Dec 11
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Here I go again

I can’t stop myself 
from clinging to you when 
you despise me most  
because although I’m not a bad person 
when you don’t see that it makes it hard for me to 
and when I can’t see I need something to hang on to – something sure in itself – 
and you are 
and maybe you’re not wrong either
but that only makes it more impossible for me to let you go 
for me to be 
for once in my life and to not say 

If I could just stop talking, then maybe you’d hear me again.
Nov 03
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Spinners spin; arrows point. 
This hand here, that foot there. 
Bodies obey the rules; bodies live by them. 
Right hands stretch to yellow dots.

Yellow? Why yellow? 

Because the directions say so. 
What would we do without the directions? 
Oct 22
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Worthy of a Smile

Jun 07
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The (Debatably) Not Real Oakland

A world to be born under your footsteps…     ~ St. - John Perse
        It was mid July. One of those days where the air feels suffocating and the skin sticky. On this day the heat was worse than usual, because of the wildfire. It roared through the parched oak forest - turning what would have been bright sky black and sweet wind smothering. A hundred yards off from where the fiery woods turned to meadow, a small child glared desperately into the flames. Hot tears began to roll down his soft cheeks as he heard his sister come wading through the tall sharp grass towards him.

    “Peter!,” she shouted over the cracking and popping of scorched trees. “Get away from there. Come back to the house.”

As the scrawny girl neared her brother her voice quieted, becoming more aware of his distress.

    “I won’t leave them Elaine. How could we just leave them?”
Apr 29
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Why Do We Weep?

Why do we feel?
It’s not practical, really.
Pain follows feelings like a lost puppy -
Hungry; begging to be let in to feed.

Do we let them in,
Because like the puppy,
They have nowhere else to go?
Or do we trust - without question-
That it is better to be full of anything than
It is to be empty.

We trust.
Because we have to.
Because without emotion,
There is no ambition.

And so we weep.

Weep warily, we are told.
They think it is dangerous in its inevitability.
But the danger lies insidiously
In the stilling of quaking shoulders,
The biting of quivering lips,
And the frantic blinking of eyes compelled to
Stay dry,
Stay clear,
Stay focused.

We weep because we can swim.
And when our tears attempt to drown us in bitter hopelessness,
We need only wade to shore when
Apr 14
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Hyper-Masculinity: Society's Set Up

Masculinity. It’s a word charged with preconception and delusion. Its definition - possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men - is straightforward. It was when I looked at the synonyms produced by my google search that I became alarmed. Strength, Ruggedness, and virility, all (apparently) are synonymous to the meaning of manhood. Really, it’s not surprising. But it should be. We live in a culture today where the warped social construction of masculinity and what it means to be a man has been accepted as a permissible reality. Boys are raised from infancy with the incessant repetition of the same three lies; being a “real man” comes with physical prowess, economic success, and sexual conquest. The demand to “be a man” has become one of the most insidiously destructive phrases in this society.
Apr 08
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To the Beautiful People

Dear Mother,
You taught me the meaning of strength, 
the power of dedication,
and the importance of vegetables. 
Your sacrifice fuels my own. 

Dear Father,
You possess the patience and kindness of no other. 
Without your rolling laughter and tears,
I would never have found the potential humor in humility. 

Dear Brother, 
You remind me what it means to have passion,
and humble me with your selflessness. 
Don't ever grow old. 

Dear Sister,
Your quiet, precise skill never fails to astonish me. 
I am honored to embrace the standard you unkowingly left in your wake. 

Dear Friends,
The ones who make me smile, but join me in my tears. 
The ones who challenge me to think deeper,
But never fail to think deeply of my challanges. 
I don't deserve your patience. 

Dear Beautiful People,
Thank You 
Apr 08
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They Follow

She slipped out the gate and started to run
Not towards the open field
Or the gaping grain bin
But to the bustling road

And they followed

First the older mare, curious at the mysterious energy of the first
Then the pony - exhilarated by the possibility of mischief

The humans followed too

At least the ones who could keep up
With lead ropes in hand they dashed after the runaways -
Down the driveway and past the flashing lights and honking horns

In the mostly abandoned farmhouse were
Those who were too small for the chase

A boy and girl
Brother and sister

The sister cowered under a bench
While the brother stared in disbelief

What was she scared of?

He was still too young to fear being left behind
But he would learn
Like she had

Despite their return,
He would learn
Mar 31
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I Feel Small Because I Am

Last night,
When light had fully faded into darkness,
And the stars shone brilliantly against their black backdrop,
I looked up.

I looked for confirmation -
Something to validify the fulfillment I was feeling.
Instead, instantaneously, the vast, proud, and powerful canopy to which I gazed
Came crashing down over me.

My consciousness was hurtled into space
As my body crumpled under the weight of my own triviality.

I am an invisible speck,
On a minute landmass,
Floating on the plasma of a tiny planet,
Orbiting a ball of fiery gases.

One solar system in a galaxy.
One galaxy in a Universe of billions.
One Universe that is infinite and ever expanding.

As infinitesimal as the vessels in my blood,
I am the manifestation of insignificance.

This pathetic attempt at metaphysical comprehension leaves me feeling small
(because I am)
And humble
Mar 23
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