Chelsey Anderson

John has medium hands, and his fingers are proportional. He does a lot of work, he prays, he has a very unique personality with a contagious laugh to complement it, and he's understanding.

Katherine has smaller hands with skinny little fingers and is breakable, especially her heart, but she's so easy to mend.

Mitch has big, skinny hands with long fingers. He plays guitar, is musical overall, and doesn't let very many people inside. Most of the time he just allows them to scratch the surface and then he steps away.

Brenden has the same type of hands, and also lets almost no one inside. He's artistic rather than musical and doesn't know the rules.

I don't know what you want me to be. A figment of your imagination, a bad mistake, a memory? A friend? All of these things, some, none, whichever it may be, mean that I owe you something- an apology.

I'm sorry that I'm not completely open- that that night I didn't climb next to you or take your jacket or tell you everything. I tried, I really did. I wanted to know things about you, things that mattered, I promise. Please forgive me for that- at that point I was too happy that you wanted to talk to me to screw things up. I might've anyway.

I'm sorry about being weird and random, too. I think sometimes that it's because I'm afraid. I just can't face things, so it's easier to get off subject.

I'm sorry for my slightly obsessive attitude. I know that, for a friend, I probably seem pretty clingy. I'm just afraid that I'll lose what I have- it only had to happen once. You're just so easy to confide in, and I feel like you actually care.

She paints the sky black
And dots it with stars
She bottles her feelings
And keeps them in jars

Hurt, she wonders,
Is this normal too?
And she knows now that
Her world is askew

Her eyes shine true
Through the forest at night
'Cause she's looking, still looking
For a new kind of light
She needs new fulfillment
To get through the day
She can't keep painting
And and feeling, and living
This way

Time to paint her world
She splatters it blue
She would break down
If you knew what she knew

She knows about you
Knows your whole life
How as insults cut deeper
So does the knife

Her eyes shine true
Through the forest at night
'Cause she's looking, still looking
For a new kind of light
She needs new fulfillment
To get through the day
She can't keep painting
And and feeling, and living
This way

She can paint all she wants
She can paint the universe
She still knows, in the end
It's just an empty hearse

Her chains should be falling

Tears are my snow
And your words are my wind,
Be careful, you'll make a blizzard.

The snow pounds the ground
Like his fist on her flesh
He's simply causing a blizzard.

She hangs off you,
The snow on the trees
I see, she is your blizzard.

Shelter me now
You're stronger than me
Save me, please, from this blizzard

The snow piles up
Falls all around
I'm stuck underneath,
Pinned to the ground

The hurt you cause me
More snow, more wind
I know now, you are my blizzard.

The words you so carelessly choose my not make her lose her facade.
Your actions have always opened themselves up and screamed in her face.
If you don't want her here, why don't you just tell her so?
She's simply decided she used to be too quiet.
Sometimes, things need to be said.
I guess she's finally decided that.

Butterfly kisses
And wonderful things
Cute little puppies
And diamond rings

Watch your back
You spineless fool
Things you do
Unwind the spool

Actions screaming
Words alone
Black sky dreams
And there's no home

Pretend you're there
For her, you'll shine
Be careful, boy
For you she'll pine

Break her trust
And stab her twice
Weren't you afraid
To roll your dice?

Apparently not
For you'll never see
What she looks like
When she's just debris

Butterfly kisses
And wonderful things
Do you see now, boy
You've stolen her wings.

Our "once upon a time"
Is not as beautiful as it seems
'Cause in the end we're left with
Nothing but broken dreams

We strive for something different
Something new, unique, big
'Course, sometimes we're left
In that hole we just had to dig

"China," we explain
Glee on our little faces
Somewhere down the line
Knowledge took our places

Strapped us down and told us how
Our dreams, we'll never reach
Irony, a funny thing
They should practice what they preach

Impossible, they make it
For us to reach our dreams
'Cause our once upon a time
Is not as beautiful as it seems.

Today was the day
The moon shined brighter than the sun.
The children didn't stop laughing
And
She started eating again
And
You smiled at me.

Today was the day
When the fish breathed air.
She wasn't depressed
And
Teenage girls weren't pregnant
And
You held me.

Today was the day
The growing grass surpassed the trees.
We weren't in Iraq
And
He didn't get beaten
And
You asked me.

Today was the day
That the earth stopped spinning.
We weren't afraid to sing
And
Nobody cried
And
You loved me.

Today was the day
The moon shined brighter than the sun.

