May 21

Gorgeous Scoundrel

That gorgeous scoundrel,
Who looks at you and you just melt,
And makes you think of a whirling dance from your past,
Where the butterflies are evacuating your stomache,
And flying to your head,
Making you light headed and dizzy.
That one seemingly perfect boy,
Who has a dance in his step,
Always ready to sing you a song,
And make you feel special.
That funny guy,
Who's hair is just right,
With the best swoopy bangs,
And bright smile,
The glint in his eye indecating his excitement,
And reminding you he loves a good adventure.
The kinda guy you expect to meet on a storybook train,
Wind blowing your hair in your face as he plays a song.
That old soul who spins you around and reminds you to be happy,
And makes you laugh.
And someday,
Maybe he'll see me the way I see him,
But for now,
He's just a gorgeous scoundrel,
And nothing more.
May 21

Untitled/ A bunch of Randomness

A Candle.
A wire covered in dripping candle wax,
That had connected to an yellowing lamp.
Where the old lady sat,
Watching her telaphone.
A firm death,
Wrapped in rose petals,
That had a stolen kiss tucked inside it.
Where a younger version would have laughed a smiled,
And peppermint would mean someone special.
May 15

You Changed

People say it takes a miracle for some people to change.
I think a tragady works too.
Because you've changed, quite a lot actually.
Sometimes when I look at you or hear you're voice,
I have to process for a momment and realize,
That you're still you.
And I'm sure the little dark voice is still in you somewhere,
The little selfish child you once were,
Intertwined in your bones.
But I can't find it,
And trust me,
I looked.
And maybe I was just blinded by my emotions, and you changed a long time ago,
I don't know.
But you care now,
And I'm not sure who or what tought you to care,
But I'm silently thanking them for making you such a better person.
Why do you care about school now?
Is it because we're drawing so near to the end,
And you're suddenly feeling it creep up on you, 
Just like it's doing to me?
And maybe this all will change when everything goes back to normal,
Apr 08


Putting a smile of my face,
Along with some mascara,
Everyday so I don't look like a crap,
Is tiring.
So the smile is gone,
And the mascara is messily put on,
In a hurry for my first video chat of the day.
I haven't changed in three days,
Why bother? 
Not like I'm going anywhere.
Crying into my pillow at night for some unknown reason,
And rubbing at the mascara because I didn't take it off earlier.
My hands seem to contsantly shake,
Even though I'm not nervous and I haven't had coffee for days.
Trying to do really good in school,
And having my mom push me harder.
I'm so compleatly out of it,
It's either a Monday or a Friday.
And all I'm thinking about,
Is everything.
Apr 08


Hello Dreamgirl,
I have a few questions.
Why do you never talk to me,
With your soft pink lips,
That never speak a word.
Why do your eyes shine, 
As though you've been crying, 
And somehow make me want to see you cry,
Because it would be beautiful.
Why did you come now,
When I'm all alone,
With no one.
Oh, now I get it.
Why are you nothing like what I thought my type was?
And yet somehow,
Your perfect.
Like, actual perfection in a mirage.
Your a dreamgirl, but I never dream of you,
Your just always there, right before I go to sleep.
Mar 23

A bunch of facts about me.

I was born on a Monday.
My mom said it was the worst Monday until I was born and then it was the best Monday.
When my mom was pregnant,
She would walk along the pier on full moons,
And I would wriggle around a lot.
That's why my middle name means child of the moon.
I had my first crush when I was three,
And I've been a hopeless romantic ever sense.
My first best friend that I remember was when I was two,
She wasn't potty trained and I used to make a big deal every time she had an accident.
Now I have three best friends,
One is an amazing writer and talented actress, who listens to my problems even when they probably bore the crap out of her,
And she is there whenever I need her,
Which is a pretty big commitment because I need her a lot.
The other is a super funny, sweet girl, who comes to me with her problems asking for advice,
Who jumps into my arms and makes me carry her, bride style, everywhere.
Mar 23

Fourteen Years

Fourteen years,
Eleven or Twelve different houses,
Three States,
Three Schools,
One Cat,
One Dog,
Billions of books,
Lots of long lost friends,
Nine cousins,
An infinity of stories,
A million songs,
So many steps,
Five feet and three inches,
One heart,
Fourteen years.

Mar 18


Hot, Burning, Anger.
Behind your eyes,
With no ventilation,
Making your whole face heat up.
Boiling your brain,
Not giving you time to think.
A heart,
Beating inside your chest,
Pain and shallow breathing.
The pulse,
In your hand,
As you laugh a shaky laugh.
From the scars that never quite heal,
Living there,
On your arms and legs.
A cuddled body,
Hoping to never let go.
Squirted over everything,
From French fries, to pasta.
A heavy,
Velvety feeling,
Calming you,
Making it hard to breathe without trying.
Safety incased in a great deal of pain.
Burning out.
Feb 22

The Memories

You can still hear the whispers right now if you listen,
A rustle of old decrative tissue paper,
Or the sound of a knife hitting velvet lined surfaces.
And always the never ending windchime crackle that lifts the hairs of the back of a dog's neck.
They like to keep house in photographs,
Which is why there are less of them now.
But they're still there,
Eyes burning into the back of your head as you look the other way,
A twich on your arm in the night when you though it was just your hair falling to the side as you toss and turn because you can't shake the feeling your being watched.
A quiet living room with the TV muted as you try to breathe deeply,
But something quite like dust suffocates you,
Inabling you to breathe.
A musty smell you knew wasn't part of your room seeping into the walls.
Whispers you hear the when you put your ear to the pillow and the second you take lift your head,
They're gone.
Feb 22
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