we've all seen the dark and on occasion been swallowed whole by it our eyes leaking continuous streams and our feet failing to hold us up until we cant cry anymore and now we cant even crawl we've all seen the dark have all been tormented by the visions in our heads and seen the things that scare us most on repeat every time we close our eyes it's true we've all seen the dark but we've also seen the light and we know you can either give in to the dark or you can step into the light.
I can't say, that I'm afraid of many things in life. but hate scares me in a way that leaves you unsmiling for a week the hate that tears families apart and the hate that causes one country to drop a giant explosive on another killing countless the hate that only creates more of itself and leaves no room for people to love themselves or others hate that spreads like a poison invisible, unseeable under the skin of society hate for others that seeps under the doors of our subconscious and engranes itself into our brains until we go to far and remove them only to realize it wasn't black and white and maybe they had it worse hate for oneself that grows like a weed in one's heart it's roots wind tight around our self worth the pressure leaving excess statements worthless lies we stupidly believe "I dont matter"
It was my third or fourth birthday, if I recall correctly. I had been given a pair of small, green, frog faced rubber boots. I loved those boots from the second I saw them, I pulled them on and ran outside, to splash in the puddles. I remember my mother came outside too, she took my hand, and we jumped in the puddles together, hand in hand, with matching grins. The rain started sprinkling, and refreshing my upturned face. I danced around, trying to catch the raindrops on my tongue, if i could i think i would have tried to swallow the sky. I've always loved rain, the way it sounds pitter pattering on the roof, and in the summer, how amazing it feels to dance in the fallen clouds. The puddles it leaves afterwards, always make me want to jump in them, just to feel like a child again.
daydreams and cotton candy lolipops blue like the ocean glances that tell storries and spilled cranberry juice red like my blood apiphinies and the small, curious flames i manged to coax out of the wet wood orenge like the goldfish crumbs on my tshirt brooding thoughts and the image of grapes on a label of a tylinol bottle purple like the lavendar plant my mother loves so dearly freedom and the feeling i get when i run for what feels like forever green like a new leaf in the spring being prefectoinist and letting the sun warm your back as you draw your mind on a page on the porch yellow like a pikachu.
I am made of moonbeams and shaped by my craft the flowing words inside of me that I can never hold back I am unidentified mysterious and often quite mischievous who am I? well I am me I love and I laugh I smile and I have a mild pickle addiction I am random and magical I love who I love and I often scrape my knees on the pavement of time falling over backwards and drinking cold tea I am spontaneous dorky and fun I throw open doors and down hallways I run till I'm aching and my rib cage feels like its breaking from the wild beat of my heart sometimes I'm a fish swimming all day not into getting tan I laugh and I play with the waves letting them bury my feet in the sand sometimes I'm a bird I fly till I'm tired and then I sit in a tree watching the world
home. such a confusing thing for me home is not a place though if i had to choose one id say vermont home is long grass swaying in the breeze just waiting for children to come run through it with bare feet in a wild game of tag home is my mum's hugs and the feeling i get when my father says he's proud of me like there's no ceiling to my joy it just keeps going home is the smell of lentil soup and pachuli sweet and insense like home is how their smile lights up my world and iluminates all the dark corners of my fears shooing my worries away home is coming back after a long day having my younger siblings run to the door and wrapp their arms around me saying they missed me "soooooo much!!" home is all the people I love home is all the things i know well finding home is finding happieness
Things fade from view all that's left is you not even it's a silhouette only a shadow of the person I knew where are you? lost in the maze of your mind trying to find your sanity but now you wonder if you ever had any imprisoned in glass caged in these walls you and I are the same don't you see? can't you tell? i am your reflection your twin never born the same face and same mother same home to keep me warm on the other side of the glass I am you I know what you've done I've seen how you cry yourself to sleep and I do the same every night when you live in your regrets your hopelessness trying to swallow you up I know what you dream about I know what you think how you wish you were not how you are and why you only sing to an empty room I am the you in the mirror,