Lytel Þings

Kids:

Stop.
Stop playing tag in a library

This is a library:
Derived from the word liber for "book",
Not currere for "run"

You don't run in a library -
Don't run in a library

There are people trying to work;
They're trying to work and you're running.
You're loud,
And obnoxious,
And kids.

Kids play outside -
Go play outside, kids.

Stop playing tag in the library.

If I told you:
"I didn't do your homework
Because her's is more important"

What would you say?

"I had a breakdown last night,"
Is the truth
And I don't think
It will hurt you,

Unlike, "her's is more important".

This really weird thing happened to me at the library today while I was working: I started to feel really hot and sweaty, then I started to FEEL like I was shaking (but I could see that I wasn't). My eyes blurred up and then I blacked out, making me drop a book which woke me from whatever state I was in. It was pretty creepy 'cause I wasn't dehydrated or anything...

Anyone know what's wrong with me?

What I wouldn't give
To hold you right now.
For your arms
To be wrapped around me.

Everything would just melt away

Every stupid issue
Every ridiculous doubt.
It would all just
Go away.

I know it would

Is it worth it?
All this conflict
It's just wearing me down
I don't want to do this anymore
I'm sick and tired of it
There's no point
It's not worth it.

Who am I kidding?
I'm never going to do anymore of this tonight
Why can't I ever stick to something?
Why can't I ever stay strong enough to complete all of my homework the day before it's due?

What is it that makes me so useless?

I want to scream at you
I want to tell you how I really feel
I want to make you listen
I want to ask those questions
But
I can't

Our "failed" attempts force me to grin as I come to the conclusion that I'm as inexperienced as you are - that doesn't bother me.

The thought of your soft, warm lips pressed against mine lets loose trillions of tummy butterflies.

The scribbling on the chalk board resounded like Morse Code across the shuddering sea of students.

i. Jupiter's scepter must have been an awesome cattle-prod.
ii. I hate that my thoughts don't make sense.
iii. You are the most amazing man I have ever met that's actually my age.
iv. These plans turn me into a goddess (don't you say anything, Mister.)

Away from you
This is the best I'll ever feel
How can you want me?
I wonder who you were supposed to get...
At the thought of seeing you
My heart races
My hands yearn for their companions
I want you near
What kind of cruel world is this?
Providing people with banquets
They can't taste but once a week

I don't mind the hunger though
I know that those few hours
Will completely fill me

Why aren't you here?
Why am I not there?
Why aren't we cuddling?
Why do I feel so alone?
How can night turn to day
If I still can't see my sky?
How can our blood keep pumping
If we're not pulsing with our hands?
How can I smile willingly
If you're not here beside me?
How can I be happy
If we're so far apart?

The slashes on my wrists are from the blackberry bushes
The pinpricks on my fingertips are from the thorns
The blood on my lips is from the delicious fruit
The bruises on my face are berry stains

My hands long for yours
They search blindly
Fumbling over each other
Knowing they're not yours
Because mine aren't as soft
And mine won't tingle

They don't feel without you

Your hands are softer than mine
Your face is cuter than mine
Your eyes are better than mine
Your voice is lovelier than min
Your body is stronger than mine
Your mind is smarter than mine

You are more than I

i. I have never felt so content, so quixotic, so ineffable until now.
ii. I've never felt this with anyone else before - you must be special.
iii. I don't think I've ever hated an inanimate object so much as I hated my pillow for not being you last night.

Our hands connected
The first time
Relief

Our thumbs rubbed
The unconcious reaction
Comfort

Or fingers squeezed
The reinforcing action
Glee

Our heads bent
The relaxed love
Quixotism

The periods are supposed to be spaces but it won't do it with spaces so...

I wonder if you noticed how it felt
.Holding hands
Ineffable

I love the secure grip of your hand in mine
.Or mine in yours
Indescribable

I want your head and mine together
.Forever
Indefinable

I need your thumb stroking mine
.Endlessly
Inexpressable

I love you

i. I could study people for hours.
ii. As of now, I am eager to teach this punk a leasson in learning to listen.
iii. You guys are indubitably my people.
iv. The tears coming to my eyes are a sure sign of dementia.
v. You having a life outside of school seems like such a far-fetched idea.
vi. If you could just shut up, I think I could stand you.
vii. "Eat the muffin; Taste the muffin; Remember the muffin." -Izzie
viii. "Teach with enthusiasm; Learn with enthusiasm." -Richard
ix. "Mistakes are how you learn." -Hunt
x. "Life's too short to live any other way." -Sloan

xi. "They're my family. They're who I have. You and them." -Meridith

i. "Is there are time for keeping your distance? A time to turn your eyes away? Is there a time for keeping your head down? For getting on with your day?" -U2
ii. I've missed the you that used to sit with me every morning and talk.
iii. With your childish grin and excited eyes, you told me that everything would be alright.
iv. I question how any sensible human could ever let their hair dangle in such an unruly fashion.
v. "...started as a sketch in my notebook..." -Rage Against the Machine
vi. The formality I'm imposing on myself makes me sick.
vii. I blame myself for your discontent; if only I could hold you.
viii. Where am I when you need me?
ix. I'm not doing everything in my power to be there for you and I hate that.
x. If I could get there, this would all go away.
xi. The comfort i can provide from here is nothing compared to my potential.

