a pounding melody.
light and bouncing drumlines.
the harsh echo of the violins as they repeated themselves.
that's what you reminded me of.

things that just don't belong.

it wasn't that you didn't belong.
you did. but you tried to make it seem as if you didn't.
you distanced yourself as people came to you.
when someone talked to you, you excused yourself.

running away was a hobby for you.

it was hard for me to chase you down.
to back you into a corner where you couldn't flee.
you tried to run. of course you did.
and i completely respected you for that.

but i wasn't here to let you continue doing what you were doing.

in the end, you were sobbing aganist me.
"i hate you. i hate you"
you muttered, over and over,
your fists beating against my chest.

they didn't hurt. nor did the scratches on my face that you left.

 

the wind that brings spring,
blasting away the chill of winter
sprouting bulbs and awakening those that were wintering
banishing away the kiss of frost .

the wind that brings summer
in all the glory of a bright sun
blooming flowers, rustling leaves
bringing the heat, pushing the waves .

the wind that brings autumn
a cooler breath of fresh air
the falling leaves mere sprinkles on the ground
promising to come again, next year .

the wind that brings winter
blanketing all in a soft sheet
a caring whisper to put on your hat
and see the lights sparkling against the sky .

beyond the gate
lies a tree
standing proud
yet drooping
with the weight
of its offspring.

we would watch
as each
one of the
fruits fell
and we'd stay
as the wasps gathered.

faces smushed against
the bars of the fence
we'd see the gardner
pick up each fallen
grace, putting them
into bags.

one day, he gave us
each one, ones he made sure
weren't spoiled
were clean
and
were okay.

my sister had a huge smile
as she tasted
the fruit of eden
ones we
weren't allowed
to ever have.

is that why,
do you think,
everything is
so, so
bad
right now?

because we didn't something we shouldn't?

i don't know.

"Maybe..I was jealous of you. I don't know why. You always had what I didn't, but that wasn't your fault." I choked back more words that I didn't want to say, but my body coughed them out anyway. "Luna..I think I loved you. And hated you, at the same time. I should've said something earlier, shouldn't I? It's too late, isn't it?"
"Michi.." she trailed off. Her eyes, big and soft, wetted with tears. "You don't need to do this..!"
Without warning, she grabbed onto me, trying to pull me free. To no avail; the debris wouldn't budge, and neither would I. I could only clutch her shirt as she sobbed against me.
"No! No! You have to make it out of this!" Her voice was interrupted by sobs. "Please, Michi! You can do it, I know you can!" Luna tugged on me again, her hands slipping on blood. My blood. "Please..!"

the sharp scent of something i can't identify.
the rain's slicing drops
thunder's raucous cry
lightning's quick answer.

i close my eyes.
my cheeks are wet
my book is soaked
my mug has fallen to the ground.

i breathe.
i suck in the humid air,
the taste of grass
essence of summer.

the cup shatters.
my leg is bleeding
my tea is spilling
my shirt is stained.

but it's alright.
i'll survive.
 

"Hey! Are you done yet?" Ayden called to Asher. The sun was slowly setting over the landscape. The back alley they were in, however, was only lit by the faded streetlight at the very end of the alley.
"Yeah, give me a minute!" The light from the flickering bulb almost didn't reach the ground below. Asher kicked a can off of the ground, and it hit the groaning figure he'd subdued just a moment earlier. "Oh, you're still kicking. Sorry about this, really am." He hefted his baseball bat and sent it crashing down. It hit the figure's neck and it sputtered before going silent. "Good!"
"You're being too loud!" His friend pulled him away from the prone man. In his other hand, Ayden held a bag. "Look, they really were loaded. We'll be okay for a while."

"Look! Don't you see how the world is?! It's so wonderful and magical, why would you want to end it all?!"
His voice quickly grew as he kept speaking. Blood ran from a wound above his eyebrow, his leg, his forearm. But it didn't stop him, at all.
"Get out of the way."
Her voice was cold, cutting, quiet. Red splattered her white clothes and her eyes were dark. "I'll kill you. You're worthless."
"Cairo! Get away from him!"
That moment of weakness. She turned, eyes widening with surprise as a lance sheared its way through her neck . The force pinned it to the wall next to her, and by extension, Cairo herself. She struggled in vain against the wooden shaft, but it was no use. The blood she'd stolen for herself poured out of her, dark and bubbling to the floor.
"Julio!"
The blond turned, spitting out blood on the fallen woman. She glared at him, but her eyes were quickly losing color.
"Pietre! Oh gods, you're alright!"

title a reference to: evangelion's 'mother is the first other' symphony

"Do you remember her, Ravilo? Your mother?"
Murky dreams. Why had Julio asked me that..? Why did he need to know?
Everything was dark. There was nothing to see.
"What did she look like?"
Words, unbidden, sprand to the surface.
"..blue.."
"Blue? She looked blue?"
"..no..her eyes.."
"Her eyes?"
"..they were the most beautiful shade of blue.."

I woke with a start. Sitting straight up, I put my hands to my eyes to my face. I didn't feel alive.
"Ravi? What's wrong?"
Julio's reflective eyes from the other side of the room, peering at me intently.
"N-nothing, Julio. I'm sorry to have woken you." I had to look away. My heart was beating fast and everything seemed out of focus.

i remember begging my dad to get me a cat
"dad, please" i'd say, again and again
eventually, after i wrote an essay, he relented
and we went out to tabby town to pick one out

we came home with io,
a scared black-and-white kitten
who crawled all over me and flexed her claws
up and down my arms.

i remember breaking down, some day after school
in my room, surrounded by math homework i didn't understand
and io, that stupid little kitten who did nothing but yell at people passing by
jumped on my bed and started to play with my pencil.

it was a came of cat-and-mouse, io the cat
and my eraser the mouse.
i didn't finish my homework that day.
io wouldn't leave me alone.

i remember her kneading my arm
licking my face, scratching at my homework
defending me from sine, cos, and tan
that little kitten who loved to yell.