The sound of pop music slowly getting louder just beside my ear slowly dissolved the blanket of sleep I had been so nicely wrapped in. I looked at my i Home. It was midnight. And I was now listening to Battle Scars by Lupe Fiasco. As you've probably guessed I am no ordinary kid. I live a double life as pet. A dog to be exact and I'm the pet of Dule Hill. Although he's not super famous he's a total boss. Right now he's acting in the TV show Psych as Gus. He's rich enough so that when I want something I get it and I was even featured in one of the episodes he was doing. Anyway, I step out of bed and continue to listen to music as I lock my bedroom door and open the window. I turn the music off before slithering under the window onto a ridge on the outside of our house. I then proceeded to jump from my second story bedroom window.
Suicide wasn't on my mind but turning into a pug in the middle of Dule Hill's house was. And that's where I landed two seconds later. Because of the time change between Santa Barbara (where he was acting) and Hanover NH it was now six in the evening. I found Dule in the hot tub on our roof with massage mode on. He had a glass of champagne in his hand a in the other he was holding a remote. The remote was for the TV screen opposite of him. There was a customized hot tub for me floating in Dule's hot tub. "Wazzup Fluffy" he said as he noticed me trotting towards the hot tub. "Man, how you been. You sure are lookin' swell today. I got some treats for you." The reason Dule never wonders why I'm only there five hours a day is because he's so busy "living da life" and acting he completely forgets about me when I'm not there. I hop up into my mini hot tub and start to eat my bowl of Celebrity Dog Treats' bacon munchies. The TV is playing American Moms and I decide to watch. When the show is over we play fetch in the trampoline room also made specially for me. When I get tired I take a nap until it is dinnertime. We often get take out from the sushi bar across the street and watch a movie while we eat. Today Thor is on the agenda and the sushi is delicious as usual. During the movie Dule proposes to take me for a walk through the city. I woof "yes that would be sweet" and he seems to actually understand me.
By the time we get back from the walk it is late and Dule goes to bed and forgets about me. I then go up to the roof and jump, this time landing in my bed safe and sound like I always do. Well, that's where I think I am until I realize I am in our yard and the house is on fire. I see my family huddled by the mailbox calling my name. If I go to them they'll find it weird that I suddenly appeared in the yard unscathed. They all think I'm trapped in the house close to or already dead. I don't have a good explanation so I would either end up in a lot of trouble or my double identity will be discovered. I don't want either of those things to happen so I decide to sneak into the house and then come back out. The first thing I notice when I open the back door is the immense heat and choking smoke. My eyes tear up and in what I think is the kitchen I have a long coughing fit. I can hear the roar of flames somewhere to my right so I stay left. It is too late to turn back now. After what seems like ages of tripping and stumbling through the burning house I feel a door nob. It is cold unlike all the other ones I touched. All I managed was to open the door and fall through the curtain of smoke onto the doorstep.
I woke up five minutes later on a stretcher in our driveway. A quick check up determined I did not have to be taken to the hospital. Once the fire was put out we went to the fire station where we stayed for the night. I wouldn't be making any more trips to Dule any time soon but it we didn't have to rebuild our house either. There were lots of repairs to make but the fire hadn't spread too much so it was reasonable. I do hope to continue living the double life. Maybe in a few weeks I’ll be chillin’ in my customized hot tub watching American Moms.