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Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things that a human being has to do. Usually when you say goodbye to someone or something, it implies that you are losing them. While that may not be forever, it still hurts even if it is only for a short time. I am forced to say goodbye to one of my best friends this summer when the leave for the summer. While they are coming back at summer end, it still is going to hurt not having them here and having to say goodbye, even if its only for a short time.

Saying Goodbye
By Jenna Vilbrin

Saying goodbye is especially hard for me. I hate to see my friends and family leave. Or when I have to leave a special place that I went to for many years behind. It was hard to say goodbye to all my friends there and taking one last look at the scenery. It was my home away from home. I loved it up there. There were so many people to hang out with and play with. Saying goodbye is very hard to do. Sometimes it hurts you inside that you just want to cry. You have no idea what you are going to do without your friend or family member when they leave you. You just want to give them a hug and never let go. But on the bright side, you will see your friends and your family again. I don’t know when but I will see my best friend soon!

Marcus: How’s the boy holdin’ up?

Dimitri: Trouble breathing, moderate bleeding from the head and right arm. Arm seems to have severe burns, burns looked to be preplanned, look to be tribal markings. Origin, from Contusion or Three Suns.

Marcus: Calm down old man, speak slower!

Dimitri: His arm has sustained strange severe burning, but the tissue seems to be regenerating more quickly than normal… Like a super-human regeneration

Marcus: These markings… You said they looked tribal?

Dimitri: Precisely. The markings look to have originated from Contusion or Three Suns. See how this part curves around his shoulder to his back? This is the ancient meaning of power for both tribes. And see how this burn sprouts off into branches, like a tree to each of his fingers… This means vengeance or perseverance depending upon tribe.

Marcus: Hmm… Interesting. The burns he had gotten from the house fire could not have caused such a blunt looking injury to the head. Maybe falling debris from the house hit him as he was exiting with the child?

Dimirti: Possible, but not likely.

Marcus: How?

Dimirti: Well, the blunt trauma to his cranium is indented sharply. It looks to me that he was, strangely enough, stabbed by the blunt end of a knife. He’s lucky he even has a chance to live through such a wound.

Marcus: No one could have that kind of strength could they? To stab someone with a knife, excuse me, the blunt end of the knife and leave such an injury is practically unheard of.

Dimirti: Unheard of yes, happens rarely, but still happens. With raw strength it is possible, but I believe there was something else behind that strength.

Marcus: What’s that?

Dimitri: Hatred. Rage. Intense psychological instability. To attempt to kill someone in such a way would mean this man made someone very, very, angry, or he made someone psychotic.

Marcus: I sense a bit of both then.

Dimitri: As do I friend.

Shepard: *cough*

Marcus: Who was that? Read more »

Roses are red
I wish my pony was blue
I find brown
A strange equine hue

His dull color
Appears not to slow his gate
I dream he sneezes glitter
When I procrastinate

However brown blue or red
He is still my pony
I am done now
I like baloni

Walking along beside the stones
Not a thought but rotting bones
And how I am all alone

I take a seat beside a grave
There is a flag which always waves
As a symbol he is brave

I sit there and read the date
Too young to meet his fate
It is a shame I was too late

He was such a great friend
I should have been there to help defend
This is not how it should end

Public speaking, just saying those words brings a flood of emotions which deserves a sigh. Where do I start? Public speaking, well I would rather just get it done and over with, I dislike having to present, but when it comes to reading aloud, I normally don't get so flustered about it.

Lets start with presenting and reading works that are mine. First I am self-concious of my own work, second of all, presenting is much more different than just reading aloud, you see when I present I fumble over my words and screw up the sentences. It is very obvious that I am flustered and I try to keep a calm attitude, but knowing me, because I am me, I screw up. My heart starts to race, my brain is in frantic overload...I just don't know what to say or how to act. I get flustered and I fumble my words a lot.

