Remember

My first memory; I have always known it, but never shared.  I am not one to remember very much of anything, but this is a moment of remembrance that is etched into my mind forever. The facts to the story are very few; my age, the day and even the time of year-lost. The image itself is soft and fuzzy in my mind, but it is there all the same. If I close my eyes, I am little me again: a skinny brown-eyed girl, who is all limbs and long hair. I am four or five. Like I said, the facts are lost. My small feet take me to the sun-room, with its big windows and warm comfort feeling. I place myself in the computer chair and gaze at a picture frame that leans against the wall. It has always been there, but this time something clicks. For the first time it dawns on me that the pictures of that little girl hugging the teddy bear, laughing at the dogs licking her face and her smiling and beaming back at the camera, were all of me. That was my teddy-bear, those were my dogs and those were my brown eyes staring back at me. My brain was turning, thinking and slowly processing what I have just realized; what I discovered. All of those pictures were of me, but I did not remember. I recognized pieces and parts in the images, but everything else seemed to belong to a different life. The realization that I had lived with my mom and dad in my yellow house with my dogs and my big back yard for all of my life and I did not recall any of these memories that the pictures shared puzzled me. The idea that these photographs were taken and I did not remember and that I once was an only child puzzled me even more. But then as quickly as my wonderment arose, I got up, and walked away.  

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