Love

My heart feels swollen,

Like it’s filled with too much blood,

too much pain.

My insides are aching,

aching for love,

For lately I have lost so much love,

and have nothing to replace it with.

I lost love that was in the form of greens eyes and footballs,

I lost love that sang like an angel with flowing chocolate waves,

I can’t gain the love of the Indian boy I yearn for,

and I can’t express the love for a man with eyes that are filled with oceans and a mind which is wired similar to my own.

I am throbbing,

pulsing,

for I do not want to feel this love,

this lost love,

unexpressed, unwanted love,

this love that is not returned.

I want to crawl back inside myself,

into the dark caverns of my mind,

where no emotions,

no love can reach me,

no pain,

no fear,

just me,

and the darkness.

I hate the way my heart trembles,

how my eyes burn,

and my fingers shake.

I am being incinerated by the light,

and I can’t stand it anymore.

I need to hide,

to crawl away,

I can’t be here,

I don’t want to stay.

There’s no love for me here,

and everyone keeps slipping away.

This is why I never wanted to come out in the first place,

Why feel pain when I can just feel nothing at all?

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