confusion

Life is so confusing 

You never know what could happen

First your winning 

Then your losing 

People walk by 

And they stare 

Well they can keep looking 

Beacuse I don't care

Writer's block has plagued me for a few weeks now, like an unwelcome neighbor or a rash, but I sat down tonight with my mind set on the idea to write something- anything!- just to prove to myself that I could push through it.

I sat down in my swivel-chair and poised my fingers over the keyboard. Nothing.

I grabbed a handful of grapes from my fridge and a half-glass of lukewarm coffee. Nothing.

I rubbed at my eyebrows and cheeks until they were red and sore. Nothing.

  Read more »

She can't write on the glass.

By the time she gets to the third letter of the name she keeps trying to write, the first letter is already fogged up again.

How is she supposed to know whose name it is if she can't finish it?

She can't seem to read her own characters.

What language is this?

Whose shower is this?

There's no water running.

There is no fog.

She grabs for the faucet.

Her hands don't touch it.

Nothing makes sense anymore. Read more »

I never thought we'd be more than friends. Then the day came. After nine months you broke up with your girlfriend. You told me you liked me. I said the same. I told you I would be the happiest girl ever if we dated. I've liked you for a month or so now. We started dating on April 30th 2011. It's been a week and a day. I'm starting to fall in love with you. But your ex-girlfriend is telling people she's still in love with you. She said she's going to try to steal you away from me. I haven't loved sence August of 2010. Read more »

Things are crazy, half-illusioned

and reality's an intrusion

because it isn't here, isn't here-

and the tests keep coming, coming,

and I just keeping lying, lying

writing essays that lose their meaning

and things are crazy and I sit to write that

history essay- Read more »

She runs.

(Why is she running?)

(She doesn't know)

The ground thuds beneath her feet.

(Why isn't she wearing shoes?)

(She's not sure)

The cold bites her arms.

(Where did her coat go?)

(She can't remember)

Her hands push tree branches out of the way.

(Why is she in a forest?)

(She can't tell)

She doesn't understand.

(Why not?)

(Because)

She runs. Read more »

I hate that time at night right before you go to bed.

All the thoughts you try to avoid, all at once come flooding back.

They linger in my mind.

Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Everything I once knew now seems so far away.

I figure out from these thoughts that I am just holding onto feelings that are no longer there.

I try to shove these thoughts aside like I always do, but this time it doesn't work. Read more »

 You’re throwing acid at my heart

Can’t you see

You’re slowly, surely

Killing me.

You’re just that kind of guy

Who keeps giving me reasons to laugh Read more »

I can't remember who told me
There is beauty in moderation
It might have been Shakespeare
Or some other poet
But the words have traveled with me

Maybe things were getting
A little out of hand
But I make young decisions
This isn't about
Anything being bad for me
Or you being wrong
I just might need a good night's
Sleep

I was shocked then
Because everything you said
Blew right out of proportion
In my head
And even when you clarified
That I'd overreacted
As usual
I wasn't happy
Comforted maybe
But not happy

But I'm trying to remember
Who told me there was Read more »

WHAT THE HELL
Alright, so, basically, I cannot artistically phrase what's on my mind. It's confusion so profound Chaos himself cannot eff it up any more. And it's not even that I need to figure something out or something. I don't have to make any choices, and I don't have to really DO anything. I just don't know why it happened! And by happened, I mean is sort of just sitting there. Because really, no action goes with it either.

Chaos knocks upon my door
I send him away with a frown
Now is not the time for
feeling incredibly down Read more »

There's a dark place
amongst the brightness
of moving forward
and putting on this
mask of contentment

There's an emptiness
amongst the fulfillment
as you realize another
day has gone by and
you've accomplished nothing

There's a break in my heart
amongst the bruises from
false love and dillusional
hopes of a better more
sophisticated tomorrow

There's a life to be lived
amongst the let downs
and sunless skies that give
the extra push to keep going
and be who you are

Passion
What do you do to me?
You change my mind
And those of the people around me
Why so much?
Why so many?
Why so hard?
Stop changing my mind
Messing with me
You have done a lot
But watch out
Don’t go bad…

Meh. Can't decide if I like this or not. It was a stream-of-consciousness, and needed to be written, but... I do think I've written better. I'm intrigued to know, do the parentheses work?

