haze

I have been living in a summer haze. I seem to have convinced myself I am not who I am and I do not go to school. 

A girl can dream, right?

Summer is like dreaming; a very vivid dream. You might go places or see people, try new things or just sit around in your room all day; either way once school starts back up again, or just before it does, you get the sense that summer has been here forever, yet you just started. At the end of a school year kids can remember summer with ease, but at the end of summer, it's difficult to rememebr school. (Maybe that's our brains' way of blocking painful memories.) 

Summer--and everything you acomplished during that time--is a dream. A very vivid dream. Is that what life is at first, right after you graduate?

I'll be 14 soon, in September. I'm not ready to be 14, I just turned 13. I'm not ready for 8th grade, because that means High School is only a year or less away and I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready to be done, for anything to be different. I just got here. Too many things have changed, and I'm NOT ready. I'm not ready to be older, not ready for more responsiblity, not ready to move on and make new friends, not brave enough to try something new. Not ready to date, and I'm not looking forward to how awkward school is. Or rather, teenagers in general. I'm not ready. Read more »