I stood at the bus stop, like every Thursday. An umbrella unfurled above my head. Raindrops rolled down it, like tears tracing magenta cheeks. Frigid air bit me through my jacket, but I resisted. I had to stay. 

Like every Thursday, I see you come to stand beside me out of the corner of my eye, a silhouette of warm shadow. As I turned to smile, I froze when you stared back at me, face unreadable. Your eyes were angry, bright hot against the downpour. Yet I could see flashes of silvery sadness, disappointment. I spoke, but words meant nothing. Just sounds travelling across the growing gap between us. 

“What?”

Your lips tightened, eyes still glaring. I felt a sinking, tugging feeling in my chest. Like a hand reaching up, and twisting my heart with an iron grip. Finally, painfully, you opened your mouth to speak.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

What do I write about
when 
people are dying
people are mistreated
people are misguided
people are screaming
people are crying
people are morning
people are shouting
people are angry

I say "people"
not the subdivisions that society has split us up into
because there is only one race
and thats us
humans.

Its true, some of us can be blind.
Blind to the slaughter of our brothers and sisters.
And I can't stand to watch.

I can't watch as our President hops around playing golf
amist a padamic 
while the people he is supposed to lead 
are rising up against him.
No, I refuse to think of him.
But alias,
America is led by a fool.

But even he is human.

How can I write about the sky and smiles
while people suffer
while more lives are claimed
while our world slowly heats up 
and will eventually burn us alive.

Warning: violent actions and death is described.

One upon a time, there was a man named George Floyd.
He moved to Minneapolis, parting from long time friends and family.
Not long ago, he was suspected of foregry, a non-violent crime,
and was arrested by two white officers.
But its more complicated then that.
When the white officers asked him about foregry and he risisted, 
they attacked him, and one officer held his knee onto his neck while the other confronted the growing crowd.
"Please, I can't breathe," George gasps.
The officer ignores his pleas.
The growing crowd shouts,
telling the white officers to give him mercy,
to check his pulse.
They do not comply.
After several minutes, 
George looses consciousness.
The officer does not take his knee off this innocent man's neck.


After 7 minutes of being pined to the ground,

Our world is on repeat
until everything is better

Our lives are going to be the same
until everything is better

The same frequency over and over again
lulling us to sleep.

Endless nightshifts and worries
until everything is better

Millions of us deep underground
until everything is better

When people are dying left and right
and still some are blind.

Spitting mouths and violent eyes
until everything is better

Policemen, just trying to keep the hate at bay
until everything is better

Misplaced beliefs filling our heads
wrapping like chains around us

Families, living in fear
until everything is better

children and elderly, knowing any breath could be their last
until everything is better

Thanks to the ones who would risk everything
for some who don't even care.

You swept me from an isle of doubt
Made me feel happiness again

There's everything I want in you
But your still stuck on the edge

And she can’t see ee ee
The way you still feel for her

And it makes me cry y y
To know

And I haven't seen the sky in days
Catching glimpses of what we’re meant to be

And your words, are dry on my scree een
All your love, spend on, her


I won’t see you in school, anymore
At least, not until we’ve changed

And I know, I know its so so, hard
But please try, for me 

And I can see sunsets in your ey ey eyes
But they are so, faaar away.

Stars in the night sky
But they’re not shining for me.

And the sun, is so out of, reach
The cold is setting, in

Clouds are closing all around
And I don't want to die again. 

Wish I could find I way to guide you out

I try to remember life
Before it happened
And my mind comes up empty
Everything was a blur
Only fragments that I heard piecing back together the image in my head
A smile like cresent moon slashing though a dark night sky
A smile that I had learned to be hell bent against
For what she did
For what you don’t know
For the secrets we keep

I try to picture happiness
As if it was ever a thing
But when you put your arm around her and smiled like she was the sun on a rainy day
My shattered pieces turned to dust
And evaporated in the dry land inside me
The night before
I cried so hard my eyes hurt all that next day
I didn’t think I would ever see the light again

I try to think of what you see
In me
In her
In the looks you get
But when I tried and tried and tried to hold back my tears
Everyone converged on me

You need to stop
Thinking
You need to stop
Breathing
You need to stop looking the way you look
You need to stop talking the way you talk
You need to stop being you
It is too much
It is too different from everyone else
And no one likes a misfit
You need to stop being who you are
You need to stop walking the way you walk
You need to stop
Smiling
Laughing
Unless it’s on command
Because no man will ever love a misfit
You need to stop fighting for what you care for
You need to stop having a choice
You need to stop loving your family
Because they won’t matter to you in a couple years
Because no family can ever accept a misfit
You need to stop liking the people you like
You need to stop deciding on your sexuality
(Because you will only ever be one)
You need to stop being unique
So everyone will always be the same
And there will never be change

Someone save me from my broken teen soul
Where every piece is out of place 
And the stars will never align

Someone keep me safe at night
Where the cold and shadows can’t reach me
On the dark side of the moon

Someone tell me things will be okay
Even though I’ve heard it a million times
It sounds different when you say it

Someone make me laugh or cry
Because I am sick of not feeling at all
My heart a heavy stone in my chest  

Someone bring a little color into my life
Because right now everything is in black and white 
And I need a dash of vibrancy in this lonely place

Someone keep the demons at bay
Cuz I am the only one who can see them
And no one ever believes me

Someone please read this poem written at 4:02 in the morning 
Because if someone doesn’t 
I don’t know what to do
 

If a daily write 

or poem

or story
 
is each a persons voice,

there must be a voice for each day.

think of all those voices.

your voice can be called different things.

it is your right,

your charm,

your curse.

voices that weave stories 

or songs.

or silence 

which

still

has

a 

sound
 


 

My school experience.
Wrapped up nicely with no strings attached.
Where could that be?
My school experience is a very complicated thing that changes daily,
sometimes weekly,
depending on my mood.
Sometimes school is fun,
with interesting subjects and time to spend with friends during recess and lunch.
Other times,
it's a bore,
where I could fall asleep if it weren't for the hard table top.
Sometimes,
I just want to get out,
get out,
get out.
Run away and see the world.
But I know that school is so important.
If I enjoyed school,
then would I be talking about how I could sleep during math class?
Maybe.
School has its ups and downs,
its lefts and rights,
and most of the time,
I'm half blind,
learning things that will help me later in life and wondering
"What in the world will I use unit 3.5 in algebra for?"