Sep 29
SienaS's picture

Childhood Daydreams

I remember being a small child
with no worries.
Life seemed so simple.
 
All that happened was 
playing, laughing, and having fun
with an occasional tantrum 
or scream,
or cry. 

I remember when I didn't care
who liked me 
and who did not. 

Now I have trouble 
accepting that not everyone
will be my friend. 

I remember how happy I used to be
to jump around in my little red rain boots
during a rainstorm,
getting so completely soaked from head to foot,
that my mother wouldn't let me come inside. 

I remember when I didn't care what I looked like,
when my body was simply how I interacted with the world. 
   
I remember wishing I was older,
wishing I could have a job,
and do all the things children can't do. 
    
But now I wish I could go back to those times. 
Life was much easier back then. 
Sep 29
SienaS's picture

The Art of Laughing

She taught me to laugh,
head tossed back 
hair cascading down my back. 

She taught me to laugh, 
the loud happy sound
reverberating off of every surface
in the room,
drawing the eyes and ears 
of everyone in the room.

And most importantly,
she taught me to laugh
in a way that
makes  me feel 
like I am flying. 

Arms outstretched, 
wind pulling gently 
at my clothes, 
my hair, 
my soul. 

She taught me
to live without 
a care 

and to find little 
moments of joy
that are always 
surrounding us, 
if we look for them.
Sep 13
SienaS's picture

Lavender, a piano, and you

Dried lavender, 
fresh lavender, 
growing lavender, 
scents of lavender
waft through your whole house
relaxing my every muscle. 

Soft piano music comes from the center of the house, 
gentle and smooth, 
greeting my ears with a soothing,
continuous hello and welcome. 

I can hear your fingers gliding softly over 
the keys of the grand piano, 
hands placing your fingers in 
seemingly effortless grace
that can only be established with 
years upon years of practice.
 
Your laugh floats delicately atop 
the music,
interweaving with the notes 
to create a beautiful harmony. 

I enter the room and a smile
easily slides onto your wonderful face. 

“Good morning,” your kind expression says
without you even having to open your mouth.
 
I come sit next to you, 
and lean into your warm shoulder. 
Jul 05
SienaS's picture

mirror mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all?

Not me? 

How do I fix that? 

Be kinder?

Okay I'll try that.

*****
Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all? 

Still not me? 

Be more popular? 

I think I can figure that out, thank you. 

*****
Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all?

Oh, I'm not even close? 

be prettier?

Okay, I will make myself skinny. 

If I can be skinny than I will also be more popular,
right? 

So If I'm skinny than I will finally be
the fairest of them all.

***** 
Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all?

Not me?! 

I have changed my personality,.

I never do anything for myself.

I do everthing I can to make other's like me.
Jul 05
SienaS's picture

The Journey in my Hole

My life became a dark hole, 
and instead of trying to escape, 
I started digging it deeper and deeper. 

At first I had a shovel
but people who loved me took it away, 
begging me to grab their hand and 
pull myself out. 

I turned from them, angry.
I started using my nails instead. 
I worked day and night for months.
 
I worked so hard my fingertips started to bleed. 
The hole got deeper and deeper, 
day by day. 

I was so focused on digging, 
I didn't even notice the people 
standing at the top screaming at me to stop. 

The blood spread from my fingertips to my whole hand. 
I kept on going as my hands got so red, swollen, and raw 
that I could barely feel them. 

But I had come so far. 
Too far to stop now. 
I thought if I kept digging it would somehow 
make things better. 

My progress started to slow, 
Jun 08
SienaS's picture

Never Enough

It's never enough.
No matter how much 
I try to change for you, 
it's never enough.

I want to be complimented by you.
I want you to admire me.
I want to be held in your arms
like a small child.

But I've gone so far
and you don't even care
do you?

And so I keep going,
searching desperately for what feels 
like the thing I need the most. 
Love.
Acceptance.
Acknowledgement.

I keep using behaviors 
that lead to excrusiating pain, 
in hopes that one day
it will finally be
enough for you. 

I watch myself 
as I slowly wither 
and shrink away,
until there is nothing left inside of me
but bones. 

The wind you sent
took my personality away,

And the knives you drove into me,
left me practically souless. 

I'm not living anymore,
I am only barely surviving.

And yet,
Apr 06
SienaS's picture

Dear Whitney

Dear Whitney, 
I miss you so much. 
I hate being apart from you. 
I miss your laugh,
and that evil smile you get when you are about to do something devious. 
I miss laying in a hammock and talking about the silliest things. 

You are such an amazing person.
I don't know how I got so lucky,
getting to call you my friend. 

You are so smart it is insane. 

You are the first person I alway ask for advice,
because you always know the right thing to say. 

Your personality is a light in this world, 
brighter than the sun in the middle of the day. 

Your laugh makes me laugh,
and your devious little plans 
make me smile 
(even if they end up with me getting whitewashed or worse...)

You make the world a better place, 
just by being in it. 

You are one of the kindest people I know. 

You fight for what you know is right, 

Apr 06
SienaS's picture

You are enough

We all have a disguise on. 

We are all forced to hide ourselves behind a mask,
making ourselves "socially acceptable". 
We all try to morph ourselves into something 
that wont be ridiculed and shamed. 

But why?
Why are we as a society so evil?
Why do we make fun of those who are content
Just because they don't fit our idea of "perfect". 

Why does there have to be one ideal, 
when is is physically impossible for us all to be the same? 
In fact, if we were all the same
life would be boring, 
and we would all feel as if we werent enough. 

Why do we only get acknowledged for our "flaws", 
and never complimented on our own unique beauty. 

Why are we corrupting the human race 
into a population of people who are feel like
they will never be enough. 

Well, I would like to tell all of you reading this
a message that nobody hears enough:
Jan 15
SienaS's picture

Illumination

The world isn't fair.

Nor is it nice.

Things are constantly thrown at our faces,

coming suddenly from behind a curtain of mist 

that nobody even knew was there. 

And as hard as you may try

to protect yourself and others

 from pain and hurt

both are an inevitable part of life.

Everyone struggles. 

Every.

Single. 

Person. 

That is part of what makes us human.

It is easy to feel alone in your pain, 

but others have experienced it too. 

You aren't the first. 

And you aren't going to be the last. 

You can't prevent it.

You can't stop it.

You can't “fix” it.

So what do you do?
Me, I turn to love.

I surround myself with people

who bring sunshine and light.

People who introduce

the sunrise after the 
Jan 15
SienaS's picture

Loving Yourself

Loving yourself is probably 

the most difficult thing to achieve.

People are constantly putting us down, 

talking behind our backs,

laughing at our "flaws"

and those messages become our thoughts.

Do you know anybody who 

truly and completely loves themselves?

I don't.  

We are surrounded by a society that tells us

we need to be

pretty, 

smart, 

strong, 

popular.

And as time goes on, 

these expectations just get higher and higher,

to the point where “acceptable”

is perfect beyond attainability. 

So how do we learn to love ourselves?


We have to be courageous and confident enough

to say we don't care what others think,

and truly mean it. 

We have to fight against stereotypes 

that are making us hate ourselves. 

Pages