Jun 09

Looking Forward

Today marks the almost end of 7th grade.
After tomorrow, I have 4 more days left
the way things are.
Of lunchroom conversations
that could have us "put in asylums"
or could be told in dimly lit rooms near midnight--sleeping bags.
Things I might not remember in 5, 10, 20 years--but the people I shared it with.
I won't have this exactly the same ever again.
Of classes with the people I've come to know.
The ones that raise their hands knowing the answer.
The ones raising their hands that don't.
The ones who don't raise their hands because they're afraid to get it wrong.
The ones that don't raise their hands because they're still stuck in their book.
Things I might not remember in 5, 10, 20 years--but the people I shared it with.
I won't have this exactly the same ever again.
Of band.
How I get a nervous pit in my stomach the moment I walk in.
May 27

Dock

May 14

Beginning and End--Maybe


“No, Mommy--”

“Honey, sometimes in life we have to move on. Your daddy did and I miss him every day, but it’s these things that make us stronger…” the mother's voice fades as she draws another ragged breath. Neither can stop the tears from falling.

“Ads… I will always love you, never forget that, please never forget me...” Realizing her last moments are close, the mother makes a final sacrifice, leaving her daughter with a clue to who she really is.

“If you are ever in need look to the stars…” the small girl glances up at the blurred pinpricks of light, and when she looks back her mother is gone--along with the only life she has ever known.
May 10
poem 0 comments challenge: Three

Only

All I get
is fleeting time
and stolen glances.
May 10

Three

Write a tiny poem that is three lines long. Each line has to have exactly three words, and three words only.

Ex.:

The sun was
brighter than she
had ever seen.
Apr 29

Fun facts and trivia

Did you know...?
That more men named John hold a job
as a CEO,
than all the women that hold that same position?

So afraid of the success women will have
that they aren't even hired.

Did you know...?
That more men named James hold a job
as a CEO,
than all the women that hold that same position?

Not one but two fractions of men are larger
than all of the women.

That is awful.

We aren't being fair.
That's simply what it comes down to.
We
Aren't
Being
Fair.

We are being close-minded and afraid
We are thinking from the past and not of the future
We are shunning the talent for prejudice

We gave women rights.
Rights that we are no longer honoring.

Women can't feel safe walking down the street
because what if...
A dark bedroom that they were stuffed into.

And what about the wage gap?
Apr 27

The called her...

They called her fat.
She looked at just over 110 lbs self and saw
what they wanted her to see.
Too much.
So she ate less.
Always less.
Then less.
And even less.
Her skin sagged.
And still, she saw too much.
Her clothes hung off her body, loose and baggy.
And still, she saw too much.
100 lbs. 90. 80.
Just 14 and 65 lbs.
Then came the day when her parents walked in black.
All because they called her fat.

They called her dumb.
She looked at her B's and A's and saw nothing.
Nothing but failure.
She stopped talking, raising her hand,
and started saying I don't know.
She started finding D's on her papers.
She saw what they had always seen.
Always wanted her to see.
Her grades dropped further.
She left high school.
Now she works at a gas station.
All because they called her dumb.

But then something changed.
Apr 24

Fire

 
The
            cue
                     of
                              the
                                                                                                      trombones come in deep and resonating.
I can
               feel
                                their
          authority
                                        conveyed
in the music.
I count the
                                           remaining beats.

Then
out of my
saxophone
                               comes
                 a
                              sharp
            yell.
It pierces
                            over the
deeper
notes that
Apr 24

Once upon a time

once upon a
time
i walked into school
just like
everybody else
with jitters
in their stomach
and fidgets
in their fingers
because this is
the first day of
middle school
(you need to be chill, calm, cool)

once upon a
time
i walked into lunch
just like
everybody else
i didn't know
where to sit
but i took you along
because
you i know
and you are mine
(i think...)

once upon a
time
a couple of months
went by
and now i walk
into the cafeteria
and i know where to sit
and i'm still walking in with you
because
you i know
and you are mine
(...)

once upon a
time
i learned that
not always
(but sometimes)
a wolf is dressed in
sheep's clothing

once upon a
time
i tried
to fit
and blend
in
so that
i could get to know
Apr 09

General Rant On A Certain Injustice

Sometimes,
my family asks me how schools going.
I tell them:
good.
They say that that is good.
They ask me how my friends are.
I say:
Good. (Maybe I'll share
an anecdote from lunch).
They ask me about lunch,
and sports and other things.
As usual, good--maybe a bit more.
Usually, the conversation circulates to
"who are the popular kids".

Now, this is what gets under my skin,
and though yes--the term popular 
does often riggle under there,
but that's not what I'm getting at.
The question that usually follows
from my parents
is:
So, what makes them popular?

And, I'm utterly clueless.

Sure, maybe they are extroverted.
Maybe they get along with people.
Maybe anything,
but for a real human basted,
moral value what do I come up with?

Nothing!

And that's just it...
what do we base the tiers of
Apr 09

Everyday

Smile.
Breathe.
Smile, wider.
Close my eyes.
Think.
Second guess my next words.
Think again.
Say something.
Bite tongue.
Watch reaction.
Breathe.
Laugh along.
Second guess.
Wonder why.
Breathe.
Watch.
Bite tougue.
Speak anyways.
Watch varied reactions.
Play along.
Breathe.
Feel out of place.
Watch.
Remain quiet.
Laugh.
Close my eyes.
Breathe.
Snappy one-liner.
Smile.
Maybe it's fake.
Wonder:
"Does anyone else feel this?"
Apr 08

List (Simple Pleasures)

1.
Those nights where there is no sound except for the silent tick of the clock whose hands point well past the time that you should have fallen asleep, and the steady swish of the pages of your book.

2.
Coming down at ten on a Thursday to find that the world is not brown and gray and spotted here and there with bursts of fluorescent, but a solid white-- and the smell of something baking in the oven fills the room.

3.
Smiling too big so that your mouth gets tight and cramps at a sunny cafeteria table with the greatest friends in the world and laughing over absolutely nothing that is not absolutely nothing to you and them.

4.
Singing to yourself in the shower, because the water in your ears and the too-loud music drowns out your voice, and you feel absolutely alone with the music inside you.

5.
Apr 06

A Letter To The Alphabet (Literally)

Dear Alphabet,
Thank you for always being here for me,
even if I didn't know I would need you.
I wasn't sure what to make of you when I first met you.
You had always been a mystery before then.
But, you came along all bright and bold,
and I didn't understand your antics.
You were loud and quiet,
and straight and loopy and zigzagged and curved. 
And no, I didn't fall instantly in love.
I was skeptical at first.
Convinced at the fact that I need to get to know you.
Later, through the years I talked to you a lot.
Those days when I couldn't say anything right,
you were the one who I could speak to.
You always understood me,
(even when I didn't understand myself).
You were there to help me understand.
You helped explain what I need to see.
So a thank you for that.
And of course, there were those times,
when I simply couldn't agree with you.
Apr 05

What We Are Teaching

*This was thrown together in 5 ish minutes, so it's really bad. I posted it less about the writing, and more about you reading between the lines and getting the deeper message.*