Thing 1: Do Not Call Converse Sneakers
"Converse are not sneakers," she said to me sternly one day as we wiped the tables. "Converse are a thing above sneakers. They are to sneakers what Adele is to Ke$ha."
I rolled my eyes, checking the clock to see when we have our lunch break. "Uh-huh."
"Don't patronize me."
"Don't give me lectures on the differences between Converse and sneakers."
"If you had any semblence of intelligence, I wouldn't need to explain the difference."