Dec 10

Winter's Lament

Bleak winter folds o’er the mountains
and settles comfortably upon the earth
to mend the grass fields of summer's dew
and weigh upon the evergreen.
It is a burden they must carry long,
their needles quivering ‘neath frost.
A chill breath brushes ‘cross hillside,
sweeping o'er light crystal powder pale,
and weaving through what hath been woven.
The sky anon grey ‘til tender sunlit horizon
should’st feel thy cheek against her breast.
I plead for thy love so luminescent,
chiselled as thy nose, nay, ivy tongue,
yet must I recount to thee my heart?
What cruelty doth thy kiss reserve?
Must thou sour thy taste for me wounded?
I whisper heavy vows withal a sickness,
not so of the body, poorly yet of the mind.
Plagued by my fathom fed thou hath wrought,
my soul hath wilted black and sickly.
‘Tis Winter within my heart, loveliest.
Dec 07

Numb Forest

The snow is to my knees.
In my mind, I'm begging, "Please,
If there's a god, put me at ease."
I feel sensation start to cease.
Is there a way out of hell?
Where am I? Can never tell.
Give my life, not much to sell.
My time is up. There goes the bell.
I can’t see through the storm.
My arms and knees are getting worn.
It’s cold. My jeans are getting torn.
Starting to regret ever being born.
There’s no coverage from the cold.
There’s a treeline beyond the fold.
My skin is hardening into mold.
God, am I getting old?
Is my hair turning white like snow?
Will my family ever know-
what is happening to me. No?
Does the wind cease to blow?
Does the land ever curve?
Would I ever get the nerve
to trod into the dark-
and what purpose would it serve?
Do I really want to live-
in this snowy wonderland?
I don’t think I can.
I see the skyline now,

Dec 05

Value Them

There are kids crying on TV.
They're mourning in front of the world,
publicizing their pain again and again,
trying to spit a message at the country.
People don't understand.
We look at kids running from Syria
and we wish we could relieve them,
but the terror of our own children
is totally normal to us.
We've seen it all before, no doubt.
We're a country of blue cough syrup,
downing a cup and then another
to numb our morality,
but telling ourselves that we are okay
again and again is blatant and cruel
because we are far from being okay
and happy anytime soon.
I can't watch mourning people my age
weep on live television and be ignored.
Dead people need a spokesperson
to stay alive forevermore.
People don't care about the cold killer
stalking the lives around them for blood
until the cold barrel is unloaded at them.
Murder is on the market.
Dec 04

The Warmest, Loveliest, Thing

My throat closed
when you wept
against my cheek.
I heard your heart
thump inside you,
slowing and speeding.
Tha-thwump, tha-thwump.
It was so subtle,
but it was there
against my ear.
My eyes warmed,
waterlines stinging,
as I listened.
You let it out then,
what you felt.
I felt it with you.

You just wanted
to be heard
by someone.
You sounded like me.
I was so lonely,
but I wasn't alone.
You taught me that.
Pain is a given
and when birthed,
you touched my hair
and caressed my back
and whispered.
You reached me
through my nightmares
and guided me,
and in my dream
of certain death,
you held my hand
and whispered to me.

It was the warmest thing
I had ever felt
and the loveliest words
I had ever heard.
I can't imagine
this cold winter
Dec 03

Hello Stranger

You always say
that no one is there for you.
That's a lie
and you know it so well.
I saw you today
surrounded by your friends
laughing with them
and you've known them
for a while.
Though you shared troubles
they stayed there.
They may not be there forever
but they're there. 
You told me about your struggles
and I told you
everything that hurt me too,
so what is this?
Do you not care what happens?
Was it all for not?
It hurts to know that I'm no one
to someone.
You're getting better, I know.
You're leaving.
I can feel it when we speak.
You're pushing.
I'm just another friend to you.
You ignore us.
We're right here, and you're not.
It feels wrong.
Today, I didn't feel like your friend.
I felt distant.
When you're a kid, friends are forever.
We're older now.
We've stepped off of the tricycles
and into cars.
Nov 29
poem 0 comments challenge: Trees

Rubbing Hands

It must be quiet in the desert
where there isn't a tree for miles.
They lift their branches
as we pass beneath them.
We thank them for being kind
just like when we would thank a friend.
Some of them smile
some of them frown.
Sometimes, they have no expression at all.
When they sleep, their trunks creak a snore.
The wood rubs together and creates friction,
so they always have to be careful.
Don't set fire to yourself now!
You'll start a forest fire!
As a child, I'd rub my hands together
and see if it would make a fire.
A sapling planted beside me
tried to copy what I was doing.
Her mother stood tall less than three feet away.
She was chatting up a family nearby.
They looked up at her as though she was a giant
ready to stomp on them at any moment.
Fee-fi-fo-fum! What a lovely dress!
The sapling broke the conversation
with an ear-splitting squeal.
Nov 27

Worthless Ghost

I had never felt so alone in my life.
No matter how many people there were in the room,
none of them seemed to realize that I was there.
None of them spoke to me, though I spoke to them.
None of them looked at me, though I looked at them.
None of them even acknowledged that I was there,
though I acknowledge them.
I remember thinking that I was worthless to them.
My little cold heart curled into a ball at the thought.
It even ached a little to be completely honest,
but I always tried to push the feeling out of me.
There were times, however, when I couldn't.
They said that we were a team,
that we all needed each other,
but that was a heartless lie.
I could never have been one of them.
Even today after I've dropped out,
I still believe that I didn't belong there.
People say that once you leave,
you realize how wrong you were about many things,
Nov 26

The Devil's Headlights

Its eyes were like marbles,
reflecting in the headlights,
lifeless and blind.
Its ears were perked high
like satellite dishes turning
towards the roar.
It stood as still as a sign,
confused as death.
Its legs kicked in and ran
into the darkness,
into the safety of the trees.
It had a chance.
It decided it wanted to live.
If I was there,
in the devil's headlights,
would I run?
 
Nov 20

The Lion Inside Of My Stomach

There's a lion inside my stomach.
He's been there for quite a while now.
He growls whenever he's hungry
and sleeps when he is full,
but he's growing older now
and I can't control him like I used to.
He's like a child but worse.
He doesn't know right from wrong.
He doesn't do what I tell him
and he doesn't want to leave.
He's comfortable in there,
all tucked up where he's hidden safe
from the dangers of the outside,
but he's a vicious predator.
He doesn't know that just yet.
He's still too young despite his mane.
I can feel him move sometimes,
curling up or tossing over in his sleep,
but I know he's not really there.
He's not a child that I will ever birth.
He's just a child inside of me
who will never taste the petrichor
or feel the sun on his eyelids
or see the snow drift from the heavens.
He's just a child that awakens
Nov 17

Tears To The Tides

My first love is gone.
Every April 14th, I bid her farewell.
Her absence upsetted me.
Anger was a common emotion,
but I never expressed it.
My first heartbreak
was the day I discovered this.
Crying was a common occurrence,
but I never reached out.
My first attempt failed.
Ten years old and I was done,
but drowning isn't peaceful.
My first "scratch" faded.
Stupid things are done
in times of sad desperation.
My first loneliness stayed.
For some time after the first,
more kept coming in tides.
My first friend is gone.
Every November 25th, I bid him farewell.
Sadness was a common emotion.
My best friend is gone.
Every May 4th, I bid her farewell.
Anxiety was a common emotion.

My first love is gone,
so what are you doing here?
The way that I feel is the same.
I'm a little afraid of it.
If you no longer fill my laughter,
my mind,

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