love

Heart of a Hero

         When most children think of the Army they think of red, white, and blue. They think of men and women marching triumphantly through the walls of an enemy, to defeat whatever person is against the US. They think of the USA being the best, with our army strong and forever protecting our county. They are patriotic, and believe that everything is right.

         But when I think of the army, I think of a big man sitting at a huge mahogany desk, surrounded by papers which he stamps with red ink. He laughs, and props his feet up and leans back in his giant leather chair and shouts in a heavy voice.

         "Whose life shall I ruin next? Whose family shall I tear apart and make suffer for no reason? While I sit here and happily watch them struggle? "

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Live with your soul mate

Ones in your life time

Very lovely

Ever intill you part

My wish goes something like this, Friendship.

My wish goes something like this, Love.

My wishes go something like this, Friendship, Love, and Peace.

Syncopated movements and slow motions,

Swallow me into a harmony of us.

In this world where you can replace the broken bits of me and let me hope for something good.

But you build me up, and tear me down.

I can't control myself, I want you, I can't have you.

You taunt me with your actions and trick me with your words, all with a smile on your face.

And I am just trying to move on but you keep pulling me back.

I'm suffocation in my pain and feeling the aches in you as well.

I am holding your weight and you don't even know it.

I could try to walk away but your slow motions memorize me. I want to stay.

The light touches my skin and yet darkness envelops deep within me. 

Is this what it's like to love you?

It's these simple questions that trick my mind and remind me to keep with the rhythm of reality.

It's dreams like this that keep me wanting to drown into a sea of sleep just to unearth such thoughts. 

Sleepy Secrets.wav

Wrapped in a cozy blanket; Read more »

My young heart still feels every moment we had together.

My stomach still flutters thinking of our first kiss. 

I can close my eyes and see your blue eyes shinning down as you stare back down at me.

We had everything, young love packaged in a perfect relationship. 

When it broke I was shaken out of my dazed happinies and welcomed back to harsh reality. 

You broke me, every piece of me. I shattered like glass and tears wouldn't even come out of my eyes. I was a storm with no rain, no purpose anymore. 

You built me up and broke me down. You pushed me down before I even had the chance to fight back. 

I still wonder what we could have had.

I still miss your sweet melody of saying I love you.

I still miss what we had. And maybe that's because I know you can never forget your first love, and how I live by this saying. 

You are wrapped deep in my heart and I still feel every moment we had together.

Those words we can't take back, those songs that can't be unsung, the kisses forever on my lips, all are stuck with me.

I bet you forget all about everything. 

I guess that's how first love is, but I still wonder what we could have had, if we kept us together. 

Happily Ever After.wav

I'm not perfect

When seeing

Is not the same as believing

When everything goes wrong

It's hard to be strong

Out on the street

Life is far from sweet

We come and go

A bit numb, but we know

The grass grows greener

Underneath your feet

Living very close to dying

Trying not to be crying

On a park bench I yawn

I know you want me gone

Just by your demeanor

But even a smile would be a treat

When seeing

Is not the same as believing

When everything goes wrong

It's hard to be strong

My heart just wants to break

Somedays it's more that I can take

What am I learning

As my stomach is churning

So I struggle on and on

To find a place to belong

I see you

Please see me

Where is my hope?

The strength to help me cope

This is no longer funny

More like an agony

When seeing

Is not the same as believing

When everything goes wrong

It's hard to be strong

There's no need for you to pretend

You could just turn around again

Love can be your legacy

It helps exponentially

For today, be my friend

Homelessness can find an end

Here I am, stuck in this place. 

Confined between reality and dreams. I am a dreamer, I prefer to avoid reality.

Reality is where I can't have you. 

I know I can't have you, yet I want every piece of you. 

I'm not good enough for you.

Give me some time.

Let me show you I am better than her.

Or her. Or her. Or that other girl.

Don't judge me by my cover. Don't judge me by my past. If we all lived this way, the human race would be nowhere.