I'm writing this
(straight from my mind,
Unedited,
Probably
Not
Even
Coherent,
but whatever)
For you. Of course I am–
Is everything I write
For you,
In the end?
Well,
No,
It's not, and that's why
I think I need to write this.
You're amazing.
You're wonderful.
You're intelligent and musical and
So
Very
Similar
To
Me.
But you are not, I don't think,
My other half. Read more »

when motivation
lacks, sucess
disappears like
the ghostly
figure of a lost
soul, scraping
it's way to the
other side

sometimes we
think and speak
in a way that
keeps the ears and
eyes unknowing, in
this way we hide
blend into the
background as to
not burden anyone
with our sorry
excuse of a life

Like time in it's
essence ticks on,
never to go backward,
also is our heart; and
keeping away the
nightmares, the
unwanted memories
that consume us
becomes a chore
something that takes
away from our
enthusiasm

living becomes
almost like a Read more »

Where am I?
Where are you?
What is this?
I'm blinded,
I can't see,
the world is spinning
before me.
I can't tell,
where I am.
I can't tell,
what I am.
What am I really ?

If time could stop

By Ryan DiFalco
Rice Memorial High School, Grade 10 Read more »

I’m not quite sure where this is going, but it seems to be going somewhere.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The young Teirdi froze as a man’s hand gently clasped his wrist. The man reached out with his free hand to stroke the Teirdi’s cheekbone.
“Look at me” he purred, drawing a shudder from his victim. Read more »

World is crazy, tornadoes gone through
What’s in the future, I don’t have a clue
Times like this, I wish I could fly
Everything’s calmer, way up in the sky

So crazy it is, high school I mean
Hard enough, to keep my record clean
The hormone rush makes everything blurry
Living constantly, as though I’m in a hurry

Not time to relax, my life is too busy
Everything’s spinning its making me dizzy
I wish for a remote, pause I could hit
Wouldn’t it be nice, everything still for a bit

Life’s so confusing, my mind is a mess
Why is it like this, someone confess
Some kind of message, something to show
Meaning to madness, I’d really like to know

My body is fighting, no parts feel the same
Playing they are, an evil twisted game
Head likes one thing, made up its mind
Heart’s for another, both unaligned

Versus myself, I am fighting a war
No one can see it; it’s deep in my core
Both sides, they’re losing I don’t know how Read more »

I like you
You like me
I want you
You want me
You want to do things
I said no
You got violent.
You hit me
I cried
You laughed.
You thought it was funny;
the way i landed
on the floor
after you smacked me
I stay with you
We last a little longer
Then you start to drink...
It gets worse and worse.
a little more each day
vodka here
whisky there
Taquilla shot now and then.
It got really bad one night,
he came home from a friends...
DRUNK...
PLASTERED....
he hit me again
and again
he couldnt stop
he tried but it kept coming,
like a broken record
finally I passed out.
I woke up in a bright room
wearing white
Am I in the hospital?
Nah couldnt be
Wait all I remember is.....
(pause)
IM DEAD...

I know I
shouldn't be
jealous of them,
of everything I
remember about us
that I see in them

They laugh
They cry
and all the things
I miss so much
seem to be just
out of my reach

They banter back
and forth like we
used to
they tell secrets
like we used to
they heal each other's
wounds like we
used to and I'm
stuck in the shadow
of loneliness

I know she needs
her, like air to her
lungs and yet I
feel the selfishness
creeping all around
me tangling me in
my own desires, wanting
her just for myself

I hate jealousy
the way it stings
beneath my skin,
brings tears of
tantrum to my eyes
turns my heart a
cold blue

She's still your
friend, still someone
you can talk to
rely on in time of
trouble, so snap out
of it, stop feeling
sorry for yourself and
give her some room
to breathe

It's gonna have to
hurt and at times
I'll never know
the true beauty
of letting her go

How can you want me when I don’t want myself?

Every night I look in the mirror
What I see is so disfigured.

I gave up years of my life to hate and rage.
I still am not sure I gave it up.

Why do you think I am pretty?

All I see when I look into a mirror
Is a person who is a hundred pounds heavier than is healthy.

Yet when I look into your eyes
They give me a hundred reasons you believe in my beauty.

Why did you not leave as soon as you arrived to pick me up?

Every time I open my door all I see
Is a father who works too hard to clean,
And kids to don’t have enough love
To make home a better place.

Why do you think I am smart?

As you are teaching
I try hard to give all the right answers.
When I give them, you smile
As if it meant so much more.

Why do you flirt back?

My responses are unpolished.
My laughs are too eager.

I smile genuinely
When you make the same mistakes
Because I know it will draw us closer.

How can you love me when I don’t love myself?

