We stayed up late that night, later than we were normally allowed. Under any normal circumstance, this would have been thrilling: the freedom! But, as we stayed up later, I felt as if a heavy cloud was settling over my lungs and squeezing, a fish out of water. Powerless. I was only 11 years old and I had no idea what was at stake, but I still could not get enough air as I watched everything unfold.