Jan 17

Pebble

I want to build you a castle, even though I can barely use a screw driver.
I want to write you a song, one that would make you think of me on a whole new level,
One you could listen to when we're apart.
I want to give you the world, even though it's not mine to give.
I want to do this because I just realized just how much I love you.
Yes, I said it, and it's true.
The only reason I haven't said it is because I want to tell you to your face, not through some screen a million minutes away from me.
You've gone and consumed my mind, and every time I think, you're right there.
I want to make you the happiest person in the world, regardless of whether or not I'm broken.
You deserve so much and I wish you knew just how special you are.
You compare yourself to a pebble, a rock, a stone.
But you are nothing like that. 
You are something beautiful, alive, and in love,
And someday maybe you'll know that.
Jan 09

Promise, Someday

Someday.
Someday we will hug and kiss like its no big deal,
Wrap our arms around each other and walk down the street.
Someday I’ll have a special name, that only you call me,
Something that makes me smile,
Even after I’ve heard it a million times.

Forever.
Forever is a long time.
It’s means until no longer there is time,
And everything is nothing more.
Forever is something I can’t promise,
For someone even as loyal as me can not commit for that long.

One day.
One day we may hate each other,
We may never speak again.
That will break my heart because I always want to talk to you,
Even if we’re not in love.

Sorry.
Sorry because I’m not in love yet.
I barely knew you a month ago and have only seen you twice.
Sorry because I always say sorry,
Because I want to love you more.

I know.
I know I love you, 
I just don’t want to say it.
Dec 01

Always something

It's always got to be something.
That one thing that takes the wind out from under your wings making you tremble,
and fall.
And it's always the something you generally expect,
But hoped wouldn't happen.
It's like if you went to give someone a hug,
And they just evaporated when you touched them,
Leaving you damp all over and shivering.
How can you expect someone to evaporate when you hug them?
You just wouldn't think to think of that.
Of course when it happens,
You might realize how perfectly probable it was in the first place as you tumble through blank space where there was once a body.
When you fall,
The sun falls,
And everything else falls leaving you nothing to cling to.
You have to wait
Until the world turns right side up again.
Oct 30

The Rules of High School

I thought it would be different for me, I thought I could be stronger.
No, I'm just like everyone else, and we all say high school sucks.
Rule number one: You are freshman, you must move out of peoples way, do no expect them to move.
Two: If you have too much eye contact, its creepy, but if you don't have enough, your up to something.
Number three: It doesn't matter if you have something to add, don't interject into other's conversations.
Three A: On that note, you're gonna get judged if someone finds out your listening to their conversations, even though everyone does it.
Four: People who already have friends probably don't want to talk to you, especially if your unique.
Rule number five: DEAR GOD THAT PERSON IS UNIQUE IT'S SO SCARY!! Yeah, people want you to blend in, not stick out.
Six: Don't be a teacher's pet. Just don't.
Number Seven: Accept that high school sucks.
Eight: Find your group of people and stick with them.
Oct 30
poem challenge: Dark

When you turn off the light

That moment when you reach to turn out your light at night and for a flash of a second,
You are unprotected.
Your blankets can not wrap themselves around you to keep your safe,
And you have no earthly way of knowing,
What's about to kill you. 
It could be an angry spirit,
The kind your cat sees when she suddenly lifts her head up at night to look at some unknown spot on the wall.
Or a horrible, decaying monster with eyeless white eyes that bore into your soul right before it rips into your flesh.
A cold, bony, clawed hand that grabs at you, 
Pulling you toward it. 
A corpse could fall on you from a nonexistent trap door in the ceiling,
It's rotting flesh crumbling over you and getting under your blankets.
But usually,
There's just a bug that might fly onto your head,
Which is still creepy, just not as much.
Sep 07

Seeing you

I don't want to see you every day.
I like it better when you unexpectedly appear in places when I just happen to be there.
When you shout my name across a patio,
Not ashamed to be knowing little ol' freshman me.
Seeing you is my secret treasure box,
A sparkly wave of the hand, 
A masked smile.
But sometimes,
We're far enough away,
And then I can really see you smile,
Like a bunch of stolen treasure,
Making me smile too,
Excited and terrified all at once.
I want seeing you to be my reward for getting through the week,
Like an extra perfect piece of chocolate.
Because I'd rather see you for five minutes,
Than eat a whole box of chocolates.
It's so funny, 
To barely know each other,
But be able to pick each other out of a huge crowd.
And it gives me such a rush,
When you wave,
And I wave back in front of all these people.
Because seeing you,
Sep 01

Thirteen things I don't want to forget now that I'm in high school

1. I am a headstrong little animal, consistantly tugging, pulling, pushing, to get what I want. I don't settle.
2. I love people and books, And I judge both by they're covers because apparently freshmen don't speak on the first few days of school.
3. I go with my gut, because it's always hungry and always right.
4. I AM always hungry and always right.
5. I will never be happy with what I have, working hard until I get what I want, which is the best. See #1.
6. I have always been jealous of everyone, and everything, but I can't let that get in my way. See above.
7. I am weird, and I am insane, but that's what makes me so incredibly cool.
8. I'm a loud, bossy, drama queen, but not everyone wants to hear what I have to say.
9. Thirteen is my favorite number, and then twenty one, and my favorite colors are black and red.
10. I am unique, and I never need to blend in.
Aug 24

My tiger with wings

I have decided that I do not want a pair of wings tatooed on my shoulder blades.
I do not want a tiger either.
Well, not exactly...
I want a tiger with wings.
Full, silky, white wings.
Majestic, but an ultimate powerhouse. 
It will protect me,
And let all my potentials soar to their maximum.
Why choose half,
When you can have it all?
Why choose ground,
When you can rule the skies too?
I want a tiger with wings on my shoulder blades,
To show everyone,
Who I really am:
Limitless. 
 
Aug 24

New pages

Imagine being a piece of paper,
A whole scrap book in fact,
A whole you.
Now imagine starting fresh.
Ripping off the pictures, 
Erasing the pencil marks,
Brushing off the glitter.
Wouldn't it be amazing?
Now,
We can't just start over everything,
That's not how life works.
There are still indents where we wrote too hard with the pencils,
And parts of the paper that have been ripped from when we tore off the pictures.
But it's still fresh,
And that's all we need.
You can add new pictures,
New captions,
Whole new stories.
And it's still you,
Right down to the smell of the paper.
That's what it feels like,
Starting a new school.
So refreshing,
So new,
So blank.
But still me.
Aug 24

Gone and lots of water

I've been gone,
Caught up in a wave of uninspirational nonesense,
And coming back,
Realizing how much I've missed,
I feel like a mother,
Who left her child,
And came back a decade later only to realize she had been forgotten.
Well I'm back.
A flood of unspilled words overflowing in my brain,
Drowning out everything else,
Until all I can do is lay awake at night,
Thinking about all the possiblilties.
I am a thunder of a thousand words,
Rolling up on the sand,
And washing away.
 

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