Jan 11

first day of filming!!

i've been talking about this for months, and finally, here it is: we have officially commenced filming hazel's house. today i gathered together my three lead actors, got them into costume, applied their smeared eyeliner, painted my face white, and we trudged on over to my neighbor's house to film our first scene. we made a lot of mistakes, and filming a scene meant to be set at eleven o'clock in the morning at four o'clock in the afternoon did no favors to our lighting--not to mention that we ran out of time before we could film the second and more pivotal scene--but we have a scene. i took to the editing software and condensed it into a three minute clip--the first scene filmed in the entire movie. things are finally on the road, and it's both terrifying and wonderful. 
Jan 02

making a film: aaaaahhh

so as i mentioned, i have cast the entire film. both the leads are cast, the costumes are (almost) completely procured, and almost all the props are in place. however, there are a couple caveats. namely, one of our lead actresses is only in town until february--i don't yet know when in february--the woman whose house we're supposed to be filming in is really ill at the moment, and we're really only going to be filming on weekends. maggie, who's kind of my co-director, works on sundays so that gives us about six full days to film the entire movie.
Jan 01

new year

it's another decade and i still
have no idea who i am or where i'm going.
i'm still a jumbled bundle of fear and ambition
trying to find some way to pass my time. 
in a way i almost think i'm running out of it--
living in today's world, 
it feels like things are crumbling down on all sides,
i feel like there's a timer set
and it goes off when i'm twenty-seven
and if i want to do anything, 
i need to by then.
i have no sense of scale for the things i want to do
and no sense of what i'm really capable of, 
i make grandiose plans of creating works of art
and delay creating them because i'm afraid
and i am afraid. 
because so many clocks are ticking. 
my lead actress is only in town until february. 
global warming is only giving us twelve years before time runs out. 
i have only two years before i go to college. 
i have so many plans, 
there is so much i want to do
Dec 29

making a film: FINALLY!

i fINALLY cast the part! after months of asking as many people as my friend maggie and i could think of, the actress playing marie offered up her older sister--who said yes!
my movie is cast! i can finally move ahead like i was planning to! we only have her until february so filming is going to be a bit of a crunch but we cast the part

there's really not much more to say here in terms of updates because i have yet to make a filming schedule, but i figured this was a big enough deal to warrant mention. updates on filming schedule/day one of filming soon (hopefully) 
Dec 07

making a film: it's been a while!

pictured above: more costume shopping, some at-home papier-machéing, and cutting my own wig bangs. not pictured: costume tryons and an emergency recast. 

so it's been a while since i offered any updates on the production process for my movie, hazel's house. first i was in a play that sapped all of my time and energy, then i was exhausted from having been in the play and then i sort of forgot i was doing it during the week of thanksgiving break. but i've returned now with many updates, including that we're ready to start filming!
Nov 09
audio 2 comments challenge: Hazel

barnaby's house

another song from my experimentation with the kind of stuff i want for the hazel's house soundtrack. this one is less terrifying--it coincides with the initial drive through hulcastle and the kids' first view of goddard manor so there's a little snippet of a theme that will become hazel's in there. i actually did this one with a metronome so it sounds like maybe it has a tempo! 
Audio download:
Barnaby's House.m4a
Nov 01

echoes pt 2

pt 1 is here
happy late halloween everyone! i meant to post this yesterday and then didn't and then i had no electricity most of this morning, so here it finally is! spooky story from my trip to ireland a few years ago. 

it was the tail end of my mother and i's trip to ireland. we had traveled all over the country before finally settling in the small and depressing village of mohill, in a house that had belonged to a distant relative. the house was so remote that it had no street name and no street number. we had to find it by written instructions and a google earth image of the house. we drove up a hairpin turn and down a narrow road ringed with hedges. 
Oct 28
poem 6 comments challenge: CJP-Guns


I wore high heels to school. 
and my mother said to me in the parking lot,
'be careful on the stairs.
and if something goes wrong and you have to flee,
just take off those shoes and run.' 
if something goes wrong,
take off those shoes and run

I said okay and I nodded because I have heard all this before. 
be prepared for the worst. 
if you have to run for your life in school, 
take off those pretty shoes and leave them. 

I should not be expecting to run for my fucking life in school. 
Oct 26
audio 4 comments challenge: Hazel

would anyone like an auditory nightmare?

so i know it's been a while since i posted music on here (the computer i had logic on crashed and it took me forever to reinstall plus i've been super busy) and here i am with something that's... not so much music as a collection of the most hair-raising synth sounds i could find in the sound library? see, i've been experimenting with the kinds of sound and music i'm gonna want for various scenes in hazel's house because that gives some direction to my endeavours and this one goes to the second seance scene, the one with hazel. if you want to get a little shot of adrenaline, or are feeling a little low on horrendous screeching noises then maybe this'll be fun. or terrifying. 

for maximum atrocity, listen through headphones
Oct 15

rabbit's heart four years later

i know this isn't really my usual fare exactly but i need to rant so... i guess that's what this is. i don't even know if it's appropriate to put on youngwritersproject as opposed to like a journal or something because it's not a poem or a work of art but just... i don't know, that's where my head is. 

i want to know what's wrong with me. i know something is, it's not normal to have heart rates at to 150 for up to a week at a time when there's no significant source of stress in your life. it's not normal to go to sleep with your heart racing and wake up with it still racing. extreme head rushes and ice cold hands and feet and legs puffing up when you sit cross legged for too long aren't normal.