Aug 20

permanent ink

I try not to have any regrets
but yet I find myself
sometimes in debt
to the man in the corner
with his scraping beard
and jagged silhouette

he's the one I would have feared
inside his web of crawling
threads
a single cigarette
draping from his lips of lead

a stream of smoke that slowly ebbs
inside my mind
offset from the kind of things
that normally would have appeared
a speeding train threatening to upset
the notion
that we are intertwined

a minuet to which we are blind
an orchestral chant
a rant
for those who bled
instead of breathing
for those who fought instead
of dreaming

because once you wait your turn in line
until your empty fate's assigned
time will burn in fiery red
a soulless threat
we may not have volunteered
for this
but why are we still inclined 
to find
what words will stay 
Aug 07

Silver Lips

May 15

Windsparks

Apr 28

building blocks

I'm the kind of person
who knows the names of all the countries in
Europe
and most of the ones in the whole world.
I plan everything
(except for spontaneity) and
rely on calendars and notes
to remind me what day it is
which explains why I hate it when people
round up
time.
I'm pretty convinced that my soul speaks french
because each word I learn is like a treasure
and sometimes
at night I feel a pulling toward somewhere far away.
I'm the girl in your class who everyone likes but isn't really best friends with anyone
who loves politics
and who everyone hates to go after during
presentations.
I can't braid hair or paint my fingernails to 
save my life
and I'm no fashion icon
but I love the clothes I wear (mostly)
though I think I'm allergic to shopping (also skateboarding).
I think being starstruck is overrated and demeaning
Apr 21

Still here

Apr 08

My Novella -Untitled

Apr 02

Last Seen Leaving

Mar 28

If I Leave

I know
that every day away
every step feels like
a knife
twisting deeper
in our hearts
each day I watch the rainfall
from a broken window
and wonder
how I am ever going to choose
to be away from you
because I see myself in three years
right beside you
in our sashes
and crying
because I'll miss you
but I'm so happy for us at the same 
time.
I see us in decades coming back together
and remembering
laughing
talking and eating cake
but if I leave now
I might miss a moment
or I might be too scared to return.
I don't want to go 
but what
if each step away means another second
of my dreams
but then again,
I built my dreams on you
like stretched scaffolding speeding towards a cloudy sky.
Please
I can't see myself without you
I can't be happy
without you in my life.
so promise me.
if I leave make me come 
Mar 20

Thoughts of the quarantined

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