Feb 18

Running

In middle school I ran
on the cross country team
and for a while it was
the best thing in the world.
I crossed the finish line
always with a smile
no matter where I placed.
But as my team's reputation
for winning every race grew
the pressure put upon us
well that grew too.
In seventh grade
I had my first panic attack
in the middle of the woods
in the middle of a race
sobbing and choking
on sticky saliva.
The anxiety only 
got worse in eighth grade
and I don't know if
I'll ever run on a team again.
I love to run but
it wasn't the running
it was the competition
the pressure put upon me
by my teammates
by myself.
I still love to run
but I only run for me
not for a shiny golden trophy
that will sit in a case.
I run for my health and
for my own wellbeing.
I run only for me.



 
Feb 17

Waiting (for February Break)

There's a certain pain
in knowing that something
that you intensely desire
lies right around the corner
and the only thing you can do
is wait as patiently as you can
It begins to occupy every thought
and you start to fantasize about
boarding the airplane and 
flying across the sky (whee)
stepping off and seeing
open arms of grandparents
and beautiful palm trees
In class you start to think
about swimming in the pool
and wearing shorts (halleluiah)
and during the night
your dreams are filled
with amazing visions 
of things long lost to 
this world of ice and snow
like grass and leaves
and all things green (squee)
And when reality returns
you're left feeling quite blue
and you can't wait for the day
when these fantasies come true
(just gotta get through the week)
Feb 17

Doodling

In school
as I'm taking notes
I doodle
all over my notes sheet

In class
as the teacher lectures
I doodle
all over my desk

At home
as I listen to an audiobook
I doodle
on my homework

And when
I actually try to draw
I discard
every single drawing
 
Feb 16
poem, fiction 3 comments challenge: Shy

Shy Girl

She is invisible
watching the world
with her big blue eyes
from behind a curtain
of white-blonde hair
She never speaks
except to apologize 
in a quiet voice
that is easily
overpowered
Sometimes
she wishes 
that she could be
loud and confident
like her extrovert friends
But there is a beauty
in her silence
and her quiet grace
There's a look in her eyes
that shows wisdom
behind the meekness
and when someone
is hurting
she eases their pain
with her quiet words
and empathy
She is shy
but her personality is strong
even if her voice
trembles





 
Feb 14
poem 0 comments challenge: Reach

Reach

If only I could reach a little farther

then I could finally pull away the clouds

I'd fill the days with sunshine and laughter

and maybe then the world would smile again

If only I could reach a little farther

then I could make the moon show her face

her pale light illuminating the whole world

and maybe then the darkness would fly away

If only I could reach a little farther

I'd make the sprinkling stars shine their lights

the beauty of the galaxy around us

reminds us that not everything is lost

 
Feb 13

Years

In the process of growing up 
there comes a moment
when you finally realize 
how short a year really is

Sometime around the
end of middle school
you count out the years
and see that college
is just around the corner

That's the moment when
you're no longer a child
when the years feel like
they just slip right by
and you feel that 
it's all going too fast

When you were a child
a year dragged on 
and a week was even
too long to wait for something
and your birthday was a novelty

It's all a part of growing up
along with many other realizations
like how the word seems
to stop revolving around you
and how you suddenly want
the help that you used to scorn
when you were smaller
but you can't have it now

The years continue
to increase their speed
as it all becomes relative
and you get used to it
Feb 13

Falling Asleep

My body is exhausted
but my brain is wide awake
reminding me of all the things
that I need to do tomorrow
and all the things
that I didn't do today

My brain makes up stories
as I wait for sleep to take me
brilliant stories that turn into dreams
and I never realize that I fell asleep
until it's time to wake up
and start the day

 
Feb 13

Things To Do Before You Die

1. Have some kind of pet
2. Bike to an ice cream place
3. Visit a candy shop with friends
4. Have an animal eat from your hand 
5. Read a whole book in one day
6. Learn to ride a horse
7. Fly on an airplane
8. Be in a play
9. Keep a diary
10. Win something
11. Drive a go-cart
12. Redecorate a room
13. Visit New York City
14. See a Broadway performance
15. Have a friendship photoshoot 
16. Write a meaningful letter 
17. Read a book at the beach
18. Fall asleep in a hammock
19. Exercise at the gym
20. Try an exotic food
21. Ride on a train
22. Hike a mountain
23. Play volleyball
24. Visit an art museum
25. Go to an aquarium 
26. Dye a bit of your hair
27. Attend a fancy concert
28. Do something that scares you
29. Go on a road trip with your friends
30. Learn about something that interests you
 
 
Feb 13

Star Girl Image

Feb 11

Little Brother

He speaks
the language
of music 
He hears
the notes
before they
are even played
He lifts his voice
with confidence
and the pitch
is sure
I cannot
even comprehend
the way he
hears the notes
thinks the notes
knows the notes
and holds them
in his mind

He is quick
when it comes
to numbers
and he thinks
of it like a game
in which he moves
and manipulates
the digits to his will
Far advanced
is his mathematic mind
and someday
he will surpass me
his older sister
a thought of which
I am not fond
but it
is indeed true
he sees numbers
throughout the world
and connects them
in his head
quickly 
confidently
too confidently
sometimes

But he does not
speak the language
of normal humankind
his words 
bubble out 
of his mouth

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