A word, abstract and
Open for different
Interpretation to each
Individual

Everyone wants to feel
That pit in the middle of
Your stomach when you learn
The kid sitting two desks behind
You in Biology thinks you’re pretty

Everyone wants to belong and feel
Accepted

Know that they are loved and
Accepted

Tell themselves that they
Can make it and be
Accepted

But in this, we find ourselves
Walking in a crooked path
In which no light strays to
Give direction
A way out of
The darkness

I am an example of this
For in times of trouble I turned
To my own desires
My own feelings
And changed who I was to fit it
And get
Acceptance

Though I’d like to believe they
Liked me, or wanted me around
I could see after a while that I was
Just being used as someone they
Could manipulate into telling of a
Teacher for their own amusement
Or talk into stealing that certain shirt
They wanted at the mall

I let them take over my life and
Make me a ghost Read more »

I'm done trying to make magic happen, when clearly my wand is broken.

He loves me,
He loves me not…
He loves me,
He loves me not…

Too many questions
Everyday feels a little different
I have no answers
And I’ve already beheaded too many flowers

Where Are You?

By Ruby McCafferty
Edmunds Middle School, Grade 7

Everyday, always changing
never sure what will come next.
You are like an unsolvable puzzle.
There are so many parts of your
personality, your character.
So much of you
seems the same on the surface,
but when I take another look
everything is contrasting,
more different than I could ever imagine.
The pieces never fit.
It almost seems like the more I try
to figure you out,
to solve this puzzle,
the more confusing it gets.
And sometimes, if I just leave it
the pieces fall into place
and I am happy,
understanding something
for once.
And once or twice, when the solution seemed so far away
I saw it
when I wasn't really looking at all.
Everything together in one big picture,
where each piece went
and it all made sense
but when I turned, it was gone.
At first I was sad to have been that close
and to have let it slip through my fingers.
But then I realized that when I step back Read more »

As the fog sets
after a rain
hatred sets
in my heart
for my life
the way I look
the way I walk
it's like I can't
get away from
myself
I know it may
sound bad, but
it's how I feel, it's
what tears me from
the inside out
painful
filled with agony
with every forard
step
will I ever change
morph into a beautiful
butterfly
I guess I'll never know

What would've happened,
if those few words hadn't interrupted,
those ghastly few words,
that didn't mean a thing

What would've happened,
if you hadn't shyed away,
if I hadn't either
if we both held on

What would've happened,
if we met in privacy,
without the irritating twitter,
without the constant noise

What would've happened,
if we'd gotten a bit closer,
just one inch closer,
instead of pulling away

What would've happened,
if no one else was looking,
if it were only us,
What would've happened

Maybe this is love.
I don't know- does anyone?
Maybe you aren't supposed to have a soul-mate, maybe you just find someone, and they're just- unique, they're not connected to your soul, they aren't your mate. But- something about them, something about their eyes and nose and hair and face that makes you gasp every time you see them. Something about their voice that shimmers in your mind. Something that happens- something that clicks, when you hold their hand, and you feel that maybe this is love. Maybe.

Nothing ever
Stays the same
As much as we want time to stop,
The world moves on

I don't think
I'd recognize myself
If I could look into the future
Less than three years ago
Then, I was the shy little girl
The one without any friends
Who sat in the corner and read
As the world moved around her,
Oblivious
No, I wouldn't recognize myself today

How did I end up as
The one with friends?
How did I end up
As the out-going, friendly, laughing person I am today?
How did I go from lonely,
Friendless,
Ignored,
To popular
That quickly?
My confidence today
Startles even me
But sometimes I miss
That old self

I mean, I was lonely
But
I had my books, myself
My writing, my music
And I had such a great imagination
Everything was so uncomplicated
Yes, I prefer the present
I prefer acceptance over loneliness,
Popularity over shyness
But occasionally,
I miss the past

I miss the silence,
The peace,
The understanding,
But I need to know Read more »

Why can I not
Stop these thoughts
From racing through my mind

Will they only end
With vows or death?
Or will I gain my heart back
Long before then?

I'm asking you God
To give me peace of mind
And stop these thoughts
From haunting my soul

I just don't know
How long I can go
With all of this
Filling my mind

Show me a way
To disappear
Leave these images
Far behind

Let me escape
Just the three of us
You her and me
We can find happiness

I try to have faith
But I'm just so afraid
For both our sakes
That this is a lesson

I'm not sure I could take
Losing all of this
I might just break

You can see what's in my heart
You can feel all my confusion
You can read my every thought
And you know me better
Than even I know myself
I know exactly what I need to do
Give it all up and trust in you
But knowing doesn't help
When it's just so hard to do