So judge me for the girl you know. Or I hope you know.

Give me some time.

I know that feeling of rejection. 

We feel it in every inch of our bodies. It creates a chilling sense through our soul and haunts us through the night as we stir in our beds. 

We all know that feeling of not being good enough.

Are we raised in a place where we are taught to fear rejections?

Give me some time.

You have hurt me. 

Shaken my life and have almost broken me.

But you make me feel like I am worth your time.

I don't like reality. Stuck in this place where I can't have you.

It's a shared feeling spreading like a huge blanket across the world.

Give me some time, to let me show you, I can be yours. And you can be mine, in reality. 

They were meant to be together, through they're rough years and they're easy one's they stood by each other and smiled at each other and laughed along side one another. She wore his ring on her finger and he wore his heart on his sleeve where she could reach it the easiest. They called it love. They grew older and had two children which carried they're love through generations to come. They watched the children grow up, and with that, they're love deepened. They had gray hairs upon they're head and smiles that wore wrinkles on they're cheeks, but they knew no matter what happened they would always have each other. 

Then she got sick. He wasn't but 67 years old when she left him. He swore he'd meet her soon again, and he smiled upward with tears in his eyes, and remembered her once more, as he recalled the poem she had always recited to him with a smile on her lips,

Love is brief

Love is kind

Love is meant to forever last,

If it is truely love that you find.

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Valentine.wav

I wouldn't mind staying here for a while Read more »

It was love
Pure love.
And when they touched,
It was like electricity.
Smooth and soft kisses
Shared
Heart beats,
Synchronized.
Lost in each other's eyes
Hiding in disguise.
Pretending to be someone
They were not
Something,
They were not.
Look at them now
Not even speaking.
Losing something
That not everyone gets to cherish.
They took it for granted
And lost face.
Keeping the lies
In a not so pretty place
Kept underground
Where no one could see it.
Where no one could believe it.
Love turned into hate.

Intimately intertwined
Intricate
Intriguing
Intolerable intoxication
Intense interaction
Intimidating interest
Interlaced

I eagerly rip off the tape and open the box, being careful to keep my weight on the stool, so as not to fall in. The box is full to the brim with packing peanuts. Oh good, I think. I can make some beanbag chairs with those. I dig through them, waiting to touch my surprise from Gram. She always buys me really expensive, nice stuff. I dig and dig, but I don't find anything. I finally dump the box over and crawl inside, trying to find whatever is in it. I can't. I dump all of the packing peanuts out, and there isn't anything in the box except a piece of paper. I look at it, hoping it'll be money, or a gift certificate. But no. It is a drawing, very good, by Gram, and a word. Love.

darling, come here and let me write you into the story
that is my life,
let me write you into the painful bits and the laughter, give me
your love so that i can spill out my heart
and love you back so much that i can’t sleep anymore, give me
all of your dreams so that i can whisper in your ear all of
mine and tell you that yours will all come true, give me
the chances that you missed and the ones you took
so that i can add myself to the list of chances taken
and so i can wake you up, late at night, so we can go
take some chances you thought you missed.

baby, let me give you my heart and let me take yours,
trust me with everything you have ever desired
and let me stay up all night by your side so that we can
wake up in the morning and think about how much
we love each other and how glad we are that we are
so very alive
and so very much in love with
each other.

The cat's word, enjoyment, as, eyes closed, it leans up to rub its sleek head into the palm of my hand. It has the same face when it lies sprawled in the stripes of sunlight and shadow, bars thrown across the floor, nose pressed to the window.

Or the word of the girl when her friend, sister, mother reaches to stroke her hair, for no other reason than because they connect in simple bonds of love and the sunlight and oceans churning in their heart cannot be expressed, but both know it. It's unexpected pleasure, lingering. The girl will remember, and later, it times when tears prick her eyes and the world seems to stab at her throat, she will swear she can still feel the soft hand lingering at the nape of her neck. And it will be something to hold onto; it will be her salvation. It will whisper to her on nights when she lies awake staring at the stars and thinking of what lies beyond. It will squeeze her heart when she is so thoroughly alone.

