Alone

My eyes open to the darkness that lays around me. I get up and rub my forehead. Gone... All gone. All of it. I look around my once happy, smiling, alive family. Now all there is, are the corpses of what once was my life. My family... Gone. Dead. Not coming back. I pick myself up and look around. Sirens blare in my ears as I cover my ears and squat to the ground. My vision blurry with tears. Red and blue lights pierce at the corner of the darkness. Help... They can't help. They can't bring my family back. They don't know what true loneliness is like. My house burned to the ground, my family gone to the heavens, and the very seems of my heart are bursting. A race horse is pounding inside of my chest. Sudenly filled with an unholy rage. Who ever did this must pay. They must. An inisent family. Why me? Why? Thats the very question that runs through my mind. I sprint away from the rubble of my house and run farther into the darkness. Embracing it as we become one. Why did God leave me alone? Why did he take every thing away from me? No, I was a coward then. Now I feel I can take on anything that comes my way. I can. I will. I am. I stop mid-step and look around. This isn't me. What am I doing? I turn around to the blue and red lights of the police. A single tear streams down my face. Goodbye. I love you.

I feel so alone. 

It’s creeping in on me.

Creeping through the cracks in my head, heart and body.

It’s consumed me.

I’m alone with myself.

So am I truly alone? Read more »

How did this happen to me? I put my face in my hands and just cry. I'm always used to keeping all of my emotions all bottled up inside of me, but not today. I just break down. I can't take it anymore. It's like one second you were here, and the next you were gone. No goodbye, not one last smile, not one last hug, nothing. A peice of me is missing, and a smile hasn't come across my face since you left. I can't find it in myself to smile, not without you. People tell me that "they know what im going through." But, the truth is, they don't. They don't feel the knives stabbing in my heart, or the feeling I get in my stomach every time I hear your name. No one understands. Im alone and no one can save me. How did this happen to me?

That day I felt like I wanted to have time alone and needed to be away from home. I wandered absentmindedly down the road and drifted into the woods. I entered a circle of trees and sat on a small stump covered in white. The ground was frozen and blanketed with shining powder. Branches rose up and formed a dome like a cathedral. Logs made rows of benches. The sun shone between the trees, its light became the scenes from stained glass windows. I turned and looked at the stories of angels and gods and wondered for the first time, if all those myths were true. I sat in silence that seemed to last forever.

A cold breeze touched my neck, giving me the feeling someone was there. I slowly got up and walked toward the altar. I stepped onto the velvet carpet and looked up at the statues that towered above me. The rays of the sun were sinking behind the trees. I realized I had been there a long time. Reluctantly, I said goodbye to this wondrous place and made a promise to return.

I stood at the window

watching the red tail lights disappear

I stand there by the window, Read more »

I stand at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. I press my hand up against the cool glass, as icy condensation trickles down my arm and diminishes any sense of comfort  that there might have been. My legs feel weak beneath me. Lights. Red. Alone. Gone. I’m alone. I crumple to the dust covered floor of the musty room, and cry.

That night I was left alone

“I stood at the window watching the red tail lights disappear and knew that for the first time in my life I was completely and totally alone for more then ten minutes. My parents had to leave for a business trip that would last them all weekend and they had trusted me to stay home alone. As I turned to go back into the house I thought I saw a figure slithering through the trees but then it was gone so I told myself I was just seeing things and decided to ignore it. Once I got back inside I called my friends to tell them that the coast was clear to come over and help set up for the party that was scheduled for that night.

I didn’t become concerned until I was standing by the window looking for my friends, who by the way should have already been at my house, when I saw my friend Kate’s car parked about halfway up my drive-way with the driver side door open. The worst part is that their was not Kate to be seen. I tried to call her cell and it went straight to voicemail! That’s when I got the text from Alyssa, my other friend, that Kate had given her a ride. This meant that both of my friends were missing and I still had to set up for the party. After this I realized that I needed to go look for my friends even though I hated the woods. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear…

And in that moment, I actually took a second to ponder the cliché stories and poems that revolved around the line. The car driving away didn't receive a second thought, empty to me, even though it served as a getaway vehicle for my motivation.

