you make me feel trapped,
struggling to get free.
you hold everything you've ever done for me,
dangle it over my head
and taunt me with its existence.
you use your favors as bargaining chips
and it wears me thin.
you claim openness and
you say you'll give me space
but you only see what you want to see.
you never think about what happens when you're not around.
the constant searching and trying.
then you come home
and belittle me
and yell at me
and tell me you resent me for not trying.
but i am.
i really am.
i am every day,
just because i don't scream it out to you
it doesn't occur.
you do not see the air you breathe
yet you never question it is there.
people tell you it is,
thus it is.
so why do you question me?
i do not deceive you.
i am my own person,