gay

             This was my college entrance essay, I got into University of Illinois at Chicago, University of Michigan, Unversity of Vermont and Columbia College Chicago with this essay. Thanks for reading

             I had been carefully taught that gay people were freaks of nature, intolerable, and infectious. Fourteen years of my life were seemingly dedicated to this manner of thinking. I have memories of my mother clearly voicing her disgust when it came to homosexual people gaining their rights. The acceptance and diversity windows of my mind were drilled shut and I became unable to judge what was right and what was wrong.

            Growing up in one of the least diverse state in the U.S. didn’t help me realize that my homophobia was ignorant and upsetting. Through the beginning of eighth grade, there was never a question about anyone being gay. Things were normal. During my last year of elementary school, a student from Florida came into our class of 24. His father was gay. I secretly wanted to see his father, just so I could say that I had seen a real gay person. My mother had her comments, little grunts, opinions of how nasty he was. It wasn’t until high school that these opinions came out of my head, too, and were verbalized in the faces of other gay people. Read more »

Once home I threw my bag in the hall and walked into the narrow kitchen. My mother focused on the plucked chicken in front of her. I said hi, grabbed a drink and sat down.

The garden door stood open. My dog greeted me, quickly going back outside to chew on a branch leaving the beads of the fly curtain tinkling behind him.

“Mom, I am gay.”

In my last class of the day we had a discussion on homosexuality. While the others in my class opposed acceptance of gay people, I defended; as per usual I would have the counter opinion.

Seconds before the school bell rang a girl shouted “He’s a fag”. I looked at her, and the other kids, only to answer “Yes, I am”.

Suddenly, unprepared, I had my coming out.

Thirteen years old I had only recently start to understand my feelings and connected them with the label ‘gay’. Everybody stormed out of the room while my steps seemed to go in slow motion. Being baffled at what just happened I ignored the voices around me, walking outside to wait for the bus and go home. Read more »

Well, that's gay. She says.

The disgusted remark makes me see red.

Excuse me? I demand.

I glance over at him.

Chill! I didn't do anything wrong. She says.

I push myself to my feet.

You called the test gay!

He flinches.

Do you have a point? She says.

She doesn't get it.

We don’t choose who we love. We can’t. It’s impossible to control a heart. Hearts do as they will and it’s our job to follow after them. No one can tell you how to love or who to love. But they’ll try. Try to crush our spirits, change our feelings, break our wills, but they’ll never sway our hearts. A heart knows what it wants.
Love is. It cannot be described, it cannot be “faked” or forced. Love is trust, love is dependability, love is affection, adoration, but above all, love is blind. Blind to age, race, and gender, blind to appearance, and faults. Love is a bond that ties two hearts together and sees nothing. Only feels.
There are those who do not approve of “certain types of love”. But love has no limits and no exceptions.

“Love is real, real is love. Love is feeling, feeling love. Love is you, love is me. Love is knowing we can be” –John Lennon

I am the way i am
and i cant change that
i may be unlike you or your family
but it doesnt mean that i am bad.
i hear you tell your kids to be afraid
and i believe that you say this because
you dont understand me...
i am a nice and caring person
there is nothing wrong with me...
the way that you look at me when i am with her
hurts so terrible you have no idea...
why you do this is way beyond me...
i wish that one day you will
come to understand me and others like me.
we are not bad
we are not dangerous
we are just like you
with one exception...
you choose to love someone opposite to you,
myself and many others i know
choose to love people of the same sex...
this doesnt mean that we are terrible
bad people. this means that we are unique
and we dont follow the crowds.
i dont know how to make you understand,
but someday you could be in this position.
and i will be the one to tell you that you are wrong.
so think about this and in the end, Read more »

3/9/09

Streets never screamed so loud. The revolutions of every single wheel on a rusty bicycle, the clicking of matted boots, voices upon voices colliding with one another, all blending into one gigantic force. Black hair, white hair, blond hair, hunched over, crouching, walking, running, standing, it didn’t matter. They are all faceless to me anyways, why bother looking for some indication of emotion or spark? All their voices, incredibly monotonous and utterly boring.
I took one last drag off the cig before flicking it into the trash can. I know I know, bad habit. Whatever, might as well drop those seven seconds of my life every time I take a drag, not gonna hurt me in the long run right? Yea, I only smoke like, uh, half pack a day. Not bad, better then some kids I know in my neighborhood. Read more »

He woke up
the sky was in his eyes,
and the wait was over.
The books were finally finished!
and for all but the occasional
royalty check,
he would hear no more of the business.
'Ahhh', he thought, blinking into the
bright haze of morning,
'What freedom. There is so much of life
I have never been able
to live...'
So, on that day,
in total confidence and vitality,
Dumbledore leapt up from his bed
and strode proudly into
the Great Hall of Hogwarts,
white beard whisping
past a sparkling pink G-string
slung scandalously low
on his hips.

All I can do is stare,
at your lips
so full
your nose
so sharp
you hair
light brown
your eyes
so deep
your frame
so slight

But I know
that all I can do is stare
because your lips are full
and your eyes soft
and your hair is long
and your shoulders small
your nose sharp
your jaw set
because of your hands so warm
Heart and Mind declare war
I hate myself
I fear myself
Because you're a girl

I waited until midnight, just like we'd planned. I tossed my blankets to the bottom of my bed and switched on my light. Heavy silence and summer heat slowing my every motion, I laced my chucks and grabbed my tattered backpack. I was already fully dressed, so I turned off the light and headed for the door. Once in the hallway, I turned again to face my room. Read more »

I waited until midnight, just like we'd planned. I tossed my blankets to the bottom of my bed and switched on my light. Heavy silence and summer heat slowing my every motion, I laced my chucks and grabbed my tattered backpack. I was already fully dressed, so I turned off the light and headed for the door. Once in the hallway, I turned again to face my room. Read more »

Waking up, he turned on his side, facing the emptiness of the bed that will forever remain a memory of all the things left unsaid. This is nothing new. Every morning, he wakes up, the emptiness left from the night before more a part of his life now than Keiran ever was. Read more »