Random

Ensure my pain
My freedom, a dream.
Ensure lying is truth
I'm betrayed, I'm being used
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Look how her gleem rusts
Look how small her frame
Look how her smile can't fade
Look how her soul concaves
Look what you're created
Proud for what?
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And the tears still stream
And the words still cut
And happiness has never been perminant
But i'll latch on if you give me hope
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Goodbye to all saviors and saints
Goodbye to the sun, the rain
Goodbye to everything you faked
Holding a drapery painted with smiles
Tricking my mind into think it's spring
When in actuality it's hell
....
She owes you tons.

She wanted attention, the thirst of perfection
So dry was her appearance after years of deprevation
Her fingers groveled to the cracked groves in her eyes
So blinded from the smooth unchanging visions of her passing reflections
So entranced with wanting to morph herself, to make them worship
For the light to shine not on her for her
For the dry skin to be washed away with silky ice water
So cold it would freeze her eyes
Perminant beauty for the world to gasp, and aw for
To stay saturated with life, unable to change no matter her lies
That this beauty she so slefishly stole from a droughting village
Was actually in exchange for her mind
Groved with imperfections, helped her banish thirst
Helped them more, to see how not to live
For without her mind, she melted, saturating the lands.

I don’t really know what to write about.
So I guess I’ll let you know that I don’t want to let you know what I want to let you know.
In the beginning there was Bob Saget. Then along came Chuck Norris. Together they were unstoppable. Each of them had their own way of being the only one between the two of them. She said she was scared. I thought it would be intimidating as well.

it is the decisions we make
that we believe to be correct
that cause us to look through windows
with hallucinatory hopes and dreams.
that, by our own fault,
will never be fulfilled.

what we could have had is what we want,
what we do have is what we dread.
and it is obvious that nothing could take us
back again to where we
were.
even though we thought it could happen.

and the memories come stampeding into
our delicate minds again.
does one ever sit and think that
situational perfection could be attained?
after all, it is simply a matter of
one’s own opinion.

and if this is based on life events,
and the road to love and wishes
should probably be the road we choose to travel.
but acceptance in society 
and what is expected of us
always gets in the way, no?

but when that path is finally out of reach,
one knows there is no way to turn around,
that is when our body aches with
regret, lust, want.
even though we could have had it.

Step 1. Open eyes. Seeing is important for future steps.
Step 2. Create future steps.
Step 3. Think about what the stages have to do with the future.
I like turtles.
Not teenage turtles, or mutant turtles, or even ninja turtles.
I especially do not like teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Prefer unicorns, I do. (speak like Yoda)
My hand is getting all hurty and stuff. (stop speaking like Yoda)
Yes I did.
No you cannot read it yet. This is not what I signed up for.
I was prepared for fluffy chainsaw’s and exotic basketball hoops.
You’re so random!
OOH!! A fish just drove by! You missed it, though.
I wonder if it’s going humaning. I don’t know dude!
The surfboard says to go straight, but I don’t know… I don’t know.
My doctor says I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape….
I told him not to send me a bill until I pay him.
Pizza bologna hot sauce elephant shoes disgusting randomly.
Writing the right excuse me.
SNEEZE!!! Sorry about the wait.

Your blue eyes
Still shining...

I get that
feeling that
you miss me
more than you
say...

Im sorry
I hurt you
i wish i
never did...

But what happened
had happened
and I hate it
even more than
you even know...

When i saw you
your blue eyes
they shot through
my heartwith pain...

I stared at you
hating the fact
that you aren't mine
any more....

Blank pages are sometimes boring to look at.
Other times it stirs thoughts of creativity.
So you’re looking at a blank sheet of paper.
The thoughts enter your thinking space,
Do you crumple and throw it away?
Save it for later?
Use it right now?
What would you do?

I am using this one to write to you.
How does that feel?
I am going to go play the piano.
I’ll be back soon…

That took awhile, sorry.
I’ve actually been gone for almost 7 hours.
Thanks for reading this far.
I appreciate it.

My nose itches.
On a box of cheese pizza.
I’ve been into writing a lot lately.
It’s something new that I enjoy.
Go figure.
Tears of necklaces around a broken hearts neck.
How do they exist?
How do they stay in tact?
How can it be that when one is meant to be with another, there is so much battle?
Why do some of the nicest seeming people have to be such jerks?!
I don’t know.
Who does?
I don’t think I want to know.
As much as I hate being the jerk,

Ignore this blog posting. Random musings. Or read it. Perhaps deep meaning can be revealed by my sleep deprived, sugar addled brain.

Monkey spittle.

I guess we shouldn't be getting our hopes up too high then.

I started writing this post, just now. Well, about a minute ago actually. But it was very recently. A recently that is become less recently the more I talk about it being recent. Sorry, got off track there. Anyways.

I started to write this post as a stream of consciousness in its most pure form. Pure meaning that I am typing exactly what my brain decides should be typed, without really thinking about it first. Unless it types something bad. Then I might edit it. I don't need more people to have blackmail about me. Actually, I don't think anyone has anything to blackmail me with. Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah. It isn't really a pure stream, it's a bit murky.

The Story of a Madman
By: Derrick Spalding

Put his arms around the horses neck,
And got thrown into the air,
A crowd gathered,
His landlord appeared,
And took him back up to his room
On the second floor,
Where he started to play his piano madly
And singing madly,
“I’m crucified! And inspected and resurrected!”
And if you don’t believe that,
He fell into eternal slumber that night,
Feeling happy, bold, and complete.
The landlord’s family was amazed
And sent for his friend an hour later,
He got there in three days by car.
And they took him to the ocean,
Letting him free to ride the waves,
Forever.

I wish that I was all alone so then I could see my shadow. My shadows a very shy little person. I don’t know why she is so shy she chooses to be I suppose. But when I’m alone she comes to play and figure out the mystery. When mom comes home or someone comes back, she almost always fades. But when it is you, coming to me, my shadow begins to giggle.

So Lets see....This is my thrid blog entry...I'm pretty bored but I am working on a stroy and I want to see if some one can help me. I have a bit of a problem here goes:

*tink*
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*clink*
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*scratch*
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*plop*
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*screech*
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*tick*
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*tink*
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*Boom!*
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Oops....
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Heh heh heh....
My first explosion...

And thats how I became a mad scientist....

Koosh ball
Hit the wall
Fall down
Pick it up,
Pass it around
Get it in
Try again.
Koosh Ball is funmazin’!

So I'm starting a small series where, each day, I'll pick a word from something that happens during the day and write it one my arm. I'll write up several each day. Then, I'll tell you about the origin of said words.
So.

Merimbula- Came from a conversation with Usagi. A place in southeast Australia, right on the coast. I think it's in a bay.

You know,
Raising children is hard
In all stages of their development…

Well, it’s got to be easier now that I’m the age I am…
I mean,
I bet it’s a lot less work from when I was two…

Yes,
But I worry about you going to college.
College is when I changed,
It’s when I started to do bad things.