pressure

                Pressure. You have no idea. Trying to keep it together: top athlete, extracurriculars, honors student. It is enough to make you go insane. I cannot really complain though, not all of the pressure is from my parents, it is from me too. Perfection. That is the goal. Being perfect will get me into college, it will make me happy. It gives me a sense of control, I decide how happy I am. When I am not happy I do more. Everything

                What if I couldn’t, what if I broke my wrist? I wouldn’t be able to play or train. I could sit at home and read, I could write. I should be happy with that, right? I love to read and write in peace. But would I be perfect? No, so would I be happy?

                No it isn’t an option. I can’t. Perfection is me, and when it isn’t I try harder. They say 10,000 hours is what you need to reach perfection. Keeping track, it is like a food log, but every day I write how I trained and for how long. What if I get there? What if I reach 10,000 hours? Then what do I do?

Pressure.
Feeling forced to do something that you don't want to do.
Stressful.
How could he make me do that?
Scary.
What will he do if i don't?
Foolishness.
It's no big deal if i do, no one will find out.
Lies.
I can't believe he did that, he lied to me, he told everyone.
Regret.
Why was i ever interested in him?
Learn.
I will never do something that someone is trying to force me to do.

The alarm went off, its raucous sound emanating throughout the room and jarring its tranquil air into reality. Matt started and slowly rose into a sitting position. He rubbed at the dark circles developing beneath his eyes and blinked in the light streaming through the dingy windows and into his bedroom. It fell in patches on the whorls of the pine wood walls, creating faces in among them. Read more »

The alarm went off, its raucous sound emanating throughout the room and jarring its tranquil air into reality. Matt started and slowly rose into a sitting position. He rubbed at the dark circles developing beneath his eyes and blinked in the light streaming through the dingy windows and into his bedroom. It fell in patches on the whorls of the pine wood walls, creating faces in among them. Read more »

When the times get tough
you want to give up
and when your up all night
just suck it up and fight
your down in the dirt
yes it may just hurt,
but get back on your feet,
and don't accept defeat
you might want to shrivel under pressure,
but the weight is only a feather
rise with pride,
and all your worries will magically say good bye,
but the hardest part in whole
is learning to do it with your heart and soul

Beneath your skin
Inside your head
Replacing the words
With nonsense instead
Invading your thoughts
A penetrating hum
Of things to do
Places to run
Dates and times
It hardly seems
You can keep up
Ripping at the seams

Don't you dare break
Don't slip at all
Don't trip don't fail
Don't you dare fall

We're watching you
Bloodthirsty hordes
Waiting waiting
For one wrong word

One wrong action
One mistake
Don't you dare fall
Don't you dare break

You look so controlled
Just like always
Strolling down the street
Talking in the hallway
Acting like its just
How it used to be
Everything in place
Aligned so perfectly

But still in your head
You know its wrong
This pressure's been building
All along

And now its appears
Breaking point is near

Tell me

How long 'til that smile
Is washed away by tears?
Not long, you say
We'll see, won't we, dear?

Some "friendly" advice
From a person who "cares"
And who "knows what its like" Read more »

There has been so much
Pressure on me lately.
Pressure to
Find a job,
Do well in school,
Take loads of tests,
Get my license,
Apply for college,
Go to college,
Decide my future.
So many things are being
Pushed on my.
And I can’t help but think
That I’m going to break soon.

Behind Closed Doors not a true story
By Emily Myers
12:06 AM
Apartment 128
The Bronx NY Read more »