Apr 08
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Savior Complex

It's hard to hold any man
who reaches out with empty hands
Waiting in the water
until it takes him
Wading in my arms
til we go under

When we freeze on winter streets
he sees the trees as skeletal
arms about to squash him
I couldn't change
the season just to save him

Tucked into a warm cafe
on our last date
Far on the other side
of our small table
Drowning in our empty plates
forks and knives, cold silver blades
I'm selfish for his sound
So he's silent
Dec 27
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Low Tide

I was born from desire
My heart sloshing in my chest
Ready to erode everything
Suck people in and spit them out
Their bones bleached clean

It is night, for now, the water is still
My feet sink into the sand
Keeping me cooly in one place
I slip shells into my pocket
Wading into the sea
With its power to give
And its need to take
Wondering if I too will be pulled under

I shout my longings to the endlessness of blue
Let them sink into the deep
Let me want nothing but this beach
This momentary peace
Where I lap quietly on the shore
And nap beneath the stars
A pause from my tossing and turning
Dec 13
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Missing Summer

Oct 22
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Older Photos

Oct 21
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Fall Photos

Sep 10
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Aug 13
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For My Older Sister

You were brisk with your walking
Ignoring Oregon, and all unsaid
Before the goodbye
I fell behind admiring a slug
Knelt to let it crawl across my palm
I imagined your toys
Dusty, in our attic of ancient things

Your next hike was without me 
For my stomach was slurring with slugs
Alone, I lay in the van
And felt the slime inside me
I should’ve asked you to stay

Remember when we freed photos from magazines?
And taped model faces to the van walls
It was our renovation, decorations
When you could drive we’d live in here

If I begged you to stay
We could play pretend
Be vagabonds
All we’d need to know is the road
We’d empty out the college textbooks
And use your bag as a boat
Floating forever
On the sea that sank time
Aug 07
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Growing Up

A Greyhound bus to Boston
And a hotel that smelled like mold
With water stains washing the walls
Everything 17 years too old

Backs pressed to the wall of the museum
Hoping people would analyze us as art
I saw myself in every painting
I was Watson and I was the shark

I got lost among the city streets
Thought I was smart enough to navigate
But I'm never enough enough
The sun is setting and I am so scared
Jul 30
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What if we held a scrap of the fabric of the world
And put it to our face to feel it’s ragged softness
I saw you standing in the library
Leafing through To The Lighthouse
I could’ve kissed you there
Ripped the pages from your spine
We could’ve killed each other
Changed each other
I’d wash your coffee stains off my sheet
But you put the book back and walked away
Now my hands are empty
Nothing to have or hold
But that’s just as well
For what would I do without this wanting?
Jul 07
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The sky! The sky!
Morning orange kisses the earth
It is beautiful for it is something
The other nothings and I admire the sunrise

I've built a house in my mind
With all the sensory details that comfort me
Mold growing in a garden on its walls
Painting peeling off to spiral softly down
Tuck me in beneath the floorboards
Where the world will not touch me
Sip your tea and hear my heartbeat