Mar 25

those who protect

they're there. i see them.
late at night, early in morning
the same time nevertheless

looming shadows, softly ghosting
over my bare feet, chilling
goosebumps rising on my skin
where they touch and whisper

i make the trek from one room to the next
holding my blankets close, but it's not enough
they speak in my ear, soft kisses
leaving my mind buzzing

"it's okay."
"you're gonna be alright."
"a few more steps and you'll be safe."


they lounge on the stairs as i pass,
heads tilted back and eyes closed
but still somehow on me,
walking through me as i go

they're not unkind, no
shifting my blankets a little higher on my shoulders
patting my head
fighting away my demons for me.
Mar 23

the harpy-girl and her sister

"Hey, Chessie?"
I looked up, swinging my legs in the open air. The ledge underneath me wouldn't crumble, or at least, it better not. Domane's wings were loud, loud with each beat as she alighted next to me, claws digging into the ground.
My sister blinked at me as she let herself down, her legs so much longer than mine. She folded her wings up by her sides, something she always did every time she was close; I could feel her body heat radiating off her as she settled down. "You always come up here, but you never ask me to fly with you."
"Yeah? Why would I?" I tilted my head, clearly to her confusion. I reached over to smooth some of her ever-wild hair down behind her ear. "I wouldn't want you to drop me, Dome."
"I wouldn't! You know that!" Her voice rose, rose to a near-screech that I knew she never meant to get to. She was joking, kidding around just as I was, but it was still hard to not wince at the heightened notes. "I'm a good flier!"
Mar 22

rowan tries to rhyme in a poem

time does not feel like time anymore
it is just passing hours
minutes to ignore
staring at flowers

my dogs are overjoyed that we are all home
they tussel, they fight
when on walks, they roam
and we just have to keep up until night

one day it rains, the next sun
the day after that, hail,
and we all try to run
frazzled by online courses, afraid to fail

talking to friends over snapchat
through text or dm
trying to juggle this while my cat,
io, io, reminds me there's no rhyme for dm

i wonder, sometimes,
if i'll be able to go on to college,
if this'll affect my lifetime
this online-begotten knowledge.
Mar 20

living

words said over and over again
blowing breezes, lush grasses,
blue skies and overful with butterflies
snakes and rakes left out from work

words maybe said not so much
dark stars, dying cars
closed nooks and open crannies
wide-open windows and crying widows

living in the first degree,
letting nothing stop us, stop you
for we are the same, aren't we?
same heart, same parts

a failure to rhyme
taken with time and given with crime
nothing makes sense anymore
trails and trials and wiles and wits

i had a purpose, i swear i did
came to cry out one line
but, par for my course
my voice has groan hoarse

but that doesn't mean
i will stop shouting.
 
Mar 17

what i need rely

a pounding heart
too loud in my ears
shaking fingers, twitching eyes
aching legs let me know i've stretched too much

gasping breaths cut short
a rile down below
gripped hands and a barely-let out
'nother breath keep me grounded

how everything is softer
when i look at my plants,
look at you
to know things are alright.

calmed heart,
only beats in my ears
when my fingers still and i'm down
when all i can feel is clothing

quiet smile,
fluttery goosebumps
hand (soft) held (tight)
lips against my cheek and hand

what i need rely
what i need
is you.
 
Mar 17

i cannot concentrate, i cannot feel.

to feel;

what is it?
to feel emotionally (nothing)?
to feel physically (everything)?

i can feel goosebumps
up the back of my neck
everytime you speak

but i cannot feel
the riling in my stomach,
what i should be feeling when i see you

i can feel your soft touches,
kisses to my skin and
warmly-held hands

but inside
it is empty.
you hold my body.

it's terrible.
the inability to feel things inside
but feel them everywhere else

i think, because of this pause
pain feels all the more real
for it's something inside and not lingering.

i do love you.
i don't know what's wrong with me.
it's always been this way.

is there something wrong with me?
am i making everything up?
i do not know.

everything's so confusing
my only constants
this void and you.
Mar 13

q

my long-awaited trip 
to a famous music hall
has been cancelled.

sporting events,
through spring break,
can't have spectators.

it's likely that my music trip
to boston, ma, will
also be cancelled.

my friend is upset
for she will be unable to perform her song
that her and i have worked 
for months on.

am i smarting about that?
i couldn't tell you.
the song, it's my words, 
but it's her soul in the music.

we can't have more than fifty 
members of the public 
gathered in school.

we've been preparing to learn
from home, from school-given
laptops and devices.

my friend in italy, 
when i told him to be safe, 
said "wdym? did something happen?"

it was the only thing i've laughed at in a while.
 
Mar 11

she said

she said,
"don't make others suffer
for your personal hatred."


she said,
"treat others as you
would like to be treated."


she said, 
"be kind.
please."


she said,
"please."

she said,
"please."


she said,
"please." 

and she said.
Mar 09

a stigma

they've got to be strong all the time.
can't show weakness.
crying is girly. crying is weak.
they can't do that.

and that's just downright terrible.

i met a guy today.
i'd seen him around school.
he always seemed happy.
but something changed in him. something changed with him.

he wasn't so happy anymore.
i'm not even that good at telling how people feel.
but he, but this young man,
i just knew there was something wrong.

his voice barely changed. i'd hardly heard him speak before.
but his words, oh, his words
they hurt me too
as they hurt him.

it sounded as if
he'd never said those words before,
to anyone else but himself.
choked with tears and pain

and he said them to me.
i, who had never spoken with him
he said them to me.
chills run up my spine at the thought.

that no one, possibly, had asked him
Mar 07

theatre kids

hey, hey
you pushed at me with that smile of yours
one i can never turn down

want to go to denny's after the performance?
your hands in mine, pleading,
making me red and look away

it'll be me, you, and..
i stopped listening, really, after you said the two of us
i knew they were friends

please? you can sleep in the car
you still tugged at me, backstage
eager and smiling

please?
i couldn't try to say no to you
couldn't even think it.

and then, and then
i didn't fall asleep in the car
we all watched, you, me, her

as he ran across the parking lot
at eleven at night
to point at lowe's

we're going to lowe's!
even though we were in
the denny's parking lot

snow falling, a soft blanket
i could barely keep my eyes open
but you were there.

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