The word of the baby rocking to sleep, nestled in a swing or in strong, warm arms, trusting without thinking about trust, floating on cradling currents and the flowing voices of clear song. Drifting off peacefully without giving a thought to waking. Or aging. Or dread of what is yet to come, what moutains to drag themself over on bloody hands and knees, no, none of that. Such things are banished here. All that exists--rocking, lightness, peace. A stream of song. Read more »

I love you

You love me

Lets live together

In true harmony

Your love is essential

Us being married is potential

Your touch is extravagant

When I’m with you I feel arrogant

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I watched you break my heart silently,

you weren't even aware of the effect you have on me.

I passed through the hall with a grin on my face just to know you were there.

Your eyes being the gateway to the realm of majesty.

I've had so many late night conversation with you in my head.

But you never said what I wanted you to even then.

I struggle with the pain that comes from having your heart out of socket.

The way he holds his pencil,

So delicately,

As if to break the point would be as life itself would crash down before us.

The look of determination,

Giving his all.

When the emoticon pops up,

A circular yellow face with its tongue half out.

Hmmm

Is all he writes as he contemplates,

what I spill out to him.

My ventilation.

My breathing point.

My relaxation.

One look could last a lifetime,

And all the memories I've collected have got me thus far.

Thanks for just smirking,

Calling out my name,

Writing me back.

What is Love?

Why do people make a huge deal about it.

Why is the symbol a dove.

I understand one bit.

Kids make fun of me...

Because I don't know what it means,

Feverish

cold sweats

Jumpy, 

electric volts without the pain.

Crazy

insane

passion

sweet rush.

Sad songs,

your songs.

Life stories.

Exchanged smiles.

Promised letters.

Nothings sweet about the bitter goodbyes.

You said I'd never see you again, but I don't believe you.

I still don't.

I don't want daydreams

or night dreams.

I want real life

with you here

with me

with you

and your hands

with the fingers that fit perfectly

with my own.

I don't want cold salty tears.

I want the ocean

and the pounding surf

that makes us seem so small

in a world that proved to be too big for us.

I don't want doors closing that led to other open ones.

I want you

at my door

with flowers 

and an apology 

for why you took so long.

My soul longs for you. 
My heart misses the butterflys you give me. 
My ears miss the sound of your voice. 
My lips miss the feel of your lips. 
My eyes miss the sight of you. 
My hands miss being held by yours. 
My nose misses your eschamo kisses. 
My sides miss being tickled by you. 
My feet miss playing footsie with yours. 
I miss you. 

Untaintedly lovely

Fiery brilliance of your soul

Musty great bushes

Of trampled plans

To talk to you

In the web

Of my imagination

I could listen to you everyday

For all of them

Your face, aligned with grace

Captures my eyes

I relive moments,

but pass you by now.

Left envisioning waking up by your side every morning.

Reluctant saunter down the one way streak.

We've become sadder than tomorrow. Read more »

It's been three years

since you first said,

"We will never meet again."

We went our separate ways,

I never even got your last name.

All I had was your laugh

and a picture in an forgotten box--

The laugh faded,

the picture grew old

but I still remembered

"We will never meet again."

At the time,

I believed it.

I'm going through old pictures,

And I come across the one of us.

I couldn't help but laugh

at the sound of your voice in my mind

"We will never meet again."

because

you know me like your favorite song.

You have me all figured out:

You know my fear of clowns,

the way I goof around,

my awful singing,

and my delicious baking.

We were never going to meet again but...

Now you're calling me up

to say you're falling in love.

Is this

an accident

a coincidence

or is it just meant to be?

I’ve found myself wondering

more often these 

days

Sinking into a gloomy

place and this 

question 

bounces in my

head.

Does love exist? 

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