Bored, I turned away from the window, back to my desk. Well, actually back to my entire house, which was, at the time, a studio apartment. My window was my procrastination tool. That night, I could watch red and white lights in the dark, buzzing from point A to point B, leaving me behind so that I could be the person to think about finality, solitude, etc. I could've procrastinated further and written that same old poem, that same old story. Maybe it would've started with that line about fading red lights, but what would be the point? Just to emphasize the flatness of an overwritten theme? Why do people write the same thing over again anyway? Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. Her car was packed full of all her bags and belonging, never to return. I don’t know where to go from here. My love has left me. It seemed that everything was fine. What had happened? What did I do? We were together for five years and we were happy through all five. At least, I was happy. What should I have done better? Should I call her to make things better? Should I sit here and let her think it through? Will I see her ever again? I am lost without a map. She was my life and now my life is gone.

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. I shrugged the duffel bag off of my shoulder and set it down gently, taking a moment to admire in the lavish office. Thick red carpets made my footsteps silent and paintings worth more than my life adorned the walls like children's drawing on a fridge. And this was only the office! I shook my head. This was it. Time to get to work. I turned on the balls of my feet, and crouched before the squat, thick safe. I had been cracking safes for years, ever since I was in high school, but I had never imagined I would actually steal. But that was then. And this was now.
The man with the fancy cane and snake-like smile had promised to make my debts disappear if I did this for him. I don't know how he knew about me or my talents, but the thought of starting fresh again, no student loans or credit card debt, was too much to pass up.
My fingers began to work with the dial, my ear pressed against the cold metal. The tumblers clacked and rumbled. The little gears were speaking softly in their elusive tongue. I understood every word, pausing and turning the dial to their whim.
A loud clack echoed through my head. I pulled away slowly, stunned. Had I really done it? And so quickly? The lock must have been a simple one.
A sinking feeling came over me. Why was this so easy? A family as wealthy as this should be able to afford a far more sophisticated lock. Either they were very stupid or very cocky. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red taillights disappear. The glowing eyes eventually blinked out into the darkness, leaving me feeling more blind than ever. I rested my forehead against the glass, convincing myself that I enjoyed the cool surface under my red and frustrated skin. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Once. Twice. Unexpectedly, a lump of emotion made its way into my throat I swallowed convulsively, forcing it back down.

I opened my eyes again, afraid that they’d sting with unshed tears. They didn’t. Looking back out the window, all I could see is the is darkness and a reflection of myself, made deformed and elongated in the foggy glass. distantly, I wondered if it was the real me trying to get back inside the house. Is this what my family sees? A monster, hiding alone in the mountains, so that she never has to see an outsider again?

I tilted my head to one side, even as my forehead stayed pressed against the window. I heard the strains of Sinatra make it’s way down the hall to to my room.

And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain... Read more »

            I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. They bend around the curve of the road and they’re gone, hidden by the woods. The rain drips down and splashes in puddles. I shudder back to the real world and out of my deep thought. I sulk back to my room, down the long corridor. Each step feels worse than the last. Those words my doctor last said to my parents before he left still rang in my ears, “I’m sorry, but your son’s condition has gotten worse. He may not live to see his next birthday...” My parents didn’t know I was standing in the next room listening to their conversation through the doorway. I wondered if they would tell me. If they did, I would have to act like that was the first time I had heard the news. The doctor must know what he’s talking about. He has all of these awards in his office in the oncology ward of the St. Peter’s Hospital. I needed to lie down. My head was spinning and I couldn’t blame that on the cancer, could I? Read more »

“I stood at the window, watching
the red tail lights disappear.”

I wish it had been that graceful. I
wish I had just… y’know, left. I wish I hadn’t glanced in the
rear view mirrors as I rounded the turn. I wish I hadn’t only
gotten five miles before needing to stop and contaminate half a box
of tissues. I wish I had gotten on the highway and drove fifteen
miles over the speed limit in my own direction. I wish I had been
sure.

