May 16

Empty Implications of Reciprocation

I was taught the way to not feel pain is to be numb and the only way to be numb to pain is to expose yourself to it. Pain is nothing but a temporary feeling. But being numb is a feelingless momentum that feels like white noise. The noise never leaves it just becomes jaded. I learned that what hurts most isn't not being loved but your love not meaning anything someone else. What happens when you realize that they don't care about you loving them its's just numb. Blank stares, cold finger tips, and lost thoughts is how you'll feel. You start to look back at memories with the rose shaded lenses broken revealing the grim truth. Everything you said, everything you did, everything you showed, meant nothing. All of it wasted gasps swepted away by the brisk wind never to be heard from again. The words you tried so hard to articulate were lost in translation. Now this leaves you forever stuck in a lost state of hysteria never forgetting how what you said meant nothing. I love you. I love you.
Feb 08

Permanently Locked

This Box is permanently locked. No one has the Combination for the lock and the emergency key have been lost. So the locked box just sits there…. dormant.  It serves no purpose but to just sit there. The box sits both silently and still yet it has the ability to taunt people. The box knows the human nature to want to have answers, yet it still sits there. What’s in it I need to know. I can’t let the mystery be left unsolved. Its tightly shut I’ve tried with all my might to force it open, but to no avail. Thinking a couple of nights of sleep would give me an idea on how to crack it open, but as I sleep all I see is the black box with its gold Victorian pattern, the 6 × 3 × 2 in. box it’s in my dreams, it’s on my table, it’s in my thoughts, I begin to see it everywhere. People become walking, talking boxes, cities become scaled versions of the prism like capsule. So I did what felt right, I returned to the black and gold casket with a wedge and hammer.
Jan 02


Life is a story with an unfortunate end. There are no fairytale endings,no magic. All we do is find things that distract us until we inevitably kick the bucket. Love,Hope,Dreams they were all created by us for us. Created for us to have something to do. We are less of a race of intelligence and more of a race of constant diversion. We can't even stay fixated on a topic for more than a couple of mere minutes. Our minds thrive on stimuli. All that we do is to keep us busy. We'd rather inflict pain on ourselves than be bored. But aren't our minds always bored and we're always doing something that keeps us "busy"? I believe so, considering I distracted my mind by writing this.
Dec 13

Night Terror

As my alarm lingers in my ears, the noise of a warning siren slithers into my ears and softly strikes my eardrums. I attempt to locate my desk to snooze my phone but i whiff, I try again but to no avail i whiff again. In a state of perplexion i lift my head to see if my nightstand had been moved by a couple of feet, but to my surprise it wasn't there. Now annoyed i stand up only to see my bed vanish. as it finished deteriorating a faint voice interrupts and stops the alarm and says "Come here Jeremiah". As my face transmogrifies from confusion to horror. I just stand there. the voice re emerges this time louder than before, "Come here Jeremiah". As i think to myself "where is here?", It responds "walk strait" I have no choice but to obey his commands. Walking, I now i think again "Did he just read-" "Your mind, yes i can do that here." It says as It's chilling comment stops my train of thought. After about a 2½ minute walk I approach a door.
Dec 04

Freedom Runner

I'm just gonna out and say it. I'm not happy, and I don't know why. My life is in a good spot but I can't just seem to be happy, and I don't know why. I, at times feel like a marionette stung up by somebody. All I want is to run, run far, far away to someplace I can start over, someplace I can create a new persona that I can learn to love, a persona that is accepted by  others. Someplace I can call my new home. The connections to my past will be all but faded memories. In this new land I can live freely without stress and repercussion. But this paradise is nowhere in sight. No matter how much I run.
Nov 13

Blood Ink

The blood in my arm bleeds blue on paper. My thoughts are judgment clouds forged on to a paper using a thin blue rolling seal. Written in a custom font in which no one can reprint. What is written is not a facsimile but idiosyncratic. The art is fabricated by one person, one body, one soul. All written by the right hand of a troubled kid from a troubled city, just trying to fit in a society that shames people whose blood bleeds blue on paper.

Nov 12


My writing rides the waves of separation, my mind separates vocabulary from the heart and soul. Once separated I meticulously choose words that fit my scheme. The structure is carefully chosen from 3 categories Life,Death, and Reality. What I write is what I say. My vexations are opened up like Pandora's box and dispersed like the plague. A word on paper is a story to me. The heart and soul are two untameable beings but they can be separated and once so, they create beautiful melodies. To me a cipher is more than just a line its a novel, together novels create a franchise. A franchise that is forever locked on a sheet of paper. 

Sep 06

The Perfect Malice

The vicious vile venom inflicts my veins paralyzing and portraying me like a still statue standing in city hall. I just need the antitoxin to avenge my unawoken body in its astronomically astonished state. Until then I'm forced to sleep... I solemnly sleep silently soaring through the skies in my mind. But in rapid succession my conscience provokes me to move my body in which revokes the toxin, terribly transforming me back to my chilled out choice ridden chassis. The venom is a double edged sword in which no one can wield it will always free the the mind but will also trap the body. 
Jul 25

My Minds Sadistic Smile

Jeremiah its been awhile 

That it has been

I've noticed your trouble

Of course you have, you're me and I'm you.

What gives with you?

What do you mean?

You know exactly what I mean. Where is it?

Its lost.... It was lost a long time ago.

Well you better find it because you're purposely killing us.

Maybe it's not as easy as you say. 

It is, Jeremiah, you just don't want it to be.

I DO!! Because if it was easy I would've fixed it by now!

Listen Jeremiah, it's as easy as a liberty. Everything is hard when you don't look for a solution. 

Shut up....

Tell me the truth Lozada, have you even tried? 


So now you're lying to yourself AND your conscience. How pathetic. You can't even trust the one who completes you.

Jul 21

The Peering View

Navy shutters, orange grass, ocean blue skies, camouflage green trees, rose dress. 

The navy shutters block the howling wind and the scorching sun but also the beautiful trees. 

1960's, a time of innovation and simplicity 

But grass why must you die when the trees still thrive? 

The clouds gently glide through the sky like syrup on pancakes 

The windows are the view to the world but do so without a change in location 

I hear the howling wind whisper in my ear as if it were upset

The day just began, early morning the birds fly south 

The woman opens the shutters then the creak noise echoes 

Navy shutters, orange grass, ocean blue skies, camouflage green trees, rose dress.