Stop, look in the mirror. Take a good long look, Do you see her? In the good old days she was clearer. Where there were no more worries, Damn I miss her. When there were no more photos for the gram Or a boy to hold your hand, Somehow I don't understand how I got here. When I had no more second thoughts And my beauty wasn't bought, When I didn't feel so flawed like I do now. But I'm turning it around, My feet are on the ground. My roots are weak but my will is strong. I'm finding my beauty from the inside out.
My boyfriend, long story short I love him. We have so stories, but this one is simple. It was late February, and I had a horrible never(I blame the stress of midterms). I could barely speak and it had been such a long day. Afterschool, he texted me saying he was going to walk down to my house. I met him outside, thinking he was crazy to walk down in the snow. He held out something to me. It was a Snapple, my favorite drink. Even in the freezing cold, I had the warmest smile on my face. Go out and do something to make someone smile. The littlest things can fill their day with an ounce of love.
All us doubt ourselves. For so long I did about everything. My biggest doubt in myself was my strength. I thought only some were born strong, able to overcome the obstacles that stood in their way. Running used to scare me. I was afraid my body would give up on me, that I wouldn't have what it takes. But running taught me the biggest lesson I have ever learned. True strength comes from your mind. There are so many things in life we can't control. There are so many situations we must battle through. When I started running, I realized I was in control. I controlled every single step I took, and I could go as far as I pushed myself. There are two pains in this world-the pain of displine and the pain of regret. My doubt had held me back too long. I had always been strong, I just never believed it before.
Looking back at this past school year, I realized something. It's not the big events that matter so much. Yes, the dances, the basketball games, those do matter. But what makes a great year are those small moments that make you smile. One of those moments for me was during my 2nd period study hall everyday. At 9:15 everday in the fall, I would ask to go to my locker on the third floor. As I climbed up the stairs, it started getting brighter with every step. Then once I reached the top I saw the beautiful sunrise through the window. It overlooked the parking lot and the baby blue sky. This was my cup of coffee. Every morning I said to myself, "Today's going to be a great day."
A window indeed, But one closed shut. Iced over in the day, While the hail beat all night. Cobwebs formed around the forgotten edges, The wood splintered and crumbled. The glass became so fogged, That no light could make it through. Darkness filled the whole area, Doubt crept in every corner. Its strength had been persecuted, Until one day it shattered. Every piece a silent scream, Bursting in an instant. This world at a standstill, Until the sun would return. When the warmth of spring arrived, The glass had been replaced. Now sparkling crystal, The sun twinkled through. The room came back to life, Sprouting a little green stem.
Busy city, Lights flicker endlessly. On and off, Off and on. Cars zoom by, Traffic always jammed. Each light a story, Most aren’t shared. All seen from a distance, But never too close. Whispers in the wind, Most you don’t hear. Trapped in a cycle, Repeats, never ends. Wake up early, Long days end tired. But I know of one light, From an apartment window. It doesn’t catch your eye, It is lost in the midst. It belongs to a girl’s window, She stays inside. Up all night, Up all morning. Growing in a city, With too much noise. She tunes it out, And grows up in a world of her own. A thousand books, A hundred paintings. Collages fill her walls, Of the dream she wants to live. She whispers to herself every night, “I will make it come true.”