i. The date's relief washes over me like a warm shower, relaxing my tense muscles.
ii. The fear created energy but now that the energy is gone, the fear is a raw element lodged in my stomach, like a red-hot rock burning to get out.
iii. No matter how much I read into this, it's not going to change.
iv. Like a street ball player should familiarize himself with the dips in the court, I want to familiarize myself with the arrangement of chairs but this is not a game.
v. "I do not pretend to understand these feelings." -Grendel; John Gardner
vi. "Religion is sick." -Grendel; John Gardner
vii. "The ultimate evil is that Time is perpetual perishing..." -Grendel; John Gardner
viii. The familiarity of your blue eyes cooled the fire and me remember who we are.
ix. I love the trickle of your voice babbling over the phone as it washes over me.

i. I went to bed thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it, and I'm still thinking about it - it's everywhere.
ii. The ticking of the clock seems to constant reminder of how much time there is between here and there.
iii. Blind prophets indicate that you don't need eyes to see.
iv. If time turners could speed time up...
v. I can talk to you because you won't get distracted with other things.
vi. "I'm not leaving." -Kill the Alarm
vii. "Some may say I've got it wrong; well at least I've got something." -Kill the Alarm
viii. "Get up and start living" -Kill the Alarm
ix. "There have got to be stabler things than love." -Grendel; John Gardner
x. The timing of buying this journal and the recent events - impeccable.
xi. "Shall I call the tree tyrannical, since where it stands nothing survives but itself and its high-borne guests?" -Grendel; John Gardner

i. "When ignorance reigns, life is lost." -Rage Against the Machine
ii. "'Cause I know the power of the question." -Rage Against the Machine
iii. I will no longer e-mail things that could be misinterpreted.
iv. Algebra or writing - is there a question?
v. Homecoming fireworks boom as I sit here trying to do homework.
vi. "Wake up!" -Rage Against the Machine
vii. If people burned a crapload of money, what would that do to the economy?
viii. "The circle of hatred continues until we react." -Rage Against the Machine
ix. You're going to get killed by the internet and then we'll never have said "Goodnight".

This is for my Early British Lit. class. The assignment is to write from another character's perspective from Beowulf and I've choosen to write from the dragon's (it doesn't have to be in epic, poetical form but, because I'm so awesome, I've choosen to do so).

I sing of arms and a dragon
Who came to Geatish mountains
From untold lands - greatly aided
In flight and in navigation
By the bestial deities,
Having pity for its lost family
During that great war of fiends,
And of how that gallant beast
Maimed unworthy Beowulf,
Yet was unfairly finished off
By another member of the human race;
The dragon itself whose hoards
Of gold and jewels and riches unknown,
Nobly guarded for centuries,
Were unjustly swindled
By the Geats, mere mortals.

Oh Muse! Relate to me the causes
By which the lesser gods,
On each side of mortality fought,
And by which the Valiant fell
Thus enabling the death
Of such a great hero,
By which deeds offended Him,
The greatest of gods,

I would love to ask for forgiveness
I would love to confess my sins
I would love to tell you what I really feel

I would love to hear a response

i. So, perhaps this situation isn't as horrible as I made it out to be.
ii. Oh! how the tides have turned.
iii. I seem to be the only one who could relate at all to what you said.
iv. "Change is inevitable Growth is optional" -Bumper Sticker
v. Why do you sit there listening to my pain - what do you get out of this?

These are mostly quotes that I've written down (they'll be in bold if they're not mine)

i. "The world is all pointless accident." -Grendel; John Gardner
ii. I love that you stole your dad's clothes as a kid.
iii. "...knowledge is not cause." -Grendel; John Gardner
iv. "...even then I do not change the future, I merely do what I saw from the beginning... So much for free will and intercession!" -Grendel; John Gardner
v. Of course, that one little sentence erased all of my concern and made me feel horrible for ever thinking otherwise.

i. I just want to write what I feel and not have bad things happen.
ii. This class was hardly bearable before you got here - now, I can't stand it.
iii. My eyes fogged up in remembrance of the past.
iv. Don't be pissed at me - it's not my problem.
v. That you provided me with a place to let loose is 'phenomenal'.
vi. I can't remember the exact reason that I accepted you but I think it was the day you stuck your tongue out at me.
vii. "I'm so sick." -Flyleaf
viii. "C'mon, take my hand and follow." -Anarchy Club
ix. I feel like I should help them but...
x. How can people be so stupid? That's NOT how you clean a floor, you dumb, stoned kid.
xi. No, you're not embarassing me - you're reminding me that we're all human.

That's why I didn't hear from you all summer

********************************************

Awkward
Again
It's getting easier
But I still don't like it

You're there to talk to
You're invested
Sincere

I thank you
I am who I am
Because of you
At least partly

Like it or not
We're so similar
It's like there is a time-turner
And I'm looking at me
But I've been confunded
And don't realize who you really are

I can only hope
That someday
I'll wind up like you

Skilled
Perceptive
Caring
Self-less

I can only hope

*hopes*