Jan 01

i love you

i remember the exact words of the text i sent my friend when you left.
"help me, i can't breathe"
my eyes burned like never before.
my lungs were gasping for air like i was drowning in the dark sea.
my mouth, couldn't spit out words. 
i layed there, helpless and suffering. 
you said you loved me but couldn't handle us. 
i was damaged.
out of all the silent tears i cried for you, i managed to let the words "i love you" escape from my mouth,
 i told you a secret that nobody else knew. 
 just like that you were gone. 
and it hurts like hell,
yet i still want you.

 
Oct 29

you.


The days where the image of your face isnt in my head are the best.

I was almost happy.

You ruined a lot of things for me. 

You took away my innocence

My willingness to speak

You took the words away.

You brought pain.

You took away my trust.

My friendships

You destroyed my reputation, and permanently broke a part of me.

I’m the one who has to suffer.

Apparently, all the good girls go to hell.

The only good days I have are the ones without you.

I don’t want to let this get to me but I can’t control it can I?
 
Jul 29

you've filled the missing piece of me.


Three years and not a single thing has changed.

The four seasons have passed twelve times.

We’ve grown older. 

We’ve made mistakes and got into trouble. 

But we never lost each other. 

Through everything we’ve been through we've managed to circle our way back to each other. 

Like an unbreakable force that has yet to be reckoned with. 

We’ve stood by each other in a time of need, building each other up.

We’ve gone through cycles of arguing and anger but we’ve managed to get through it all. 

But we are getting stronger, our feelings for each other are increasing. 

You claim to have fallen in love with me just by hearing my voice. 

“i love you”  is such a cliche, it is used excessively. 

But with you it’s different.

Those words come alive. 

Because with you, it means something. 
May 01

The Thunder Rolls

For it was 2:45 am,

She was sitting there,

Alone in the dark.

Shifting back and forth upon the rickety wooden rocking chair.

Her hair swaying in the little breeze that intruded through the windows of her rustic log cabin.

The wind was raging and the rain shed like tears down to the ground, thudding against the wood of the roof.

The house was silent.

She was waiting for him, for some sort of relief that it was just a bad storm.

But when the clock struck three, dim and faded headlights shone through the cracks of the door frame.

She sat there aimlessly, waiting for the seconds to pass before he walked through the door.

He tried to be silent, to cover up the footsteps of his boots along the floor.

There was a shadow coming towards her, increasing in size and he turned the corner to see his wife sitting there,

With a tear plunging down her face.
Apr 23

...

Mar 20

Soulmate


He’s standing on this earth right now.

Breathing,

Thinking.

It could be someone standing right next to me.

It could be someone halfway across the world.

That person is alive right now,

Living life.

My teacher thinks he’s a sophomore currently.

He’s taller than I am.

We’ll be happy, a good family.

She believes he plays guitar,

We complement each other and our music.

We aren't jealous of our different skills.

He has blonde hair.

He wants to live in the country.

He drives a black truck,

A Ford.

I wonder if this is true,

If I really will end up with someone like that.

It seems so perfect.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.  
Mar 14

Hellos from Heaven


I remember it so clearly.

It was about four pm,

Golden hour in the beautiful town of Orford, New Hampshire.

My mother was gone,

Trying to find you,

To figure out what happened.

Everything was on the news that night.

I was at my grandparents for the week,

Staying there to visit.

I was going on a run down river road,

My grandmother not far behind me, talking to family friends who stopped by in a red Chevy.

Everything there was so still.

The sun shined golden though the long grass, The deer were in the corn field.

You could just barely see the covered bridge in the distance.

I never knew how dark and upsetting everything would become,

That the blue skies would turn grey to me,

To all of us.

I had music playing on my phone,

When my music stopped,
Mar 05

deleted

Jan 29

The Fault in Our Stars


I stood there,

Watching him...

He looked  elegant just standing there

In his brown leather jacket.

His smile  plain,

But charming.

He took a packet of Marlboro cigarettes.

A sudden feel of wrath took over my mind,

How could he possibly light a cigarette in front of a person who has lung cancer?

Cigarettes cause lung cancer.

He could see the upset expression I had on my face.

He said, “Hazel Grace, they don’t kill you unless you light them. And I’ve never lit one.

It’s a metaphor you see,

You put the killing thing right between your teeth,

But you don’t give it the power to do its killing.”

My face went blank.

He had stunned me.

He always finds a way to stun me.

I will always remember Augustus’ Waters perfect metaphor he used to save my life.

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