When I read publicly the only things I have to worry about is being loud enough and mispronouncing words. I naturally can read slowly and clearly, and sometimes I do get nervous, but I doesn't show bery much. I know what to say and I don't have to do much besides read the words in front of me. There's not much to worry about, all I must do is read and continue to read loudly, and slowly, and clearly, until I am done.

Public speaking for me is like a two way street, I cannot present, but I can read to an audiance as long as it is not something of mine that I am reading. In either case I do get nervous and my heart starts to pound. Sometimes I get a little ahead of myself, but I try to go on. Public speaking isn't a walk in the park for me.   

Isn't it disturbing how our judgments of someone can prevent us from being a part of a person's life? Sure, she might have a big nose, or he might be an extremely eccentric or odd person, but does that really mean anything in the grand scheme of things? It is rather shallow to limit yourself based on appearances and rumors. Maybe these traits we so detest and reject make that person unique, and worth our while. Instead of sitting there silently scanning them with our eyes, we could get up and initiate a conversation. Initial contact is the hardest thing to do in my opinion, and it is all a simple set of interactions that leads down the path of friendship. But to deny a person without giving them at least a few chances, and trying to understand them is the most cruel thing we could ever to do to someone. We miss so much in life by doing so, and our whole future could be changed by it. I know mine was.

Rain
It’s coming down again
In droves
For days it has been the same
Grey skies crying

The sun shimmers through
For only a moment
A glimpse of happiness
In the wake of tears

Saying goodbye is essential for a beginning to start, but my heart sinks as I think of all those I will be leaving behind. Closing a chapter that has been the start of my life, and a lovely start. My heart will remain where I close the door, and sprout flowers that will forever blossom beautiful memories. There’s so much to say but my voice won’t project, for the words I will say will break the heart I intend to leave behind. The only cure to mending this broken heart is the smiles that made it grow. Here's to the class of 2012.

i hate pomes

i hate speeches

i hate cats

i hate dogs

but most of all i hate English

In the future there will be something always watching you. It could be lurking in the closet, under your bed or even right above your face. This thing is the most disgusting, scariest and skinniest thing you will ever lay your eyes on. That thing is vegetable man.   

I take yourlife

When it's time to go.

You give me a scythe,

And my face doesn't show.

When you picture me,

I am a skeleton in a robe.

I do God's dirty work,

Like making a deal

With the Devil.

"Take their souls

And you get to live."

Some fear me,

Some look up to me,

I don't like this line of work.

Taking lives,

Makes so many so sad.

It makes me feel so bad.

Life for eternity

Is so very lonely.

Sometimes, I wish I could die

And join my beloved in afterlife.

I am the Reaper,

Some fear me,

SOme like me,

And one day,

I shall take your life too.

I am a zombie, but the feeling still has not gone away. I still feel the stress on my shoulders and the ache still remains within my chest. I am a zombie. I have an incapability to feel, well, an incapability to feel as much as I should. I'm exhausted and truthfully, I, today, am just going through the motions. It seems as if the only reason I feel any emotion at all is because of the music... it strikes something within me. In this state, with the stress, I feel just a hint of anger, a deadly anger that desperately wants out and yet, with all of this going on, I act calmly. I am perfectly content as I am, but content doesn't always mean what most would think of it as. To me, it means I am not liking this, but I accept it. I am a zombie and I hope someone can bring true emotion back to me. Its sort of wierd to think of things in the grim way I do and I sort of find it funny-the thought that is in my head. Its a terrible thought. Reality doesn't seem real, everything is so calm, its all in my head. In my head, I think I could harm myself and not feel a thing. Just saying that gives me a little twisted smirk, and well if I feel pain again, at least I can feel again. However screwed up that thought is, I truly do not want to try it because I know it will hurt and I don't want to hurt. I am content with the lifless state I am in. It seems as if everything is in my head. I am a zombie, a lifeless being that walks.