I made a bracelet.
It was for you.
You saw it today.
Did you know it was for you, to keep me from saying what I need to?
Did you recognize the blue and red?
Remember, you told me that.
Remember that night?
Please listen, because she won't.
I was doing things left and right for her, out of my way.
She didn't remember my name an hour later.
I'm trying to make friends with her for you, you know.
It's not like she did anything wrong, not to me.
So I'm being fair.
I hope.
But I'm feeling used.
So I made a bracelet.
It was for you.
But I'm going to wear it.
I need it more than you.

And I promised.
I promised I wouldn't cry for you.
You don't know how many times I've almost broken it.
But I promised.

Did you like me?
Did you ever like me?
Were you just taking pity on me?
Do I matter to you?
Could you forget my face?
Do you want to forget my face?
Do you like her?
Have you always liked her?
Did that mean anything?
Were you planning on seeing me?
Are you actually my friend?
Did you lie to me?
Can I trust you?
Why did you do it?
Was is for you or for her?
Who's idea was it?
Was I supposed to see?
Did it "just happen"?
Does anything I say matter to you?
Why won't you tell me off?
Did you know?
Did you want to know?
If I bug you, why won't you tell me?
Are you honest with me?
Are you really not innocent?
Do I matter?
Are you still my friend?

She paints the sky black
And dots it with stars
She bottles her feelings
And keeps them in jars
She paints the world,
Splatters it blue
She'd break down
If you knew what she knew
The stars still twinkle
And she won't cry
She'll just look up
To her star dotted sky.

She dances
Under the
Cover of the
Pine trees
Swaying
Jumping
Tapping
But it's too
Overwhelming-
Everything.
So she runs
Runs until
Her legs give
Out
And she crashes
Onto the
Cover of
Decaying leaves
Wishing that
This pain would
Stop.
She shakes so
Much but
In the end,
No matter how
Much this hurts,
Tomorrow will
Come.

The sad face
Hastily
Drawn on my pinkie
With a green
Marker
Slowly fades
And so
Perfectly
Reflects my
Soul.
I never meant
To represent
My feelings
The way I
Would've in
Kindergarten
But it's more
Than I could've
Ever spoken.

She's afraid to
Tell you her
Username
And that she
Doesn't have
"Like five posts"
She has a hundred.

She knows that
You have one
Of those memories
That makes you
Able to use
Everything
Against her.

She has already
Told you too
Much about herself,
And then you
Put her faults
And slip ups
In her face.

She's not ready
To let you
Access the most
Wide open hole

Catch Me

By Chelsey Anderson
Westford School, Grade 8

Isn't there someone
Out there who will
Promise to catch me
When I'm falling?
Isn't there someone
New besides my best
Friends who I can trust
To the ends of the
Earth?
Isn't there someone
Who thinks that I'm
Good enough to give
Me the time of day?
Isn't there someone
Who wouldn't push
Me when I fall, but
Instead would be there
To save me before
I was gone too far?

I wish that I could
Just remember that
I'm not invincible.
I do hurt, and sometimes
I do need help.
I'm not perfect, and
Someone needs to understand
That.
I'm not invincible, so
Why does the world always
View me as so?
Sometimes I'm not ready to
Find out the world's problems.
Sometimes, I don't need to
Know how close he came to death.
I'm not invincible, and

I constantly feel
Doubt,
Fear,
Anger,
Shame,
Confusion,
Sadness,
Tearing me apart
From the inside
Millions of blades
Creating invisible
Scars
That no one bothers to
Look for.
My only remedy is my
Music, more and more
Carelessly picked
Playlists that
Begin to dull
My invisible blades.

Headlights
Reflect off
From her
Mirror
And for a
Few moments
I can see
Her possessions
Sitting in the
Back of her
Car:
Two identical
Car seats,
A barbie doll,
A blue toy truck,
An old stuffed teddy
That has been hugged
So many times
It's almost worn
Through,
Two pairs of
Little pink
Sunglasses
With fake
Diamonds on
The rims,
A giant box of
Cigarettes,

I ran
I fell
I tumbled
I lay alone
Because who cared
About a little girl
Running through the park
Alone near dusk?
I heard footsteps
Rushing
Coming faster, louder
At the edge of unconsciousness
I heard a voice
Saying softly
Stay with me, sweetie
I’m here for you
A care about you
And no one will
Hurt you again
Not here
Not now
So I opened my eyes

Who knows what lies ahead?
Car crashes
Man screams
Flashing lights
Women cry
Quiet murmurs
Who knows what lies ahead?
Angry words
Harsh sounds
Punch thrown
Now unconscious
Fast steps
Who knows what lies ahead?
Ball shot
Three points
Buzzer sounds
Happy cheers
We fall
Who knows what lies ahead?
Now switched
We shoot
Two points
First victory
High fives