apologies

I cannot comfort you, brother, because your grief is not mine.
I feel pain because you do, but your pain and mine are opposites,
though equals.

My grief lies in velvet blues and inky blacks;
a mantle surrounding and suffocating me;
a darkness that I cannot hide from, cannot escape,
because I see only it when I close my eyes.

Your pain is in vibrant blood reds and blinding whites;
fire searing away your heart that you cannot douse
(your tears only fuel the flames),
cannot fight off.

Forgive me, brother,
my sorrows engulf me,
drown me,
and I cannot move while yours

burn.