(spoken word performance)

I once described myself as a river
I flow, I change, I fill spaces the way that they need to be filled. 
I am like a tree, reaching my roots into the ground, the dirt sliding up my skin
My hands and my arms are the branches, my fingers are the leaves, stretching up to the sky 
not to say, Look at me, here I am 
But to stay alive 
People hug me 
sometimes, when I let them 
People tell me I am pretty, and people tell me I am nice 
But when I am broken and crying on the bathroom floor 
They fade away 
Like a bell chime through the fog, there for hours and then 
gone
I once described myself as the sun
far away and distant, so pretty from down here
But up close, I am fire, and I am burning
From an indirect point of view, people tell me I am pretty 
But the closer you get the more you can see me writhing 
in my own skin
People say I am strong

(meant to be read out loud) 


It came when I didn't expect it, and it cried 
Like a child, it screamed longer than it should've 
and I couldn't ignore it, nobody could
Radiowaves crackled in a painful way this time,
like lies that hurt and that you can't ignore 
it blared an alarm like all my past mistakes 
saying pay attention, don't make the same mistake again 
My fingers hit the volume first 
turned it down, then turned it up when the never ending siren ended
Like a bell chime through fog, there for hours and then 
gone 
A quiet voice whispered in my ear 
Run, hide, the storm inside of you draws near 
I wish i could've called a friend 
And held a hand and held up my head 
but instead 
I bit my lip and looked away 
through the window at the rain 
I realize now that I was riding in a car heading north 
And that the sound was just the radio
It's as simple as that