Mar 18
Kittykatruff's picture

Everyone Has Secrets

I see you.
Look into those big, brown eyes
and tell yourself you understand.
The mirror reflects every emotion--
the sadness spilling out, tracing salt
down your face;
the hair held firmly back
though pieces frizz out of place;
the grim and worried countenance
you fear for them to see;
you force your eyebrows up--
relax--
deep breath, hold, 1, 2, 3.
Listening for footsteps as
you brush cold water with
rough, brown paper;
will the redness to fade away
as you hear the door open.
A Genuine smile, that you hope
will hide the pain.
A Pang of joy cuts through as you
head to your friends again.

Everyone has sorrow,
everyone has secret wounds.
Please be kind when you see those
big, sad eyes--
You don't know what they're
going through.

 
Mar 16
Kittykatruff's picture

Nature in a City

There's no Nature here.
How am I supposed to write a poem
when all I see is
Concrete
baking in the sun,
Rows of windows gleaming,
glittering like the scales of a fish
or a gravity-defying waterfall
reaching towards the sky?
Where is the grass,
the daffodils that mean
it's spring,
the streams full of water as clear
as the bayou here is cloudy?
The car drives past
rectangle lawns,
hedges trimmed to perfection in
shapes I can't even draw,
and I can't take a walk without feeling
watched
from all those windows--
the houses, the cars,
all too close for comfort.
Take the bike trail 
if you want to race
cars
on a wide sidewalk,
and grip the handlebars in fear
when a stroller approches
(you turn with feet to spare,
but it never feels any better),
and you turn around the bend,

and Wow, the park is beautiful.
Mar 11
Kittykatruff's picture

Raindrops on the Car Window

Have you ever watched raindrops race
down the car window-pane?

Some days they chase the blues away,
and I see rainbows through their streaks.

Sometimes they are struggling in vain
to hold onto cold, smooth, unfeeling glass,
only to be swept away by the wind.

Don't you ever play a sad song
and imagine the world is crying,
mourning your own pain,
mourning your loss,
and the raindrops leave tearstains
on the car window,
drumming on the roof
to the rhythm of Adele.

Today the rain is different, though;
the raindrops are washing things away.
They wash away the regrets,
the wish-I-had-known's, the anxiety;
And the world can be seen
through a different perspective,
Somehow clearer through the
Mozaic of waterdrops
across the glass;
And everything feels clean,
and new,
and
sparkling with hope.

Today,
Jan 20
Kittykatruff's picture

Studying on a Wednesday Night

A rush of air into my lungs
lets me know I'm alive again.

it feels like
waking up, 
and
leaving things behind

not quite
metamorphosized,
but now the sun looks different,
I feel the rays hot on my skin
I feel the future in my bones
for the very world
is trembling with hope

it's funny how
I find this moment
wrapped up in 
anxiety,
delivered in a
not-so-pretty package
of junior year butterflies.

it's funny how
my future's changed, how
it suddenly seems
so near

perhaps only I've changed,
and maybe that's what I fear.

I find myself wishing on the stars
that everything will be okay,
but in the corners of my soul,
I know my actions shape each day.

So let them shine.
Let them glitter and remind me
of everything not under the sun,
of how dreams are not so far
from reality--
Dec 11
Kittykatruff's picture

Lost in the Moment

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” (Emily Dickinson)

I feel the air rush in
and out.
My heartbeat
shakes my soul,
it sounds so loud.
I realize my eyebrows
are knit together,
accompanied by
a pensive
frown

now

the time I
so neglect,
planner full
of the future,
painful mistakes
coursing through my
memory,
regret,

anxiety obscures
the moment,
feelings blurring out
my thoughts,

you see my eyes glazed over,
oh, i'm just thinking,
I forgot.

Painting swirls of melancholy
o'er the streaks of sunshine
on the ground

I smile, needing to escape
this pensive isolation,
and laughter turns the
whole day around.
Oct 25
Kittykatruff's picture

Memories Make a Home


I laugh in the sun,
and everything 
seems to glow.

Then my smile fades,
suddenly
much too heavy,
and 
I'm paralyzed--

Reminders
all around me,
in glimpses of
people I think
I know,
that one familiar song
playing on the radio.

Reminders
surround me,
stifling,
making it 
hard to breathe.

Homesickness feels so 
heavy on my chest,
rolling over me
like the tide:

I'm building my own
castles here,
castles of sand,
castles of dreams,
castles
in the clouds,

but this sadness rises 
up the shore,
sweeping them
clear off the ground--

Am I unusally
sentimental?
Why do I grasp these 
memories,
Why can't I let them go, 
Why can't they
let me be--

Accepting is 
hard.
It feels
too hard
to bear.
Oct 22
Kittykatruff's picture

Growing from 2020

November 3rd, 2020.
May this election
bring us hope.

May this election
bring us peace.

May this election
bring us change,
whatever form it takes –

lift up the oppressed,
the *tired, the poor,
the huddled masses yearning to breathe free

He could not breathe.
They cannot breathe,
stolen from this world
and scattered across the sky.

They cannot breathe,
gasping from a merciless virus,
saying goodbye to those they love
on a tablet screen.

May this election
protect our
life
liberty
and
pursuit of happiness
,
and those
certain inalienable rights –

May we rise as one
to overcome adversity.

*reference to Emma Lazarus' "The New Colossus"
Sep 16
Kittykatruff's picture

Autumn Wind

        

                        take   a                                                          i    n                                    moment to
              wind                 deep                                 i       t                 g                  right                    
  the autumn                               breath,          a                                       for the
i feel                                                          w          

                                      o                                                                          y —
                                   l     w                                                              a  
                                   b      t                                                      w        
                                        h                       a                         a  
Sep 13
Kittykatruff's picture

Give Me Words


give me Words--
those glittering consonants,
syllables rolling off your tongue,
phrases rising and falling
like ocean waves,
rushing to your point on the shore
before they pull back
and rush away--

give Me words.
Tell me how the world works,
why the sky is blue

why I miss you

Please give me words--
Tell me it's going to 
be okay.
That
we will see another day,
that tomorrow will be
brighter and better than we 
ever could have hoped--

Give me so many words
that I fill up like a balloon,
and drift up and up and up
and up
into that impossibly beautiful
blue sky

then grab my hand
and pull me back down
into reality.

Give me words,
I need them to
live, to breathe.

Give me words--
I need them
to be me.
Sep 13
Kittykatruff's picture

take a deep breath

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