Whirlwind Memories

Whirlwind Memories

I still dream about you

Still smell the way your hair smells when I would

brush it back from your forehead 

so I could look you straight in the eyes when

I loved you.

Can still feel the way

Your fingers

spread, 

gently but firmly, 

as if you were holding something precious but 

fragile,

across my abdomen

under my

shirt. 

Still get butterflies 

when I think that, 

against all reality and hope

I’ve spotted you in a crowd. 

Still think your name

in my head, before realizing you’re not mine

I still know the terrain of your chest,

better then any other surface in the world. 

Still can feel the way you tense,

and your back arches slightly

as I slide my fingers under 

the waist band of your jeans. 

I know the shape of your lips better than

my own. 

Can still feel exactly how our bodies fit 

like puzzle pieces together. 

still feel your weight pushing me down on the 

sand, 

as if no strength but that of the earths

gravitational pull could bring you 

close enough to me,

just before I open my eyes,

when I’m just sleepy enough to 

hope. 

I still can’t wear some shirts, because they 

are yours to take off. 

Still can’t think your name without 

being ripped apart. 

Still can’t remember with out shaking. 

And cannot cry without the 

ghost of your fingers

catching my tears. 

I can’t look at the stars 

with out looking at you. 

You’re in me still. 

You’re around me still.

You are still the me I know. 

I still love you, 

yet my love is not mine to give,

nor do you want it. 

I am whirlwinded and torn,

Yet the wind is speaking your name and 

I can’t block it out. 

I can’t stop my memory from going to 

where it’s always gone.

All paths lead to you,

but you no longer 

wait at the 

end. 

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