Aug 05

that little kitten who loved to yell

i remember begging my dad to get me a cat
"dad, please" i'd say, again and again
eventually, after i wrote an essay, he relented
and we went out to tabby town to pick one out

we came home with io,
a scared black-and-white kitten
who crawled all over me and flexed her claws
up and down my arms.

i remember breaking down, some day after school
in my room, surrounded by math homework i didn't understand
and io, that stupid little kitten who did nothing but yell at people passing by
jumped on my bed and started to play with my pencil.

it was a came of cat-and-mouse, io the cat
and my eraser the mouse.
i didn't finish my homework that day.
io wouldn't leave me alone.

i remember her kneading my arm
licking my face, scratching at my homework
defending me from sine, cos, and tan
that little kitten who loved to yell.
 
Aug 01

Wild Roses

"Wild roses on a bed of leaves in the month of May
I think I wrote my own pain
Oh, don't you?"

- Of Monsters of Men, "Wild Roses"

"Where do you think I'll be in a few years?"
My legs dangled over the the side of the cliff, the ground so far below. Alexander, ever by my side, had stayed standing while I tempted death. The sun was gently setting, the last brilliant rays reflecting onto the sea. It was calm, with few clouds. The wind was quiet and far-off into the distance.
"I don't know," he answered simply.
Somewhere far away, a seagull squawked.

It was the next morning.
I woke up in my bed, my sheets on the floor. I'd left the window open and I felt sticky. I got up and closed the window, turning on the air conditioning too. I sighed, letting the cool air hit me.
Jul 30

scene dump

the new future is coming. one we carved from our own hands. we lost a lot, but we didn't lose this.

-

I remember watching Ravilo slowly climb up from the ruins of the building that had been his home for the last several years. Julio was on his back, knocked out and bleeding. I followed behind, careful not to rip my gloves any more than I had already. Somewhere, a raven cried into the dark skies.
The top was unstable, but we could see everything around us. The bodies of Asiid and humans alike fell under the rubble, dark puddles of blood flowing from beneath them. I couldn't look. I turned my head away, shutting my eyes and covering my mouth.
"You didn't have to look, Pietre," Ravilo said softly. He spat onto the ground -  blood, probably. He'd almost been killed.
"I know, but..it's so terrible. Why would they do this?" I moved my hand so the words wouldn't come out as muffled. I opened my eyes again, focused on the broken ground beneath me.

Jul 29

I Don't Know Anyone Who Wakes Up and is Suddenly Able to Do Things They Haven't Before (including, but not limited to, giving physics the middle finger)

So similiar, yet so different.

-

"What the hell was that for! You could've killed me!" His angry words came at me with a book. It smacked into the shelf behind me and fell to the floor.
I grinned. "But it didn't!"
I picked up the book as Colibris threw another at me - I caught it this time around. "Hey! You know how much Marcene likes Duerr! Don't go throwing it around!"
"You're the dumbass who made me do it. You tried to kill me by pushing over a bookshelf!" Coli had his arms full of books. One had closed on the dark hem of his shirt and he pulled it away.
"Oh hush! I would never!" I teased, setting the books down on a chair. Around us, the library was a mess from Yo's recent tantrum. She was off getting scolded by a teacher, while we were stuck with cleaning up.
I suddenly got an idea - because Yomi had used wind magics, couldn't we just undo it? I looked at my palm and then clenched it into a fist.
Jul 29

Major, Massive, Grade-A, Colossal, Enormous Screw-up of Epic Proportions

the mental health of everyone across the world, especially teens and young adults, are deteriorating rapidly. everything's costing more as businesses hunger for money and ignore human rights. the planet is getting warmer and species are going extinct. there's an enormous mass of trash in the ocean and it's disgusting. children are dying due to lack of access to resources and monopolizations of said resources. women are having acid thrown on their faces for saying no. men are being faced with false rape accusations for saying no. people are getting shot for their skin color while those that shot them are getting off scot-free. animals are getting abused because people can't be kind. people are getting abused because people can't be kind.

where did we screw up?
 
Jul 29

Speckles of yellow

the happiest i've ever been?
i'm not sure. that's not something i remember.
i remember spots across my memories
happy days.

none of them really stand out on their own as being supremely happy.
i'd like to think that they all made me happy
in their own, unique ways.

i was happiest with a person
when i went to a dance with my now ex-boyfriend.
i had a good time, i'd stepped out of my comfort zone
and just had a good time.

i was happiest alone
when i was out in my backyard, staring at the sky
as meteors flew across the night above.
the bugs were annoying, but that didn't dampen my mood.

i was happiest with a gift
when i received a letter from ywp with chocolate inside,
recognition of the writing i'd worked hard to improve.
i was crying when i opened the envelope and read the words.

i was happiest with hard work
Jul 28

I'm Not Sure

sometimes, the words come out wrong.
it's always when i'm around other people,
ones that care about me
to some degree.

i didn't mean to say i'm colorblind.
i'm not. i can see perfectly fine.
i don't know why i said i was allergic to avocadoes.
i've never even had one.

i didn't have a terrible headache during musical.
i had one, yes, but it wasn't as bad as i'd said.
i said i didn't hurt myself while i was riding my bike.
but when i took a shower, my leg ached, so so badly.

maybe it's not the words that come out wrong.
it's just something up here
in my mind
screwing up these words that i hold so dear.
Jul 26

Crosshatch - IV

When I woke up, there was someone sitting at the side of the bed.
"Acroste..?" I murmured blearily. As I wiped the last remnants of sleep from my eyes, they widened. "Oh..you're not him."
The man next to me had a face decorated with fine lines and wrinkles; his hair was black and streaked with grey. As I spoke, he looked up from his book, closing it quietly.
"Acroste will return soon, I sent him away so as to speak with you alone," he said, setting the book down on the floor next to him. "My apologies if I woke you up."
"No, no, you didn't." I straightened myself and ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm Kloss. And you?"
"Tille." He didn't extend his hand out to shake, instead electing to fold them over his lap. "Are you enjoying Silvest?"
I looked out the windows - the sun was starting to rise above the treetops. "From what I've seen of it, yes. There's nothing like this around my home."
Jul 26

Bursting with Ideas

up here in my head,
it's strange.
i don't think people are usually
thinking about what their characters do next
how they interact with each other
where they will be in so many years after their adventure.

i lay awake at night,
staring at the ceiling, worrying
about people and things
that don't even exist.

would ravi actually survive that?
will julio manage to save ara?
what drives cairo, really? she's not
that bad, is she?
i should write about malphas and alexander and chier again, shouldn't i?
what would matt do when he kills his father?


things like that drive my insomnia
but some days it's better.
when i write things down, quick little ideas
he dies from blood loss ? maybe from overuse of magics?
they don't always make sense, either
julio broke leg, fixed with leaf
things like that.

Jul 25

Reflection

you think you know someone, right?
and then you ask stupid questions

>i'm sorry to ask, but are you into girls?

holding your phone, you're frozen.
you're afraid.
what if she thinks you're weird?
girls shouldn't like girls.
but you've never seen it as wrong.

>well, maybe a little. i'm not sure.

barely comprehending the words on the screen,
you jump.
you have a chance!
you thought she'd reject you.
what do you do now? she knows you've read the message.
you reply.

>lit.
 

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