Mar 03

Work in progress (I have no name yet)

          The world was normal. One minute I’m walking down the halls of my school, the next I’m waking up to see myself surrounded by overgrown green. The world was silent. I try to sit up, but my body refuses to move. I don’t remember anything that happened except seeing a bright light. A warm feeling enters my body and the scent of fresh air takes me to a new world. What is this place? My bones creak and my muscles groan but I ease my way off the ground. I grab a nearby rock to help stabilize myself. It feels like years since I’ve moved. The light makes me squint but I get a decent look at my surroundings and fear settles in. I know this room. It was the art room in my school. I was on my way to class when I saw that light. I look at the rock I grabbed and realize it’s not a rock, but a broken off piece of one of the tables in the room. I stumble backwards at the sight of all this. My feet lose their grip and I fall on the ground. This time it’s easier to stand up.
Dec 16

The Introverts Chapter One (So far, it's not done yet)

Prologue
    They didn’t expect it to happen like that. They wondered what life would do to them after. They feared life more than ever. They lived in a world of caution. No one was able to rebuild themselves. They never had the chance. They rebuilt their little area, only to keep them safe. Safe from the outside world. Safe from life itself. Little did they know, they never could protect themselves from him. Nothing held him back. Not even a wall of cement. He walked through everything; and when he decided that a person should be gone, they’re gone. The only thing left of them is their cold, rotting, dead body. No one actually knew he existed, no one except the ones who hid. Four children. They were the only ones who knew about him. 
 
Chapter One
Dec 08

Self-Worth Quotes

"Through self-doubt, we lose our sense of self-worth" ~ Author Unknown
This is a true event from my life that reflects this quote.
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I was nervous about musical roles. I started to doubt myself thinking I definitely wouldn't get the part. The next week when I found out, I doubted myself so much. I found out I had gotten Who Family #1. I was devastated. I cried for the whole bus ride home. I started to doubt my ability which led to me doubting myself. I ended up putting myself down the rest of the night. I put my self-worth in a very rough position the next few days after that. My self-doubt about my ability left me torturing my self-worth.
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Nov 26

When Hope Fails

Hope. Hope is with all of us. It reaches to higher limits then we know of. Sometimes it becomes to much. Sometimes it learns its limits. Sometimes it's cautious. Sometimes you loose hope. Sometimes you begin to rebuild that hope, only to loose all your progress. Hope shatters. Hope breaks. Hope leaves. It may never come back. You have to continue on anyway because in the end, no one cares. Experience has taught me to never have hope, it always gets crushed. So why do I still have hope? Why do I think I'm finally good enough? I know I will never be good enough. So why do I keep trying? Why do I try so hard just to fail in the end? Why? Why? Why? Why do I continue to break myself into pieces? Why won't anyone listen to me? Why won't anyone care? I have to care for the ones who break. My feelings don't matter to anyone. They shouldn't matter to me. I can't do that anymore. I need someone to listen. Just one person. One. That's all.
Nov 21

The Dimming Light


Darkness.
Light.
It's leaving.
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to be alone.
Please don't leave.
Please don't walk away.
Please don't dissapear.
I need you here.
With me.
To keep me safe.
To shield me from the dark.
I'm afraid.
So so afraid.
I can't move.
I'm frozen.
The light dissapears into thin air and the darkness engulfs me.
Nov 20

The Darkness That Surrounds Me

I lay in my bed, my head resting on my pillow. The house is silent, yet I lay sleepless. Thoughts race around my head as I toss and turn. I look up at my clock, 10:30 pm. "It's so late, and I have school tomorrow." I think to myself, but I still lay wide awake. I turn towards my wall and shut my eyes. My thoughts begin to race around quicker and my eyes shoot open. I sit up to calm down. It has appeared. Tonight of all nights. In my mind I envision running. Running. Running. Endless running down an endless hallway as the darkness chases me. It's to quick for my weak legs. I stumble over my own feet and fall to the ground. The darkness engulfs me and I sit there, shivering in fear. Motionless. I wake up from my imagination and allow the darkness to control my brain for a while. "Maybe if I let it stay today, it'll leave tomorrow" I mumble. Worry. Fear. Sadness. Anger. The thought of happiness disappearing. Laying again, I fall deeper into the abyss.
Aug 15

Fifteen words that make me

Aug 14

Sexuality

I'm a lesbian, and I'm proud of it. I'm also a christian, in fact my dad is a pastor. It's a very difficult thing to be part of the LGBTQIA community while in a very christian family. My family loves me and accepts me. I believe that love is love and it doesn't matter what gender you love. I also find that it's funny how christians say that being gay is a sin while they also believe that God created humans to be exactly how they are. Some people disagree with the "decision" to be gay. It's not a decision or a lifestyle. Maybe for some people it is a lifestyle, but not me. It's just how I was made and how the many other people in the LGBTQIA community were made. It's completely okay to be gay.
Mar 27

Gender?

3/25/19


I was only walking down the hall, trying to get to class. All the sudden, "Dude why did you walk up next to HER, or HIM, or whatever IT is"
I came to the sudden realization they were talking about me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I started walking faster while they continued to argue about what gender I was. Nothing could be worse than that. 


3/26/19


Something worse happened. I was told I wasn't important. Later on in the day, I go to the school counselor and talk to him. A friend and I had recently gotten into something that no one should have to go through. He said that if I don't feel good about myself around her that I should consider not being friends. I'm thinking about it.

 
Mar 19

Wish

   She wakes up on Saturday morning, unable to move.
Questioning her existence.
Wondering why she lives here. 

   No time for breakfast.
Woke up too late.
At least that's what her mom says.

   Schools nothing any better. 
Stress, pain, bullies, and sadness.
She sees the world differently from others.

   The world is dark and gloomy. 
No sound comes to the ears.
No light comes to the eyes.
Only darkness.

   She was deaf.
She was color blind.
She was depressed.
Nothing could save her from the world that engulfed her.

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