Leah Kanoff

Memories
Written By Leah Kanoff

Memories are something that stay forever.
They hold her back, they move her forward.
Thy maker her laugh, cry, makes her wish she could turn back time.
Some memories break her heart in two.
Let go? Or, hold on?
Twelve written pages later, she hasn’t stopped writing, hasn’t make up her mind, hasn’t sent the letter.
Letting go makes her want to hold on even more, but holding on breaks her heart too.
Can she really let go of someone who has helped her so much?
But can she change herself to hold on?
Change her heart to not want more? Change her heart from falling in love?.....
Sure she can try, but could she really do it?
Would she only lying to her own heart then?
Her heart skips a beat when the phone rings, reminding her how much she really want to pick up the phone and just talk to him, but doesn’t…….
But she can’t live for yesterday she has to start living for tomorrow, the future, not the past.

Forbidden
By Leah Kanoff
May 2008
Written for anonymous

The pain and happiness of everything coming to a closure is more then she can bare.
Schools getting out for the summer, the girl tells herself she should feel happy, but why does she feel so melancholy?
The feel of the summer breeze pushes back her long hair, letting a tear fall from her eye, as she sits on the rock in the middle of the river.
Is it the thought of knowing that when school starts again, she’ll never see her cousin again roaming in the hall ways?
No, it isn’t just that.
It’s something else.
It’s the thought of her missing something, somebody, him, the someone she never had or could ever have; but has she secretly been wishing she could?
Too scared to really open up to anyone, there was something about him that made her feel safe, she found some kind of trust in him, which allowed the door to fall open.
Yes, the girl knew her answer; it was the fact of probably never seeing him again.

Un Spoken
By Leah Kanoff

Ever have a time where you would imagine and reply the conversations over and over again in your head, remember the feelings that were shared, the looks that were given, every last word that was spoken, but then they never really were spoken after all, were they?
Something is planned to go one way, but with no warning out of the blue it back fires on you and away it goes in a total new direction.
And then that’s when you realize life is about give and take, learn and forgive, and that maybe every feeling you have can go any which direction it wants with no warning.
Have you figured out that being spontaneous is actually planning? And then you’re no longer spontaneous, but you have to act like you haven’t been planning.
You wonder, did you hear every word I spoke, read everything I wrote? Can they feel all the unsaid words that are never spoken, because they have no voice? And then they’re left standing wondering what and where all those unsaid words go.
Given the chance multiple times to share every word, every feeling every thought, never once do you open your mouth.
And yet we wonder why we suffer? Why our hearts become broken. Why we never get to be with the one we like. Why does it feel like we fall for people we never can be with? Why were never with the ones we love. Why everything is complicated and confusing.
We sit hopelessly, hoping that one day, he or she will really know how you feel.
But life is not like a movie, and if the words feelings and thoughts never slip past your lips, how will the person ever know?
And no matter what, we always run round and round in circles, hide behind a bush, trying to find a way to say what you want to say, but never find the courage too, we hope that the other one says it first, until it is too late and every feeling and word gets pushed further and further away from you and those words and feeling will never be spoken, or will they………

Falling
By Leah Kanoff

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once too hard to bare

The stillness is too great
But the change to difficult to make
She bleeds salty tears

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once too hard to bare

From the outside, she looks like any normal girl
Smiles and laughs, as she covers the untouched truth which lies deep inside her
Oh make up can play so many tricks, cover up what you don’t want others to see
Make an appearance of who you are, but aren’t
She covers many things as she cuts, cuts her way through life, love, pain, friendships, school and the lies she believes as truth

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once too hard to bare

Perfumes cover the sense of uneasiness
Untouched she lies and says she is fine
No one would ever know the truth she bares deep down within her heart

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once too hard to bare

The silence of nothing being spoken hides everything away
She fears to change and uncover her happy fake smile, for the tears she sheds
She reaches out trying to find the words she has buried away within her, none however she can find
Even if the words were ever found, to scared, to hurt, to confused, would she ever share the truth again?

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once to hard to bare

No one sees the untouched truth which lies deep inside her as she hides it way with a laugh and a smile
No one sees the things she cuts through, as she covers up with make up
No one can sense the things she goes through by the perfume she wears
No one can tell the lies she says when she says she is fine

Fallen through the pain
Falling through the lies
Fallen through the things that were once too hare to bare

Beauty
By Leah Kanoff

What is beauty?
The shininess of a young girl’s hair as it glistens in the sun?
Or the single tear that falls from ones eye?
The aquamarine color in his eyes?
Or watching the poor young girl who sits on the hill and watches the sun rise?
What is beauty?
Beauty, the word that can contain a thousands meanings.

Thank you

Thank you for giving me the air to breath, the chance to live, the knowledge to forgive, and the heart to love uncontrollably.
The strength to face the unknowns, the challenges, the sadness and the heart breaks.
For with or without you, you have done all that you can; by giving me the chance, to breathe.
The chance to take that breath, and sore with it whichever way life leads.
The challenge to use all that you have given and taught me and use it in the best way I can.
The hardness of life of knowing when to forgive. To forgive yourself for the things you wish you did differently in life, to forgive the people in your life who may have hurt you somehow, and to forgive and let go.
The difficulty of all the love you gave me, which now is in my hands to keep, to share, to have broken, and given back to me again.
The chance to live and the air to breath.