Lying takes a lot out of a girl. Lying
to someone you love kills parts of you that you didn’t know
existed. Lying to someone who loves you kills other parts. And lying
to someone you love, who loves you, and telling them you don’t
pretty much takes the cake for insides-killing.

If only I had been two years older and
one hundred and thirty-two and a half deals younger. If only I didn’t
have an addiction to adrenaline that only comes on the run. If only I
had been someone else with someone else. If only leaving were easier.

I knew two people in the entire world I
could trust with my life: Me. And my mother.

She knew two people in the entire world
that she could trust: Herself. And me. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear... I inhaled every detail: The clouds, the mist, and whistle of solemn palm leaves. The creaks of the floorboard echoed quietly in the empty house. I watched from my window as every last person gathered their belongings and their young and fled in their rumbling trucks and vans. That noise used to jolt my spirit awake like lightning on water. I remember sitting at his feet as he watched the old television, images of lightning, floods and levies flickering and lighting up our house. Perhaps we will be able to do that when he gets home. I turned back to the window, my thoughts clouded in a heavy mist. He should be back soon. Now, it was just the storm and I. I was alone. The rumble of distant thunder sliced through the angry night. The wind began to scream and cry, and I could almost see his face in the clouds, raging and frowning upon me. Why had he left me? Didn’t he know I was here? Did he want me around? I curled into a tiny ball as a light mist grew into a pounding rain. He didn’t hear my howl over the hissing and groaning and snapping of the trees. Perhaps he had forgotten me. I curled into a ball again and shut my eyes, letting the thunder and rain wash my thoughts away. My master was gone, and I was free. The last of the red lights faded into the rain. It was only the storm and I...

“I’m so sorry Stacy, but I know it’s going to be alright.” I told my best friend Stacy as she cried about her fight with her mom last night. She lives alone with her mother and she doesn’t have contact with her dad. Stacy’s really very mature for her age because her mom is more like her best friend than a parent. They talk about everything together and she probably tells her more about her life than she tells me. Her mom and her boyfriend went to a very fancy restaurant downtown last night for their 2 year anniversary. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. They left me here. Alone. They left me here. Without anyone or anything to watch over me. The tail lights emitted a dim red glow that was strange and distant. A glow that wouldn’t be strange in any other circumstance. I had a loneliness inside of me that couldn’t be cured, it was an emptiness that seemed would stay there forever, they wouldn’t be coming back. I turned a few lights on within the house. You would think that would make me feel better. But the lights were dull and eerie and just added to the loneliness that was already inside of me. Just the feeling of being alone and abandoned made me feel sick. It seemed I would never get out of this mess I was in. The mess that was the result of one wrong decision. But I would. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. They left me here. Alone. They left me here. Without anyone or anything to watch over me. The tail lights emitted a dim red glow that was strange and distant. A glow that wouldn’t be strange in any other circumstance. I had a loneliness inside of me that couldn’t be cured, it was an emptiness that seemed would stay there forever, they wouldn’t be coming back. I turned a few lights on within the house. You would think that would make me feel better. But the lights were dull and eerie and just added to the loneliness that was already inside of me. Just the feeling of being alone and abandoned made me feel sick. It seemed I would never get out of this mess I was in. The mess that was the result of one wrong decision. But I would. Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. I lost my loved one that day. My future was now bare. For he had gone away and left me and my broken heart alone. I wept with sorrow for I loved him so much. I had been left in the outside world.So cruel and unforgiving. The wind was blowing me powerfully away for I had nothing left to live for. The rain pounded hard against my whole body. I didn't care for I had been numb from the heartbreak he had caused me. All my strength had left my weak lifeless body. I thought we would be married soon.A nice one to. Alas it wasn't meant to be. I came to realize that I had just lost the love of my life that had been with me since high school.I lost him over over a stupid fight we had. I questioned why we were so mad at eachother suddenly.Was it because of something I did or was it something else?We had talked to each other like we never did before.We screamed and yelled about why we were so different taste,style everything. I thought I would've never been happy ever again. The memory was so terrible. It was unforgettable the sight and the smell from the outside world it was so gross. I had never felt so sad in my life we had been so happy and good together. That day was permanently etched into my mind. As I fell back into reality everything just came pouring out. Everything I had always wanted to know had just come out in one burst of power. After I had finished my soul just couldn't bare it anymore it broke and I had left this cruel unforgiving earth forever. Read more »