      "I AM...I am a liar! I am a model figure! I am a monster! And I am ashamed! Call me the devil! My name's what you cover! But I am ashamed!! I Am Ashamed!!" ~Liars and Monsters by Escape the Fate

Almost everyone has heard this at least one, "what do you see yourself doing in ten years?" Well if i were to be asked this question i would respond with this, in ten years i see myself working as a verterinarian helping animals in need. I would help average household pets like cats and dogs. If a person came into my office with any pet problem i would do whatever i could to help the animal no longer be in pain and i will always choose euthanisation as my last resort and not give up until i have tried everything and if i had to put the animal down I would most likely shed tears along with the owner of the pet. this job would be my passion and something i could do for the rest of my life.

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things for me, I have thought about it a lot in the past few weeks, being a senior is amazing, but it’s the last year of high school and although I may have plans for the next year its going to be hard to just to everything, since almost everyone in my life today may not always be just across the hall. I can never really say goodbye to the people I have spent the last thirteen years with, it would cause too much heartbreak.
Saying goodbye is all around a hard thing to do, for anyone. So I choose not to. I really don’t think you can truly say goodbye to anyone and mean it. Sooner or later you a memory pops into your head as you’re walking through the park, or driving through town when the song hits you. This makes you think of the people you once said goodbye to, for thoughts you have lost it creates the feeling they are right there next you, the feeling of their presents is always with you, their smell their touch. It never really goes away. So if saying goodbye doesn’t really mean they are going to be erased from everything in my life, then I’ll just keep them there. I choose not to say goodbye.

Goodbye

We had a great run,
some would say it was a lot of fun.
the only trouble,
is that my pain is double.

You gave me light,
and paved my flight.
You have been by my side,
but now you need to let me go down the slide.

It will be hard at first,
but i have the thirst,
for a real life experience.
So here i am saying goodbye.
 

My heart is dancing in my chest, just begging to be released. The roar of the crowd rushes through my ears, almost as fast as the adrenaline racing through my veins. Sweat fills my palms and my hands begin to shake. Expectations and the obligations weigh heavily upon my shoulders. One move can change anything, one false action determines it all. I'm waiting for the whisle to blow, waiting for the game to begin.

The sun's rays are slowly warming my face, and the soft breeze is tousling my hair. I can hear birds sings ther little melodys in the distance, and the sounds of insecets dancing the the grass. I begin to sing in harmony with the beauty nature radiates. The light scent of morning dew lingers in the air, while swifty being carried by the wind through the leaves. This is the scene that fills me with serenity, this is where I am alive.

After years of careful consideration and intense scrutiny, I have decided that an anonymous  member of my school’s faculty must sit at the end of the rainbow. With the help of his unicorn, and armed with his trusty pot of gold, he has been blessed with the ability to ensure that the baseball team has all the money they need to have yet another mediocre season that ends with them choking in the playoffs. Debunking the “fat people are jolly” myth every day, he is the only person I know who could be up to his admittedly vertically challenged derriere in gold and not allow others to enjoy the privileges he has so hypocritically made a career of. 

Roses are red
Poems can be hard
I’m supposed to submit my best work in any genre
The effort will surely leave me scarred

Pomes that rhyme
Poems that can’t
Some emotional
Some simply rant

This thing we call poetry
A million ways to say one simple fact
Everyone sees the world in a unique light
Those that conform are following an act

Thank you for all the days I wasted tip toeing around you
And the nights I spent hiding in my room while you screamed to yourself.
Thank you for the scars on my arm and even more thanks for the ones on my mind
That act as a constant reminder of how messed up my life is.
Thanks for the lack of self esteem and lack of self worth,
For now I constantly seek approval of those I love.
Thank you for teaching me how to doubt myself with every move I make.
I am afraid to be happy and secure because when I let myself feel that way,
Something bad happens to destroy it completely.
I can thank you for showing me that first hand.
Thank you for all the false promises, the disappointments, the pain.
Thanks to you, I’ve learned how worthless a human can really be.

I hope your dreams never come true,
I hope you struggle throughout your whole life,
And I hope you’re as miserable as I was for 18 years of my life with you in it.
I hope you never find happiness
And that you finally realize what you’ve done and regret it every day of your life.
I hope that next time you try to redeem yourself that you get shut down.
Have a nice life, you can thank me later.
 

