Oct 15

Colors Bleed

Colors break

Break open on canvas, tremble in the presence of broken wings and brilliance
cry

Shed tears of maroon and velvet laced dresses, scream when they are found
stain

Leave fingerprints and blotches over my body, ripe and golden brown, bruised purple and midnight blue, all mixed into one,

Like tigers eyes except

 they are not beautiful

Colors Bleed

This is blue, nothing but soft and full, 
Polish and smooth
River water over opal stones

Here is green, biting and crisp
Intelligent eyes brimming with shadows
Secrets in the forest

Know this is orange, blooming large
Falling in leaves and sheets
And swirling in meltdowns around our feet

Now is white, softly alive
Scarves and bottles of perfume, shoes in a closet
Interlacing and combining

Purple is dreaming, capturing souls
Oct 14

This Is Me

i am of the sea, the stars, 
Fire
Of apple slices and flip flops, of flowers worn in dark curly hair
And the smell of soap....
i am of candles melted almost all the way, of heartbeats that come in waves, 
Of paper cups filled with crushed stained glass and burnt snickerdoodles....
i am of the voices heard at the bottom of a river…
You’ve heard them, haven’t you?
Of lilac snow and ginger candy , of sand kept in a jar
And shreds of sky hung on a clothesline….

This is me

Invisibility cloak for my soul, 
Don’t let anyone see all the way in
While most people just have a bird or butterfly for their spirit
i have a whole zoo, all rumbling in their cages
i have barriers, 
Learned to hide them well
so many walls have been put up, that no one can scale--
But mostly because they can’t always see them

This is me

Broken mind, broken soul
Oct 08

Impact


i’ve been wandering the river for awhile now

My toes whispering against its edge

i am lost and alone

A fifteen year old girl

Barely into high school, barely out of it

And there is worry, so much worry

Filling my lungs

The vapor curdling certainly doesn’t help

Obscuring everything so even the birds can't see

The sky is non existent

Or maybe it’s the headache that’s veiling my eyes

An old gyspy woman is watching me

Her pale eyes reflecting the water

She grabs my hand, her fingers cold

And murmurs

“What do you want?”

i can only respond in a whisper.

“A future.”

She nods

“So did I”

She melts into fog

And swirls away over the river

And i am lost and alone again

 
Oct 01

Lost and found


I've found someone who makes me happy
happier than I've been in a long time
the type of happy that bubbles off rooftops soaked in sun, blueberry pancakes, lemon tea
I've found someone I can really trust
I want to trust others but I can't
I've found someone who I can talk to and hold and love
and call them lovely and sweet and cute
I've found someone who I GET
And they get me
I've found someone who knows and understands
how broken I am
Becasue they are too
Neither of us are whole by ourselves
Broken spirit, broken mind, 
broken heart
And when we are together...
I've found someone who makes me whole
I've found someone who understands how much I want need to get away
Because they feel the same way
I've found someone who makes me feel calm and excited and sharp and soft all at the same time
 someone who touches my hand or face
Sep 30

My creature of fog

There was a creature of fog outside my window
Now it’s creeping in
First it tapped on the frosty glass

I think it knew it’d be subject to my writing

It came in feet first
I heard a slight rasping as the window scraped open
Its fingers grasped the sill as it unfurled itself
Lay down next to me, touched my face with fingers like cool silk
Gave a throaty laugh as I pulled out my pen

Think it knew it’d be subject to my writing

I traced my hands over its tattoos
The swirls and leaves that painted its shoulders
Its eyes were grey in the dark
The October wind spilled out from its pockets
Cool and warm and smelling of new old beginnings

It knew it’d be subject to my writing

There was a creature of fog outside my window
Now it's in here with me
After extracting itself from the veins of the sycamore leaves
Sep 23

A fragmented heart housing a dwelling of errors






So then

I guess this is it.

Here I am, 

Here we are. 

This is what this world is now I guess, 

A broken heart trying to beat and force out the broken glass

That corrodes the arteries and  makes it harder

To breathe.
And so we stagger, 

Our hands grasping at nothing but oh, it must be something.

Because surely

 this can’t be all that this world has to give us--

And try not to fall as we wander the skeleton

Of this old creaky house with

 the furniture covered in white dusty sheets,

bleached by the sun.
Sometimes we peer out of the warped glass windows

Bubbled and bloated from years of 

Ingesting conjunctions and pronouns.

We peep through the faded curtains, slightly parted

And glimpse what could be
Sep 21

Sweet dreams

I had a conversation tonight
with the Man in the Moon
I sat on the porch in my rocking chair
Everything was a distorted ghostly color, 
the perfect air enveloping me
was no longer rippling, no, in this light
it shimmered.
My hair in long waves around my face
went from sunset to greypurple

and we talked.
he showed me contentment
didn't let me worry
luxuriated with me under the stars.
My toes tingled with frost
and the wind, the perfect wind
sent tree shadows waltzing.
And still I sat
talking
with the Man in the Moon.

I had a conversation tonight
with the Man in the Moon
And oh, my friends, 
I cannot even begin to describe how perfect and magical and needed this night was.
But it WAS.
His glorious light danced off my wind chimes
Sep 20

Summer of 2021, but my 15

This summer
I drank flavored seltzer, clashing with ice cubes
Layed on the couch and in the grass with friends
our limbs tangled and intertwined

This summer
The overbearing sky and my skin
prickled with sweat and blackberries
Salt meets inoccent sweet
I
chased waves far out into the sea until my
feet couldn't touch and refreshing silk
numbed and calmed me
Made friends with seagulls and watched 
the golden light weave her fingers through the masts of ships

This summer
I hitched a ride on a country radio station
and found myself free
I made alien cupcakes
of pink, yellow, green
laughed as my 5 year old cousin
named one Arnold
then promptly licked off all the frosting

This summer
I held hands with my girls
and watched as all of us grew up a little more

This summer
I fell in love
Sep 15

Her Monday dump truck man

On Monday mornings

Usually when it’s raining

I see her
Long blond braids 

Tied with red, red that

Matches her raincoat, red

Like bleeding poppy flowers, red

Like Elton John lyrics
On Monday mornings

Usually when it’s raining

I see her
Perched on a gleaming 

Sky-washed rock, by the road

A cloth covered plate in her little hand
Waiting

For her dump truck man
Waiting for him to pull up

In his licorice red vehicle

And wave down at her

So she can walk up to the open door

And hand him the plate of food she’s prepared

 On Monday mornings

Usually when it’s raining

I see her
Waiting with him while he eats

The eggs and biscuits and

Sometimes bacon

Asking questions and tilting her head just so
Sep 14

Days

Tomorrow was like peeling an orange, I
removed the skin and exposed the bright
fragrant inside, pulled it apart and
let the sections burst between my teeth...

Yesterday will be like colored pencils, 
a sunrise over a candied hill, 
and looming thunderclouds in the ocean...

Next week was trying to candle a moment and then realizing that the wick isn't long enough so it won't burn and you'll never get it fully...

Last week will be like skyscrapers, 
huge and tall and housing many possibilities
while rain rainbows down their sides...

Today is like swallowing fire, 
broken verb in the present-past tense...

Today is layers upon layers upon layers of fabric,
each one a different color, each color
a different emotion.
But all of them are shades of blue, purple...

Today is iced-over eyes, distant blue.

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