My heart goes from a slow steady pace to a bolting, racing speed. I open my mouth to say something, to fight back, but nothing. Nothing can be heard over the noise. Young, worried, alone, I covered my ears. My heart goes faster, any faster, it might rip apart.
I look over there, towards him, the lights, blinding. I close them. Alone. I don’t, I can’t see anyone, even in my own head. I see nothing. Pain beings to pound through my heart, through my ribs, through my chest. It explodes, my heart, with a searing pain all over my body.
I wrap my arms around me, to comfort me, to lessen the pain, but the noise sinks into my ears, blaring into my ear drums. I close my eyes to fight back the noise and fight back the sound, but another wave of pain hits me, the pain of being completely alone. I see him, barely, behind the lights, behind the noise, ignorant to my pain.
My head pounds with every second, growing more and more tired from the pain. I fall, my body, too weak to hold me up anymore. I lie on the ground, hands over my ears, eyes shut, rolling, to rock myself to some comfort. But in this open space, with so many others, I feel so empty, so alone. My heart aches and no longer battles the pain.
My eyes are closed and only darkness. My eyes open, lights, too bright to look at, but something nonetheless. My ears, listen, to the noise. I stand up. I would rather see him than see nothing at all. I would rather see him breathing and living, despite the chaos, than see blackness. I fight pain, deafness, blinding lights, while knowing he is there fighting death and fighting for life.
I close my eyes again. I breathe again. I fear the darkness again. I open my eyes, deciding to look at him. I open my eyes and,