Aug 13

Cucumber

My mom met someone 
Outside a church at 10:05 this morning
She came home with a crate full of cucumbers. 
I looked like one of those comic things 
where the characters eyebrows leave their head. 
I gave the crate of cucumbers a look, 
the sort of look one might give a cake that had fallen 
as soon as it left the oven. 
We all laughed.
This is what I love about our community. 
We help each other :).
 
Aug 10

Ewwww

I once spilt tears in bucketfuls 
but now I am as dry as an old neglected sponge
Sometimes I feel just like an empty sack of Ellie skin.
With no personality or opinions.
and I'm tired of it. 
Jul 08

Darling

You make me laugh. Wait. No.
Made. 
That's what past tense is: "is to was to I can't remember anymore".
Now you're just a shadow, splitting through my room in the morning, a contrast. 
Or maybe you're a moonbeam, slicing through my memory, planting flowers wherever there is pain. 
And hey.
It hurts that you're gone. Really
hurts.
Because all I can remember is the way you scowled at me when I accidentaly hurt you and I swear it was an accident
but you didn't care, you said I wasn't thinking.
It hurts becasue you were so, so right every dang time. 
But most of all, it hurts because I spent hours plucking the petals off a daisy, wondering if I'd ever get to call you 
darling. 
Jul 07

NONONONO


Last night I spent 6 hours
Standing in a white room
and hoping
that my great uncle
would live 
and not fix the deck that he's been working on 
and not call me anymore
because he's the one that I for some reason was afraid of
and then there was this cat that came and sat on my feet
I think it was my little bit of rebellion
and then what happened next is a bit of a blur
but I think it had something to do with 
a bowl of hot sauce 
I can still feel it burning my face
And then I was trapped behind chains and was being given everything I could want except freedom
and i was screaming so loudly i think i popped the man in the corners eardrum because he went doubling over in pain and then I started remembering 
that I had to write a music score and they wouldn't give me the materials and I wished 
really hard
to be somewhere else 
and I think my wish came true 
because then 
Jul 07

A message to the Out-Goers

How can you? 

I’m tired of asking the world that. I’m tired of watching people I care about make stupid decisions. I’m tired of hoping that things will get better. Most of all, I’m tired of watching my country fail. And we are failing. The work that some people have put in to stay home, stay safe, wear a mask, wipe things down, and be respectful of others has turned out completely irrelevent. We try hard to set an example for you, and yet you disregard us. For all that we’ve done, we do not exist because unfortunetly it hasn’t changed things. I was hopeful at one point, I think, but that was when people weren’t dying by the thousands. Now I’m just angry. 
Jun 24

Fissure

I don't want to grow up knowing that my world is dying. 
I don't want to thrive knowing my world is crying. 
Your horrible
awful
HUMAN
pain has driven this nail into the world that is my world. 
There is now a fissure so deep into it that I don't think it can
ever
be repared. 
 
Jun 17

What does that say about me?

You shouldn't feel so agitated.
The world is on the verge of breaking and all you do is sit here and imagine a friend who you haven't seen in almost a year coming to stay with you. Over and Over. The same scenarios play in your head - is this freedom?
But how can I ask myself that, when so many people are hurting and screaming for attention and relevance which they deserve. They really do and all I do it tell myself that it's
not
over
yet.
Over and Over and how can I be so quiet?
I tell myself that we as a world will solve this
but
will we really?
I don't want to grow up in a warring world.
I want to be proud of the universe I'm growing up in, and for the most part I am. But that pride doesn't extend universally.
I love my home.
I love my family.
I want to love the world, too, but how can I when all the people in it are turning cold and hard and bitter?
How can I?

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