Jul 23

thoughts on a sunny, 76 degree day

ah, it's not as warm as it could be
but it sure beats the weather from last week.
almost ninety-five degrees out!
can you believe it? i felt bad for our mail carriers.

it's so peaceful. i'm happy it's not loud.
these bright days are something i wish would never end
these emotions, too
i wish i could always feel content.

i've got some homework, sure
it's not much, but i can't find my books i need to read
well, doesn't matter much. i have a month.
i'll crack down on the books soon.

ah, i wish i could take a nap.
Jul 21

smol boi

"Ernesto?! Where did you go?!" Liza sat up abruptly, the papers on her desk scattering everywhere. They floated slowly to the ground as she searched for her puppy. "Nesto?!"
The little arf came from underneath one of the sheets as he wiggled out from below the ink-laden paper. His tail wagging, tongue out, the very tiny corgi stared up at his owner before running around atop the assignments.
"Oh! What on earth happened to you?!" Her voice was soft, low as she scooped the puppy into her hands. "Lord, you're so small.." She looked at the clock - it was just past midnight and she was working on a report for her biology class. "I must be dreaming.."
Ernesto hopped off of her palm and continued running on the desk, his miniscule barks nearly inaudible to Liza as she picked up her mess. He circled her pen, nipping at the inked tip. "Oh, stop it! That's not for you to eat!" Liza chided, picking up the pen again.

Jul 21

perhaps

perhaps i try to be positive for everyone
because i wished for someone like me
when i was in the depths of the void.

perhaps i try to treat my dog, bella, the best i can
because i wished i'd spent more time
with our late one, sasha.

perhaps i put all my efforts into cooking
because i wished i could remember all
the tastes from my childhood.

i'm a very regretful, scared person.
i'm scared i'll forget the good parts of life,
and spend all my time trying to remember
when i should be experiencing something new.

perhaps i keep my room as clean as i can
because i wished it had
always been that way.

perhaps i adore taking photos now
because before, all colors at had been flat,
grey, unseeable to me.

perhaps i apply myself so much to school
because i wished to make up for those
terrible, terrible years of middle school.
Jul 18

a shame

change ?

oh lord, where do i even begin?

our prison systems, designed to keep prisoners in and locked away, made for-profit
the school systems, ones that cause undue anxiety and stress on students
our environment, how badly we've treated it and destroyed countless species and lives
the corruption in the law system, a bias towards women when children are the main concern

there's a lot wrong here.

i'd ;

reform the prisons, make them public and not privatized - no one should be able to profit off of another human being
restructure the schools, give students a choice in what they want to learn - i'll be damned if i use the pythagorean theorem every day
ensure the safety of endangered species, putting a stop to companies abusing it - why would we kill the only planet we have to live on?
Jul 16

gravestone

i would love to be remembered
for the good stuff i've done.

helping people out, whether it be with their homework
or through the worst hours of their lives
or, even, helping my anxious friend
asking questions when she wasn't able to

hell, all i want to do is help people
adopt a shelter dog or cat, donate to the food pantry
adopt or foster a child, volunteer at a nursing home
be a therapist, talk things through with people

i've never felt more accomplished when i was told,
"I really appreciate that you try to help others."
and
"I like you and I appreciate your help vey much! Thank you for helping me with my attachment problems."
it makes it all worth it.

i'd like to be remembered as someone who
cares very much about the wellbeing of other living things.
nothing is more important to me than the happiness of people around me.
Jul 16

cooking

mixing flour
and sugar
and baking powder
in a bowl
sucks.

eating the
result, though,
is something
everyone
enjoys.

no one wakes up and thinks,
'today, i'm going to do something fun,
i'm going to stir a pot of chocolate chips
and whipping cream over low heat until it melts'.

cleaning up after making pizza dough is the worst
all that flour? pah, it ends up on the floor
and then when the dog steps in it, you know exactly where
she went

i do like cooking.
i like entertaining people and showing off bread
and cookies, and cakes, and dinner
but cleaning and actually making the stuff?

nah.
 
Jul 15

Sunshine

Jul 08

Crosshatch - III

Acroste had left some time after I'd punched him. I'd fallen asleep again not too long after that.
My dreams were murky, with things I never wanted to see again. I fought to rise out of the slumber, but I was only pushed further in to that dark cloud.
I couldn't move as I was forced to relive what had happened, again and again.
Dae, lying there in a pool of blood. The old cleric, in his hands a see-through fetus the size of my palm. The rest of the crowd, saddened by these terrible events.
Dae's sightless hazel eyes stared straight at me. My heart caught in my throat as everyone turned towards me, their collective voice accusatory and low.
"You did this."
No! I didn't! I wanted to scream as they all surged towards me, seeking mob justice.
"Kloss! Hey, Kloss! Wake up!"
Jul 08

peace?

peace?
i'd:

; open schools in poor, not well-to-do areas
; plant gardens and trees where we need them most
; advocate for 'adopt don't shop' and no-kill shelters
; attempt to regulate the most offending industries, those that rely on back-breaking human labor
; work to free those that were mistakenly thrown in jail

oh, what i can do?
i can:

; attend community events such as bake sales
; volunteer my time wherever it's needed
; speak kindly and teach others to do the same
; greet everyone with a smile and tell jokes
; listen to the stories of those nearly too old to tell them anymore, and put their minds at peace.

there's not a whole lot me, a sixteen-year old, can do.
but i can sure try.
Jul 08

Wanderlust

By god, I want to get out of here.
Yet, at the same time, I don't.
I want to flee down my street, turn right at some random intersection
and just run.
I want to feel the wind in my hair
as I run toward the sunset, away from things I knew
and closer to things I don't.

However,
there's always a sense of belongingness at home,
something I have yet to replicate somewhere else.
Though I suppose, at college, I'll learn another definition of home.
I want to be free, to go wherever I want.
I want to be in love.
I want to be happy.

My stomach hungers for those quick breaths taken
at the top of a cliff before I'm about to jump into water so many feet below.
My stomach hungers for some quick, carressing touches,
letting me know everything's alright and it will always be that way.
My stomach hungers for smiles, for laughter, for enjoyment and fufillment

Pages