Morning

Once again, you’re woken up by the light cracking through the window shades.
Its morning, but you’re not quite ready to face the day.
The sun is shining if you’re lucky, but the sun is not quite warm enough to get you out of bed.
Why get up only to have to face another day of school? Another day of hard work, another day of nothing but running and running round and round in circles, or so that’s how it feels.
You wonder when life will really start. Or has it, and you don’t even understand what it is that you’re doing.
Why do we go on living, what is that little thing in life that keeps us going, keeps us waking up each morning, keeps us wondering, keeps us searching for answers we might not understand, what is the thing that keeps on living until the end.
Is each day just another day passing by, another hour, another second?
Or is each day something we should cherish, learn from, and love each second, because it is a day we can never have again.
So is morning going to be just another day, just another twenty four hours passing by, and another 86,400 seconds of life going by?
Or is morning going to be a day where we learn something, even if its such a small thing we don’t even realize what we learned or how we helped, and is it going to be a morning, a day we keep and remember because we should live each day like there’s no tomorrow.

Possible
You're the breeze, the breeze on a hot summer's day
The breeze that eases the day, and makes it all possible
The breeze that makes it easy to handle the day until it is over
The sun rise, which brings in the new light each day
With encouragements and hopefulness
The sun set, that slowly brings everything to a closer
Knowing and understanding that there's always one more day

Should I follow my heart or my head?
Which one is true, and which one is only the illusion of trueness?
I want to scream, but have no voice left within me.
Cry, but the tears are all washed away and nothing is left.
The ach within the heart is more painful then any other.
Which one do I follow, the heart or the head?

Learn to follow your heart.
Learn to ease the pain of an aching heart.
Learn to be ok with what life throws at you.
Learn to enjoy the roller coaster of life.
Learn to laugh and smile.
Learn to allow the tears come when they will.
Learn to accept the thing you can not change.
Learn to forgive and mean it.
Learn to understand the pain you bare in life.
Learn to know its OK to have help
Learn to except the help your given
Learn to know that you’re not alone in life.
Learn to remember people care about you.
Learn to love uncontrollably.

Who is?

By Leah Kanoff
Woodstock Union High School, Grade 9

Life is uncertain, we often wonder what we're doing here anyway, right?
And some of us wonder this:
Who is brave enough to break the walls around me?
Who cares enough to even try?
And who loves enough to see the truth behind my eyes?

Simply Becuase
~Written to the one whose helped make a difference in my life~
With love forever Leah

Each day brings something new
Each step of the way there's always someone there for you
To pick you up, to cheer you on, to laugh and cry
To help you every step of the way
Simply becasue we know the truth, we're all alone in the world
But everyone has someone to help them on their way

Winding Road

You look out side, nothing is different, but nothings the same.
You try to figure what is still the same and what has changed.
Is it the leaves on the tress’s, is it the color of the sky, or maybe just maybe you notice
It’s not the world that has changed vary much it you’ve that’s changed.
You’ve been riding on this road all your life, not know when and where you’re going to have to turn.
Where the hills come on the road, and where they slope down?
How long is this road? This winding road?
When will it stop?
And when will you go?
Where will you travel and will you ever know?
On this long long winding road?

Confusion

Written by Leah Kanoff
Woodstock Union High School, Grade 9

Broken hearts, shattered glass and shedding tears
The truth is but a mystery
Frozen from the pain, but heart still beating
As the mind tosses and turns from yes to no
Why and how come?
Right to wrong
And when and how?
Will the answers come?
Will the mystery UN solve?
Will the truth ever be known?
One can only hope the sun will come
To melt the frozen pain
To ease the beauty of the racing heart
To warm the one of the shattering broken heart
Whose tears help melt the frozen pain
And ease the mystery of truth and wonder

Reasons and Wonder
Written for the ones who make a difference
ByLeah

When life throws at you a thousand reasons to cry, show them there is a million reasons to smile.
Try as you might you can’t always fight for the answers; the answers will come…sometime. Until they do, remember to sit and breathe.
When you feel like the earth below your feet crumble and you’re left to hang on by the rope of life, heaven forbid hang on to the rope to the very end.
The people you meet in your life have an important impact no matter how good or bad, big or small.
Never regret the past. For it was a learning experience. Learn to accept the things you can not change, for those are the most important things you are grateful for.
Believe you can find the knowledge and courage to change the tings you can.
“Who is brave enough to break the walls around you?”….You are, and the ones who care and love you. “Who cares enough to even try? And who loves enough to see the truth behind you’re eyes?” The truth is if you are taking the time to relate, you love yourself to see the own truth and can handle it. The ones who care and love you probably see the truth, some know what to do, and others may see it but want to avoid it, hoping it will just go away.
Focus on yourself, stay tuned to the ones who care and want to help, and don’t give up on those who may not know what to do, for even though they may not know what to do, they care by listening to what you have to share.
Don’t fight back the tears from shedding, try not to shy away from sharing what you really want to say, and try to not fall into the path of avoidance and self doubt.
The answers and words of advice are easier to give, harder to use, important to believe, but wiser to use.