Apr 02

Drip- a poem about MTF jealousy.

arms out,
head down

release the
small water drops

from my,
burdened arms

but,
it is my head

that gets the pain.

daily,

i am reminded
of my non female body

and that is why
my arms drip

i daydream
of the beautiful

female

body

i yearn for

and when i voice
my jealousy

to those who i wish
the body of

i am met with the
same
dumb
response

"no girl enjoys her period"

no girl,
you say?

and what of the one
of the many

who envy
that "cursed" area in which this
"monthly cramp"
comes from

who envy
the curves
of a developed
female

who envy all
that is

female

my arms drip for my jealousy
Mar 27

Fogged

I've fogged up the mirror
Can't see any clearer
The body that pains me
When I take a shower

Might just be my top half
But it still hurts on my behalf

Please be more sensible
Know this is the truth

Trans kids have it hard
No, its not only you

 
Feb 26

optimist

even the sun makes shadows
we cant all be perfect
we cant all be flawless
and without those shadows
you're actually further from perfect
because those so called flaws
are what make you somewhat perfect
even the sun makes shadows
 
Feb 26

temperature change

Feb 22

Winter oxygen

We walk the brisk winter field,
following the steps of those before us.
I doff my aired out mask,
and inhale the frosty draft.
The animate cold greets the roof of my mouth
and travels through my throat.
My lungs fill, as the air hits my inner self.
It feels nice.
Jan 20

Universe in my fingers

Sometimes I put my fingers together and stretch them
As long as I can, and see the biggest shape I can make
Stretch my joints until satisfaction.
My linked bones holding that shape warmly.

But recently I thought,
What if you were to open that hold?
Have the whole universe between my brittle bony limbs

Own so much, for so little
Jan 20

Scratching ember

I have a thing
You could say I own it
The "grandmas ugly urn" of my heart
Don't want it and never did
Always looking for a solution, a way to get rid of it
But yet,
Whenever I check its still there in me
Itching for a response.
 
Dec 08

pain

a hole in your world
banging hard
cry out
denied of safety
evil mistress
fails to fly
gets torture
hail the queen
i want to help
joker poker
killing mostly
love is fake
many casualties
no mercy
open your eyes
people screaming
questions not adressed
roaring flame
soaring pain
the world is broken
u have no safety
vainglorious people
with your souls
you have no safety
xforce gonna get you
zzz goes the sleeping corpse
 
Dec 08

the world is so small

is our world big enough?
for all the feelings were feeling?
they are so strong
and dirt and stone are weak

is the world deep enough?
for all our hard long questions?
they are so necessary
but they feel so overwhelming

it's days like this when we need the whole
WORLD
to withstand the feelings we feel

we need to make space
for each others feelings


make that space.
Nov 10

The Wax Figure

(Written like a song)

She was molded,
melted
Put into a shape
Made into a form
and burned out every day
She has the scars,
She has the marks
She has the pain.
She has the beauty
But outside that she's wax.
The feared orange glow,
Of every party
The feared burning slow,
Of every day.
Melting, melting,
Harden.
Each shape special but cursed
She wails and crys never heard
The...
Wax...
Fi-gure.

And after that...
what is left?
She sits in her home
accepting the new bo-dy.
But really inside...
it is a bur-den
And she would rather leave it behind!
Its the Wa-x Figure! 
Burned out every day
Its the Wa-x Figure!
Smells like ho-ney
Its... the...
Wax Figure!

 

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