Feb 15

The Stakes Were Raised

This isn’t another breakup poem,
Because we never dated. 
Because it was more than that.
It was a friend I could count on.
Someone I felt safe with.
It was someone I know would care for us,
Defend us, 

Someone that would fight for us.
He fought for us, until it was time to fight his own demons.
It was when he needed help, 
That he backed away.
It was when the truth came out, 
About how everyone felt, 
That he realized he found someone he couldn’t fight, 
Or wouldn’t fight, 
But this was the one that mattered.
This is the battle that could have changed things.
That could’ve made him happy, 
And not temporarily.

But he didn’t try, 
Because he knew the stakes were higher… 
He knew that if he lost… 
He’d have to accept the fact that he was trapped,
That he got himself addicted, 
He’d have to admit that he needed help, 
And that he finally lost.
Jan 18

Our Island Of Misfit Toys

December 31 came
And I thought about my friends.
I wanted to be with them,
To celebrate the new year.
I wish I had.
I wish we could’ve been together,
For one more great night,
Before our relationships started to crumble.
Because I love these guys.
In my mind,
we‘ve made our own island of misfit toys.
Maybe calling us misfits is offensive,
But we wear it proudly.
We each have our history.
We have our memories we’d like to forget,
Our quirks that make us different,
Our jokes that are only funny to us,
We have a family.
Or had I guess…
Like any family,
We’re highly dysfunctional.
Maybe that’s not any family,
but it's the ones we're used to.
I think that’s where we get our habits from.
Our destructive ones.
Because honestly?
None of us knows what it's like to have a family that works.
Dec 06

Our Generation, At a Glance

Our generation, is not what they say.
We are not rude, stubborn, and disrespectful teenagers.
We have finally learned how to stand up for ourselves, and those around us.
And to not back down, when faced with a challenge,
Or an opponent. Even if that means challenging an adult.
Because demanding respect, is not being disrespectful.
We are not mouthy, whiny, children, complaining that someone hurt our feelings.
We are young adults.
Working on changing the disrespect that has been laced into our lives.
In the way we talk to each other. See each other. Even the way we think.
We are unlearning internalized prejudices.

So if our rooms are dirty, if we’re on our phones,
if we hang out, or take part in a rally,
Think twice before you judge us on our lives.
Because we are the ones trying to right, others wrongs.
We are working on making a society, where people are not looked down on.
Dec 05

Another day outside

Dec 04

Will you?

Would you treat me the same,
If you knew what I knew?
Would you walk away,
if I showed you what I've been through?

If you think you can handle it,
I’ll tell you this now.
I can't promise to love you,
Im still learning how.

Can you stick with me,
Through the good and the bad,
If I promise im yours,
And that I’ll give you all the love I have?

Please don't leave me,
When times get tough,
Baby I love you,
You’ve done more than enough.

...thank you.

Nov 15

To Not Know What It's Like

It's okay, If you don't know what it's like,
At three o’clock in the morning, to still be crying.
Wishing that you would just fall asleep, and escape to dreamland.
It’s okay If you don't know what it’s like,
To want to give up, and end it all. Because that seems so much easier,
Then waking up, to another day.
It’s okay if you don't understand how someone could be in so much pain,
To hurt so badly, that they would draw a blade across their own flesh,
To finally have a pain they can control.
It's okay if you don't understand how someone so beautiful,
Could hate themselves so much,
To skip meals, and make themselves sick,
to rid themselves their last meal.
It’s okay if you don't know what it’s like.
You're not supposed to, no one is.
If they could rid themselves of those feelings,
They would.
It’s okay if you don't feel that way,
because they don't want you too,
Nov 07

Can you help

Do you know what it's like,
In the deafening silence,
Drawing out the night,
With never ending violence?

Have you been stuck in your head,
Scared of what you’re thinking?
Cried yourself to bed?
Or felt your heart just sinking?

Can you hear them screaming?
Hiding all their troubles,
While fake smiles are still gleaming,
And suicide rates double.

Can you open your eyes,
And ask what's wrong?
Instead of waiting until it's too late,
And then wondering why their gone?
Oct 25

Feminism pt.1

I need feminism,
Because today I had to point out (again) that
Staring at a girls ass,
Is absolutely unacceptable.
And even then,
He argued that he wasn’t doing it,
That he wasn’t even looking this way,
When we all saw him.

I need feminism because,
I'm tired of guys looking at my boobs before my personality,
I'm tired of being used as a toy,
Used for a body, not a person.

I need feminism because
I'm tired of guys thinking that it's okay to call me “baby”
When I'm walking down the street.
Or catcalling and whistling when I walk by.

I need feminism,
Because even when my male peers
Shoulders are showing, he’s not told it's distracting,
When his shorts are shorter than his fingertips,
He’s not pulled out of class to wait in the office,
For a parent to drop off more “appropriate” clothing.

I need feminism
because rape culture,
Oct 15

Gambling With Demons

There's times where I can have a good day,
Three or four days in a row.
I smile.
I laugh.
I socialize.
I joke around.
I'm happy.
But it doesn't last,
Because then it all hits me.
The demons hide in the dark
For a few days.
Patiently waiting for me to let my guard down.
Waiting for me to get comfortable in my skin again.
But then i get this feeling,
Underneath my skin.
I feel things start to move
I can feel it start to tingle.
And then all at once,
Almost as if on cue.
They all come out of the holes they've been hiding in.
The holes that people's words have dug.
They come out and they smile that evil smile
that I've come to know so well.
They sit on my lungs,
Making it impossible to breathe.
The cling to my heart
Making it ache even more.
They play morbid games with in my head,
Oct 10

I Am From

I Am From

I am from people trying to do their best with what they have.
They would have more if they didn’t blow all their money,
On something that’s slowly hurting us all
They're trying to hide us from the bad, trying to keep us safe.
Little do they know they're the biggest danger.
I am from people who say “do as i say not as i do”
Because they don't want us ending up like them
I am from a time that’s different than than theirs
The kids are different, and so are the adults
We’re growing up different than they did, but not that different.
I have heard stories, I have seen pictures.
Their childhood was messed up,
But they did it to themselves.
I don't feel sorry for them.
They were the generation of kids who didn’t give a fuck.
And that shows with their parenting skills.
They don't know what their doing,
Even I know that much.
They screwed themselves up.