i promised

She would love to be able to tell someone

that they are the only reason

she would ever choose not the leave.

(She doesn't have one.)

She wishes she had the opportunity

to look you in the eye and tell you

"I love you I love you I love you to pieces with every part of me."

(But that would make her weak.)

If she could go back in time she wouldn't change her own life

she would change yours and yours and yours

and protect you from ever feeling pain.

(But that would make you weaker than she ever was.)

She wants to look at perfect things and people and ideas

and not imagine how glorious the rush would be

to destroy everything about them.

("I promise I'm not a psychopath... yet," she whispers.)