I wait for winter
in her heavy white boots
and sharp sparkling nails
her 5th avenue white fur coat
and flushed pink cheeks
she wears black tights
taught over thin, toned legs
summer and autumn
watch her in envy
as she walks by 
both still round and supple
winter doesn't smile
she only glances knowingly
at the people who see her
dripping in cold superiority
spring trails behind her
clinging to winters milky hand
whith her own bitten, pastel pink nails
and chubby fingers
I wait for the cold embrace of winter
the heavy nights she brings
the comparisons and insecurity
the designer sweater I will borrow 
and forget to return
the white dusrting 
she leaves on each bathroom counter
her season in the city will begin
as it always does
quietly
until her dinner parties
shut down schools and subways
and eventually tabloids fill

My deep tangled roots
Twisted into knots
Running cross country
Are dragging towards the ocean
Yearning for the sun dripping down
Over wet seals bodies
In warm embrace
I want nothing to do
With this life
Today,
I am somewhere else

 

The rain has found its way
Onto our mountain
Drenching each new bud
Reaching for life 
In the foggy air
Smothering their joyous cries
As mud seems to engulf us
One 
By one

 

There's this beauty in the unknown outside my window
Dark and heavy
As though miles beneath the water
Where everything is quieter, slower
Except for a few stars
There is nothing
I wonder 
If I were to climb down from my room
And walk along the frozen stream
What I would find
Is there some secret she hides from us in the night
Some unknown breath
Causing mountains to silently shift
And trees to shake free of their snow
If maybe I would sink down down down
Into snow that would cover me like a quilt
And I could finally hear her whispers
Of the geese soon to fly home
And the sun over silver lake
She would wear the moon draped over her shoulders
And walk among stars
Pondering
Where it would rain the next day
And if she would send the winds out to play
As the world spun
And we slept in our beds
She would drift
Here and there

Move slowly
And find your footsteps crunching in the snow
Whisper to the wind 
Who you love
Finding the hemlocks
Bending to embrace you
Winter woes 
Are buried deepest
But will we ever find anything else?
The world so never-ending
Has me dizzy

 

The perfume bottles on my dresser
Are waiting for me to spill them
And my pink Converse
The ones with hearts drawn on the soles
Are anticipating the next time I trip over my own feet
Things are interesting here in the fog
Dreamy
But somehow
I still feel the blood pumping through my body each minute
As it rains today
I’m choosing to believe 
That I’ll be washed away at some point
And fall asleep on the forest floor
Until trees curl around me
And pull me into their tangle of roots
So I’ll vanish
And maybe that will be easier

 

The moon leaves freckles on my wall at night
And the photos from last summer are slowly fading 
Their edges turning golden
A candle I lit once has turned my room into a bath of peppermint
And I’m okay with it
The wind is raw in the mornings
So I wear mittens and a scarf
I still shiver
But at least it feels like I’ve tried
School is endless, though seems to be over in the blink of an eye
It’s quiet in the afternoons
And I find myself falling asleep before it’s even dark
I wake to trudge downstairs for dinner 
And then float my way back to my warm bed
Where I will forget everything I learned in biology class
And awake the next morning to the same silence as today
 

Four girls dancing through the forest
Choosing to ignore the darkening clouds
They are beautiful and naive
Soon to find the death and darkness
They smile
And walk on
 

when the world
Is so entirely slow
And beautiful
It rains
And I walk for ages
Picking flowers
And ferns
Choosing to forget
All that must be done
When I return

 

Oh, a girl can be beautiful!
A girl can be witty and wonderful
With delicate hands
And a face of gold
But the world
Oh, the world
Will tell her she is terrible
They will tear her apart
And she will sew herself back together
Eventually
But the scars will still be there