reflection

I know what you feel

Deep down inside

 Where you think it's safe

Where  you think you can hide

You're scared of what you may become

The insecurity you feel makes you numb

You look in the mirror only to see

That you've become everything you said you'd never be

You hide the scars

Act like they aren't there

You know those feelings hurt

But you pretend not to care

You say you're okay

And everything is fine

But I can see that you're slowly dying inside

The past that haunts you

Won't let you be

You sit there as you beg and plead

For the memories that destroy you to just go away

You don't forget

But remember them to this day

You give God a call

But he doesn't answer the phone

And like always you feel alone

Constantly you feel the pain of your heart being shattered

And you wonder if you ever really mattered

Smile at the mirror

Trying to lie to yourself

Everyone knows you need it

But you'll never ask for help

You built up a wall without a door

You don't let people get close

Fearing they may see where your deep feelings are stored

You hate the life that you've been given

But your friends and family make this life worth living

It took you this long

To figure out that hiding your feelings

Doesn't make you strong

It tears you apart

Not just at the end

But from the start

You pretend not to care Read more »

What happened?

Nothing, to be precise.

Was it me?

It was you. It was her. It was a lot of things, all mishmashed together to create some convulted mess that not even a psychologist could make heads or tails of.

Was it something I did?

Of course. It was everything you did. All the right, all the wrong. All of it.

Did I give the wrong look, speak the wrong words, wear the wrong clothes?

It was all of those, and none of them. You could have done it all right and still lost.

Was I clean enough? Did I talk too often? Too little? Did we spend enough time together?

You talked too much, and you talked too little. You spoke at all the right times, and all the wrong ones. You were well dressed, but at the same time you could have done more. As for time, well, we could all use some more of that.

Was I there too often? Was I not there enough?

You were invasive, but at times gave her space. You were a protector, but at times a bystander.

Why him? What did he do that I didn't? Read more »

do you ever stand tall in a crowd of people?... so many people

that your brain turns and your eyes spin in circles but somehow

you always end up feeling...

alone

I want to live in the city. I want to look out my window at daybreak

at those bright beams of light

and to be reminded 

of the life I've wanted to live since I was 7. 

A lucky world full of chance and opportunity

A reclusive apartment full of life and color.

And every day when I walk to work

I will be surrounded by strangers.

Some I will pass more than once.

And every day I will ignore them all

and walk to my job with purpose

And every day when I return home

I will reminisce in the beauty

I'm surrounded by. But every night

when I lay alone in my bed

waiting for someone to say 

goodnight.

I will long for something

Something I've been missing since

...I was 7.

I cannot wait for tomorrow. 

Anyone else with me?

Anyone else know the feeling

you get, when

you can't wait to see someone,

you can't wait to be somewhere?

The endless,

endless possibilities.

Your 

one 

true 

bliss.

Darkness.

I reach for the light switch,

but I know it won't work.

Just a habit.

And then 

I wonder:

What will happen tomorrow?

I get halfway through the piece I'm writing

and realize that what I'm writing doesn't

represent my situation at all. It doesn't

even represent reality. It's filled with

sugar-coating and lies. And it's definitely

not what I want other people reading. It

doesn't represent me. So, I trash it, only to 

try out another idea. 

I didn’t know it was important. The day was just like any other. It flew by, a dandelion seed riding the wind. I didn’t think anything of it. Years later, once I learned what it meant, I was able to pull it out of the depths of my memory. Why can’t I do that with, say, a pleasant memory? I always remember the bad memories, never the good ones.

I was 4.

The memory is

Scattered . . .

Foggy . . .

The outlines of figures and shapes are

Blurred. Read more »

The earthquakes in Chili and Haiti make me wonder what I would do if I was involved in an earthquake. I think I would call out to everybody in my house. Then, I would run out of the house. If no one was outside, I would run in and get them. I would make sure I was nowhere near any trees or buildings that could fall on me. If someone was trapped, I would call for help. The earth would rumble and shake violently. It would be scary!

If I was involved in an earthquake like the ones in Chili and Haiti, I would evacuate my house and go where there is open land. I would try to bring water and food. I would think about shelter. I would help my family and others if I could. I would make a plan for the days ahead. Once it was safe, I would return home and see how much damage occurred. I would check on my grandparents that live nearby. I would start to repair my house.

I love winter. As a Vermonter, I think one almost HAS to love winter to keep their sanity here. And who wouldn't love winter? Skiing, snowboarding, snowball fights, sitting inside on a cold, dreary day with a bunch of movies or a good book. But, as a writer, I particularly love winter. Something about being frozen stiff and soaking wet just starts those creative juices flowing (who coined that phrase, anyway? If creativity came as a juice, I would definitely drink some). As the days get colder and shorter, I find that I want to write more and more. Read more »

By Courtney Perry
Bellows Falls Union High School, Grade 10

Tear drop
Fall down
Stare at
The ground

Broken mirror
Wavering
Expectation
Quavering Read more »

I watch as he tucks the clothes
around his naked form,
letting material drape loosely
over his skin, and tangle with
his mind.

He loves the feel of boy-jeans and
t-shirts that
mask his curves, because
he loves to make me
look. Read more »

Now
Now is the time
You have to do it now
You know you do
You got to
Now
This is the only chance
The only chance you have
Time is being chewed up
As you just sit there
Wondering what people think of you
Instead of what you could do
The clock is ticking
You’re leaving it there
Like an unfinished test
Oh great
For now what you need to do
Is for all to see
You’re scared
You’re unprepared
You’re on the spot
So pressured
Oh, how you wish it was over
But you can dream about that later
All you do is close your eyes
And just do it
You soar through skies of possibilities
Your feelings go off like fireworks
When you open your eyes
You realized
Just how much potential you have
When you let go of all
All your inhibitions
All your thoughts
All your peers
All your broken self esteem
You
And your peers
Are astonished
You are proud
You are thankful for doing it
If you didn’t
You wouldn’t have ever
Experienced diving into Read more »

I, myself, have been to the crystal city on the water.
I have stood on the glass balcony which reflected back below.
I have traveled endless miles into the sky which this place sits,
Where the shows are the thunderclouds far down where we row,
Above the clouds where storms cease to exist.

Vaguely listening...
I don't bother to tune in
Like an ancient radio gone out of style.

I can't help but hear the worries being confessed
I can't help but feel the vibes of affection
I can't help but imagine all those sprinting droplets are someone's tears.
I can't help but smell the salt from my own.
I can't help but touch the foggy window that reflects the sky. Read more »

I stand on the balcony of Room 232 of Chiang Mai Ram hospital, staring into the warm Thai night and thinking of everything that had happened, what it would mean in the cool, distant morning. Read more »