I stood at the  window and watched the red tail lights dissapear,that was when I realized we had been broken into.  At first I dident know what to do,I was alone,my parents were out as usaul and I was scared.  All the valuble stuff from the house was GONE.  My father told me before they left to "lock the door because this town aint what it used to be."  He was right,but did i listen?  No....  And I still kick my self for not listening.  Every little piece of my lifegone and in a criminals hand now.  I think why did I not hear them but I cant seem to figure that one out.  When my parents got home that night they were devistated and called the police,a few hours later the police found the old truck filled with our stuff broken down and abondon a mile down the road.  My father said "if them theifs lay one foot on my property again there history."

Alone , i was alone. Standig by the window, watching the red tail
lights, getting smaller and smaller, untill they just dissipierd, down
the lane. Playing that same vision in my head over and over again. well
be home in 10 minutes said mom. No, no thought for the 60th time. I
heard a creak, a lound bang, then a beeeepppp, i jumped. It was the
microwave, i had set a timer on the microwave to see how long thevey
been gone, but i had accidently set it to cook some thing when there was
nothing in it. Officialy 3 hours since thevye been gone, i stared at my
reflection in the microwave, seeing my stormy blue eyes fill with
sorow, hatred,and more sorrow. Through the microwave door i sawe the
reflection of the window, through  the window i saw a car, with red tail
lights, was it pulling it the drive way, or out? Just another vision i
thought, but when i turned around, i heard the car door slam shut and a
bep bep, as it did i jumped, i ran to the other side of the wall. i
breathed hevily, just enough time for the, the, the, human? To get out
of the car, my bike acciddently hit the light switch, i didnt want to
look out the window, but i did, it wasnt moms subaru, it was a mimi van.
i didnt see movement in the van, i turned around quickly beacuse the
light went off. Had my back turned it off again? When i turned around,
isaw something i could never explain, no, not in a million years, it Read more »

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. The sparkling snow falling down ever so silently. It was mid December, and I don’t think it could have gotten colder. I sighed, and walked over to the ragged old brown leather couch in the corner of the crowded room. My frail arm reached over, and grabbed the TV remote, proceeding to turn on the TV like always.

I leaned back into the chair, and made myself comfortable. I thought about today, how the neighborhood kids played outside in the banks of snow. How people, bundled up in colorful coats and scarves, walked up and down the block. How the park across the street, once filled with laughter and smiles, now showed nothing but snowy metal bars and swings, long ago abandoned. Darkness falls on everything in Oakwood. It’s known for its forgotten dreams.

I only wish time could speed up and take me away from this saddened town. To the first-time viewers, this town is pleasant and quaint. Many people want to build vacation homes here. As if this town is some kind of paradise. But us, the ones whom have lived here forever, we know how untrue that is.

I stood at the window, watching the red tail lights disappear. From the quietness of the attic you could hear the dirt crunch under the car as it pulls away. I turned away from the window only when the trees that framed our long driveway hid the car when it turned the corner. The attic was void of colors. The dolls I played with had black hair and white or gray dresses. The wallpaper, which should’ve been replaced years before we moved in, had various odd unexplainable stains on its floral print. I place my hand on the bronze doorknob, not having the will to open it just yet. Only for I know when I open it, the only thing that awaits is me, alone.

Troy School

    When you know there is nothing, absolutely nothing, you could possibly do to help  the situation.
    Your heart feels broken, and the pieces are missing. Helpless and hopeless.
    You don’t know when to keep pushing, or step back and watch while you wait. Words mean nothing, speechless.
    You can feel their hurt but what you feel alone is that amplified by double or maybe triple. Read more »

Alone Prompt

I stood at the window, watching the red taillights disappear into the inky blackness of the night. I waited, hoping that suddenly I would see the bright whites of the car rushing back down the dead –end road, but as they turned the corner far, far away, I knew that would be the last time I ever saw her.

