Sep 10
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Aug 13
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For My Older Sister

You were brisk with your walking
Ignoring Oregon, and all unsaid
Before the goodbye
I fell behind admiring a slug
Knelt to let it crawl across my palm
I imagined your toys
Dusty, in our attic of ancient things

Your next hike was without me 
For my stomach was slurring with slugs
Alone, I lay in the van
And felt the slime inside me
I should’ve asked you to stay

Remember when we freed photos from magazines?
And taped model faces to the van walls
It was our renovation, decorations
When you could drive we’d live in here

If I begged you to stay
We could play pretend
Be vagabonds
All we’d need to know is the road
We’d empty out the college textbooks
And use your bag as a boat
Floating forever
On the sea that sank time
Aug 07
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Growing Up

A Greyhound bus to Boston
And a hotel that smelled like mold
With water stains washing the walls
Everything 17 years too old

Backs pressed to the wall of the museum
Hoping people would analyze us as art
I saw myself in every painting
I was Watson and I was the shark

I got lost among the city streets
Thought I was smart enough to navigate
But I'm never enough enough
The sun is setting and I am so scared
Jul 30
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What if we held a scrap of the fabric of the world
And put it to our face to feel it’s ragged softness
I saw you standing in the library
Leafing through To The Lighthouse
I could’ve kissed you there
Ripped the pages from your spine
We could’ve killed each other
Changed each other
I’d wash your coffee stains off my sheet
But you put the book back and walked away
Now my hands are empty
Nothing to have or hold
But that’s just as well
For what would I do without this wanting?
Jul 07
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The sky! The sky!
Morning orange kisses the earth
It is beautiful for it is something
The other nothings and I admire the sunrise

I've built a house in my mind
With all the sensory details that comfort me
Mold growing in a garden on its walls
Painting peeling off to spiral softly down
Tuck me in beneath the floorboards
Where the world will not touch me
Sip your tea and hear my heartbeat

May 19
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Fairy Tale Retelling: Brother and Sister

       There once was a brother and sister whose mother was the most beautiful witch. She tied flowers into the sister’s hair and taught them to make potions. Though the brother did not believe in magic he enjoyed the smell of herbs and watching the cauldron bubble. Their mother was taken before her time, and they always wondered what a kind woman had done to deserve such an illness.
May 08
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May 08
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Is it the same boat we row round the sun?
I'd rather stay in a place time ignores
The hole we homed in, is it the same one?
Mine was warm enough, you'd never need more

Keeping me sleeping in rose-tinted dreams
Laid like a baby in your steady arms
Now you're chasing change, I'm sewing your seams
Linger a little longer, safe from harm

Leaves free in the wind, stuck in the gutter
You're always leaving, everything ending
Tethered to my tree, still the same color
Autumn takes on which I was depending 

You have to stay yourself, stay here with me
I have to find something better to be
Apr 15
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Saying Goodbye

How I have loved you for nothing at all
With wild hopes you'd give me all you offered
Love is the only cure for feeling small
Am I to write the life left unauthored?

Promises of comfort on couches kept
And peaceful sleep in your arms beneath stars
To wake with the earth, grown cold while we slept
Why couldn't you save some warmth to have as ours?

I tried to find meaning inside of me
Tried to slip it off others sneakily
Stealing meaning from pant pockets at sea
My hands in my heart, grasping at nothing

How you have loved me, I know it was tough
Though I needed more, you weren't enough
Apr 06
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Dried Flowers

    Jon walked home from the grocery store, the brown paper bag heavy in his frail hands. He hardly went out anymore. When he did he studied the empty houses on his street, a ghost of the friendly neighborhood he had known as a young man.

    Jon put the cucumber in the fridge and wondered if it too would grow rotten with neglect. He settled into his recliner and turned on the tv. A game show, mute because the sound made his head hurt. A family was jumping around, hugging each other, they must have won something.