Julie Ho

Unpolished

No, it’s not to be worn ‘round your neck, bragging about the amount of money spent for its extravagance. Juuuuu-Lee, an unpolished stone. What kind of stone is a stone that refuses to be polished? Supposedly dashing the rainbows out of the clouds, throwing light amongst the walls, such a beauty, some would say.
When you drag the syllables along for a rather fretful, unruly ride, it leaves a trail, a buildup of saliva under the tongue, as if the mouth were a weapon. Tender lips lift, to imitate a nonexistent smile, or an upside down frown. What ever happened to letting the voice float off into the wind while trying to call my attention from my imagination? Surely the cry of a crow interrupts the distraction, but in a result of much cringing and a deep profound sigh.

'Tis now...
Silence.
No more memories to share.
Got no more new emails
Or days to bear.
I've waited
Days
Days
Days on end.
Up to now.
I should be okay, right?
I should be, "Oh it's okay. You don't exist. Never Never!"
But, I'm lying to myself, aren't I?
A little more than the usual.
Blast from the past? Hahah, I'm game.
It hit me fast, fast as a slap in the face.
Stinging, ringing, twitching, HARD.
I thought I was over it, really!
I thought you were done, seriously!
Stopped, did the blooming concern
Stopped, did the yearning burn.
Now now, I'm just a little girl.
Went and typed and typed to her heart's content.
Only to find, what it really meant.
Found him, the shining star.
He said he would come soon.
When the sun came low and laughter was sparse.
Three silly boys, came to meet a dream's end.
One's off to forever matrimony
Another's off twiddling his thumbs
And the last, saunters aimlessly to nowhere.
Myself, I...
Try my best to hide the reminiscence of
"The three young men and forever lost."

"It's been a while," said I.
"Where have you been?" she said.
"Nowhere in particular," he replied.

No response.

"Well,"
"You're rather..."
"vulnerable."

Why?

All three voices answered, "Why not?"

I wonder...

"Who are you?"
"What are you?"
"How are you?"

Over again

I thought you were mine.
Mine for the taking,
Mine for the loving,
Mine for the smothering,
Mine for the holding.

But you slipped away,
Away like a bird you flew,
Away like a kite that blew,
Away like a song of blue,
Away like a lie concealed by truth.

What have I done?
Over and over again.
I speak nothing but you.
A subject in the making.

By Julie Ho
Champlain Valley Union High School, Grade 9

If you could.
If you can.
Take a moment to grow silent.
Take a moment to listen.
What do you hear?
What do you hear?
Do you hear birds singing a mournful melody?
Do you hear echoes of a misshapened household?
Do you hear the pounding pressure of society?
Do you hear a person’s heart fade into the cold?
Walk with me.
Walk with me.
I need someone to confide in.
I need someone to rely on.
Walk with me.
Walk with me.
I’ve walked too many steps to remember.
I’ve seen too little of the world to forget.
I’ve been to places so far from here.
I’ve run a million miles in imagination.
Do you sit in a corner to cry?
Do you read aloud to no one?
Do you curse at hole-covered walls?
Do you pull down the shades so no one ... can see?
Walk with me.
Walk with me.
I need someone to confide in.
I need someone to rely on.
Walk with me.
Walk with me.
I’ve crawled through too many tunnels
I’ve discovered a shard of nothingness
I’ve drawn a blank page.
I’ve typed away clouds of astray.
Watch me run.
Watch me saunter.
Watch me groan.
Watch me fly.
I don’t need anything else.
I don’t need materialistic thoughts.
All I need is...
One hope.
One goal
One dream
and a strong start.
I want to finish
I want to break through that red ribbon
I want to smile with recognition
I think I’m done.
I think I’m finished.
I think I’m ready.
So come.
Walk with me.