I slowly turned around, to face my almost empty house. Now that all the big boxes of clothing and furniture were gone, the house seemed too big, too lonely. I walked away from the front window, towards the dining room, where I expected the other occupant of the house to be.

As I shuffled my way down the long hall, my thoughts started to overwhelm me, and brought me to my knees.

You’re gone. You’ve actually left me, and I’ll never see you again. I can’t make amends for what happened, I can’t just say ‘I’m sorry,’ anymore. I wish I could. I truly loved you, you know. I messed up once, but I’m not going to be able to fix it. I’m sorry.

Darkness began to close around me, as my tears streamed down my face, and I slumped towards the ground even farther. I sobbed openly for the first time in what must have been 15 years. I couldn’t even see the wall in front of me I was crying so hard.

Dear, I only got drunk once, it was only once that I messed up. Why couldn’t you let me screw up, why did I have to be perfect? You do realize that perfection is impossible, and whoever you’re going out with now will not be perfect either. Right? Read more »

Hey heart was empty

but it was so heavy

as if her loneliness weighed a million pounds. 

It hindered her breathing 

and left her uncomfortable 

while her eyes fought back tears.  Read more »

Kyanna King

Mrs.Zettler Class

Core 2 9-18-12 Read more »

she has this obsession, this unwavering desire
to become so paper-thin that her skin is just a thin layer stretched
across her brittle bones
because she wants to be as breakable on the outside
as she is on the inside
and she wants to be beautifully paper-thin like the girls that
seem to have everything tucked into the small back pocket
on their size 00 jean shorts.

she wants to be like the girls in their bikinis
that stretch out their beautifully thin bodies across
warm sand on california beaches with eyes closed, pretending
that they don't notice the gaze of the teenaged boys walking by
because she isn't noticed by anyone but her best friend who isn't even real,
just a figment of her imagination that never faded away
when she reached high school and realized that nobody wanted
to be friends with the fat girl.

and look at her now, look at her brittle bones and skin stretched
paper-thin across them as she starves herself for that perfect image
in her mind that, to her, is
perfection.

i don't know where to start because it seems like very corner of my mind is folding in on itself at once, each point shouting 'pick me! pick me!' no. i will not choose you, who is always on the front lines. you will wait for your turn. and it will never. ever. happen.

i try to time it so that the cars passing by reach the puddles on the side of the road before me. it always happens so that we pass by on either side of the water at the same time. most of it ends up on me. drenching me. freezing me. soiling me.

i feel the need to scream. i was instructed to scream instead of sing, after all. it helps get a point across. to myself, and anyone else unlucky enough to have me pass in front of their house on my trek across town.

people look at my feet with pity. i carry my shoes in my left hand. ipod, phone, and keys in my right pocket. sanity floating about me. misery at bay. they stare wide-eyed as i sidestep the worms washing up on the sidewalk. they shake their heads as they imagine me scraping up the bottoms of my wrinkled feet.

'is she crying? or laughing?' a bit of both, i suppose. crying because it's just one of those days. laughing because it gives me an excuse to let a few tears loose. everyone in the school watches me, listens to my heaving and sobbing that i hide behind a rabid smile, and eventually my polo shirt. a few tears come from the outside edge of my eye, signalling to the students sitting next to me that the tears are joyful. most of them come from the inside crease of my eye. if anyone could bring themselves to really look at me they would know i was upset. Read more »

It is not because

I felt worthless.

It is because

I felt scared.

I was afraid to check

my email when I got home,

because I didn’t know

if you had sent me another message.

I was afraid to walk

into the school every morning,

because I didn’t know if you

would come up to me.

It is not because

I felt worthless.

It is because

I felt alone.

You were my friend,

but that has changed.

It is because I was hurting

and no one saw,

I didn’t think anyone noticed.

It is because

I thought it would all just…go away.