In ten years, mark my words, I will be in a great place. Sure, i'm an optimist, i mean i could be living in an old beat up car 2 miles  from my childhood home like the homeless man on my road is. But because i am such a positive person i believe i will be living in Alaska taking spectacular photos of wildlife and nature and getting them published, and if i don't.... There is always Northfield Vermont to come back to and restart. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but i don't want to know. Not knowing is the greatest mystery.

Why does the rain fall in perfect pearls?

The subsequent flood, a warning from nature,

The aftermath laid bare in blinding sunlight.

The earth itself shifts,

The air grows jovial,

My very soul lifts,

When we are together.

The bright but limited path stretches before us,

Holds infinite possibilities,

Yet the aftermath of time harbors many unknowns.

I stare into the faceless depths of the future,

A roiling anxiety burns in my stomach,

And I reach out my hand to grab yours,

But you are not there.

Despite the distance of land,

The closeness of our hearts prevails,

And I fearlessly take the first step into a new world.

Saying good bye is hard

No matter who or what you are.

It with tear you up in side

And all you can do is cry.

Every day you’re longing with grow stranger

It will get harder and harder to go on.

You may act like your fine but that will be a lie

Because in reality you just want to die.

        In ten years I will be something that will make my parents proud. I want to be a video game designer sitting in a swanky office coming up with ideas and watching people play them for years and years, but then I think that I want to help people; the sick and the needy, the poor and the hungry. Establishing a charity or maybe I could be an engineer coming up with ideas to power the future.
The point I’m trying to make is I’m eighteen years old; I have some idea as to what I want to do with myself and where I want to be in ten years, but predicting the future and then trying to duplicate what I see in my head is a daunting and near impossible task. I said near impossible so I intend to walk to the stage, up the stairs, and right across and shake the hand of the person holding my diploma. In ten years I want to be the best that I can be, but I also want to like what I do and I want it to support me the rest of my life. So I can just throw the dart at the board and hope I get the right thing; I need time and that is what will help me achieve the dream of that swanky office and having my ideas actually become something on a screen, instead of watching them waste away into nothing in my mind or on the stories I write on paper.
In ten years I will be whatever I put my mind to and in doing so nothing will stop me from reaching my goal.

         Just before that big test, that big game I do the hardest thing for anyone when there that nervous. I don’t stress about it I clear my head and blank out; and as I run, take my final, or answer that last question I use that worry I shoved down and forgot about to give me that extra push through that question or that last mile.

        If I had the power to solve one world problem it would be the economy; I would give countries the money they need to finally balance there books and stopping owing each other trillions of dollars. In doing this many problems could also be solved, with the economy back on track we could find alternate sources of energy before oil runs out in 2050; also a new green movement could in fact fix the damage we have done to our world.
Everything in today’s world is based off of money, without it you have nothing; with it you have everything you could ever want or need so that is why I would rebalance the worlds debt so people who have nothing can once again be cared for and have a roof over their heads and food in there stomachs. The world is a dark place and if I could wipe away all the debt and boost the economy then I would gladly make it brighter.

Pet Talk
One morning about 6am, I go out on our porch.
My dog Charlie is waiting for me with his ball.  I pick it up and throw it, and he will always bring it back to me. 
“Charlie” I say, petting him on the head.  “Don’t you get tired of playing ball?”
“Nope.  I live for the ball.  Throw it again, please.” 
“Whaa-at?”  I look around to see who could have said this.  There was no one around.  Charlie was looking hopefully at me. 
“I must be hearing things, you couldn’t have talked” I said as I threw the ball.  Charlie ran off to get it. He returned with the ball in his mouth, dropped it at my feet. 
I kicked the ball so that it rolled slowly toward him.  He caught it in his mouth, then pushed it with his nose and rolled it towards me.  I gently kicked the ball again.
“This is getting boring; can you throw the ball out to the fence for me so I can run?”
I stared at him puzzled for a moment then threw the ball and went back to sleep,
To this day I never woke up that early.