Mirror Dance

I can feel her laughing 

at me

in everything I do.

I may be as much as I can be

and she will always have more

because she has him.

She has his love,

and I have lost him

My thoughts are 

dangerous.

I can go to where

I am nothing.

No, I am less then nothing

I am gone.

I never was. 

We never were. 

I know this not to be

true, but she has the 

power to erase 

everything I thought I 

knew. 

The rain 

runs down my face 

in the tears I 

cannot cry.

I fall apart at all the 

wrong times. 

Staring and empty when all I 

need is the sob and weep and come out clean. 

I wonder sometimes

if I’ll ever stop hurting. 

Ever stop giving and giving and giving

and know what it’s like to be

whole.

As I dance she is following me,

as I twist and turn 

She looks back at me from 

the mirror 

and seems to be laughing 

oblivious to the agony

and my heart beating fast

and then breaking.

Yet, I cannot blame her smiles.

I cannot hold her responsible. 

I cannot find the heart to be 

angry, because I have also fallen 

I fell for his smile. 

I fell for his hands, and the sweet kisses. 

And so I try to find a way

to hold my self together

and let my fingers bleed out

all I have 

lost. 

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