Jan 06

See You Again

I used to pray
to see your face again.
Heaven and God
didn't matter because
I wanted to see you now,
not later in heaven.
And then I realized
how terrified
I'd be to see you again.
How I'd scream before
crying tears of joy.
I'd probably think 
I was crazy,
that I wished too hard
so my brain made it
come true and came up
with a hallucination of you.
Because you're dead
and I wont be able
to see you again.
Jan 01

Boxes and Jars

Mom has
all sorts of boxes and jars
with the word blessed
written on the outside.
Each of them are filled
with slips of paper
covered in words
expressing little things
that make her blessed.

Maybe I should start my own
to remind myself that I have
a fully functional body with
all the correct parts and no extras
and a warm house
and plenty of food
and a good education
and nice clothes
and most importantly,
people that love me.

Maybe I should start
to remind myself that
my problems aren't
as big as I make them seem.
Dec 30

Frozen

The snow seems to
sparkle more when it's colder,
sometimes even the air
will glitter with frozen water
without any falling from the clouds.
It's as if the World is saying
sorry for giving your fingers,
toes, cheeks, and nose
to Frostbite.
Dec 18

Daughter of a Drug Addict

When he asked me
what I thought of the documentary
I shrugged.
There were people around,
people I didn’t want
seeing my emotions.
I looked to the ground
and mumbled
I don’t know.

When I got into the car
I burst into tears.
I was unable to
hold it in any longer.
I told mom
that I knew the little girl.
I helped her
pack up everyday
at the end of school,
I helped her get ready
to go home.
I knew she
lived with her grandma.
but I didn't realise why.
​She was in first grade.

When I got home
I ran upstairs to pray.
I surprised myself.
I’d never really prayed before.
I begged God
to save her
to help her.
I haven't seen her since.
She’d be eleven
or twelve by now.
Dec 18
poem 1 comment challenge: Mundane

The Pond

It seems as though
it’s been there forever
stagnant water,
rustling reeds,
the occasional frog
or salamander,
leeches,
countless mini freshwater
shrimp, and
pond scum.

The grass around it
is always scraggly and brown
and the lone thorn apple tree
has barely any leaves,
the ground is pock-marked
with hoof prints
and is a minefield of cow pies,
but the rocks are flat
and the area is quiet,
perfect for unwinding.
Dec 12

Swearing

I tried it for a while,
swearing that is,
but everyone made a big deal
they'd point and with eyes wide
and slack jaws and exclaim
You just swore!
and I'd feel like curling up
in the branches of a tree
and hiding in the leaves.
So I stopped.
And now on the occasion that I do
the word gets stuck
right before my larynx
and I have to force it out 
or swallow it and chose
a different word that doesn't
fit quite as well,
like when food gets stuck
and you choke
before it's either forced out
or it goes down the right hole
and you swallow like nothing happened.
Dec 12

Snow

Right now all I feel like doing
is running and spinning in circles
until I fall and then I'll
make snow angels and
laugh and laugh at nothing
because my happiness can't be
contained in my chest
it wants to burst forth
as energy and sound waves.
But I'm stuck in AP Lit.
I'm supposed to be writing
an explication on a poem.
I enjoy the poem,
but all I can think of is 
frozen white flakes containing
an infinite amount of joy.
Dec 12

Thorn Apple

My first memory of you
I was in the loader
or maybe the excavator
helping Dad clear
the land of trees
for Aunt Elaine
and Uncle Matt's house.
You were everywhere.

My second was when
Dad tried grafting
crabapple branches to you.
He'd heard about it
and wanted the
crabapples to have
the protection of your thorns.
I think you ended up
dying becuase of
the grafted crabapples.

Now I think of you
as the lone tree
next to the mud-hole
barely able to be
considered a pond.
Dec 08

Princess Peach

I never liked Princess Peach.
Never mind, that's a lie.
I loved her because she was
one of the two girls in Mario Kart.
I loved her until I realized all she was
was a pink dress and high-pitched giggles.
And the other girl,
I can't even remember her name,
was the same thing in a different dress.
If that's you, then you do you girl,
but my favorite character became Yoshi.
Because he was green and way stronger
than some dumb girl
called Princess Peach.

But now I think that it's stupid
I had to chose a male character
to so that my character could be
a strong the way I am.
Because pink dresses are not me.
Sure they're fine once in a while
when I want to play dress up and pretend.
But I'm more likely to be in
a t-shirt and jeans like Mario
than in a dress that doesn't allow
climbing trees or riding a bike
or playing in the mud.
Dec 08

Barn Swallows

I've always loved the barn swallows
that spend their summers
in the falling down barn
we call the garage.
Their dried mud nests
dot the rafters next to 
the spiderwebs that always scared me.
Their bodies perfect
for diving and swooping
at the cats and our family,
willing to die to protect their young
Their tail feathers
creating two sharp points
like the lines people draw
behind shooting stars.

Pages