Mar 15

If I were

If I were fearless, I'd tell you
That old songs make me think of you
That you remind me of a bluebird, and I can hear your voice
In quiet places

If I were high, I'd tell you
That I still dont know what color your eyes are, 
That somehow everything makes sense with you even though it shouldn’t, Id tell you
That I miss holding you, that
I wasn't expecting this when I met you
If I could, I'd tell you that I dont regret it

If I wasn't scared, Id tell you
That all the songs you send me are saved on a playlist 
I’d tell you that I’m scared of love because I hate goodbyes, but 
I think it’s too late now 

If I were stronger, tougher, maybe more kind, I’d tell you
That your texts make me smile, that time moves around us, 
I’d tell you that I screwed up, that I’m sorry, that you show up in my dreams, 
As cheesy as that sounds…
Mar 07


This house is never silent.
That's one thing I've noticed, unlike other places 
Here is never quiet.
The is no break, no pause, no stop, only Go.
Keep going, there's no time--
With certain people I allow myself to be tired, those who feel safe.
It's a moment to take a moment, not take a knee but stop and breathe.
but this house is silent, the globe in here 
never stops spinning.
Keep going, there's no time--
Take Now, don't let it go, this is your chance, all you get...
Take Now, take your time.
Laugh with friends, dance in the rain and 
all of this sounds totally cliche but
Hold the hands you want to hold, watch the grass and flowers grow
This house is never silent, this body is never still, always
Keep going, there's no time, NOW--
All we have is Now. 

Jan 23

For everyone

I’ll walk with you through the midnight rain

There may not be a place to shelter but I can offer you an umbrella 
After the sun has set and long before the birds awaken, I’ll walk with you
For as long as you need, slow or fast until you’re okay 
I’ll walk with you
Against the sky, with the sun, through the stars
When you can’t breathe, when your head hurts, when you’re too tired, then

I’ll lie there with you
For as long as you need, for as long as you sleep, for as long as you’re scared
I’ll stay with you
Whether it’s under evergreens or on your bedroom floor, 
Or somewhere neither of us knows …
I’ll lie there with you
Until you can get back up
And we’ll keep going
Through the midnight rain

I’ll climb with you
As high as you want to, try to catch a shooting star, count of three
You’ll never know unless you try 
Jan 23

The truth of us

Red string tied around my wrist, tied around yours, can you see the bow? 
My shoulders are sore, tired from the weight of this world 
“You’re just kids, so young”, is what they tell us so then why
Are our hearts so threadbare already…
I’m not the way I was, invisible cuts across this body–
Slowly being healed and new ones being opened and I am told to smile through it all
Because I
am a woman

No one wants to love a sad woman and so we swallow depression 
along with pills and champagne and we pray
That we did not bleed through our dress pants and we try not to cry 
As we are told we are beautiful and asked to send nudes while they measure our skirts, 
These are not as long as your fingertips, WHERE is your self-respect—

Red string tied around my wrist, tied around yours, can you see the bow? 
Tell him you love him, darling, tell her she is your world 
Jan 12

sometime in January

Lately in all my dreams my nose is bleeding 
and sooner or later I somehow bite my tongue and
the taste of copper fills my mouth but
I am not afraid until I wake up
Lately I have felt myself growing physically stronger but mentally
I am putting my walls back up because although I am gaining confidence 
I am still scared 
Lately he "Gave me an ultimatum", as if it was MY choice to have him chase after me for far too long, touch me when I didn't say he could
start fights over a relationship that didn't exist 
He "gave ME an ultimatum" and so I gave him an answer
I left
Lately I have seen yellow pansies bloom in the middle of this brown winter, bright spots of hope, something saying it's still okay and 
although I'm not sure I believe that, it 
reminds me why I'm still here
Lately I have started calling someone Love, in a way that I mean
Dec 12

To the person who has stolen my words without it hurting...I know you

I wanna see this world through your eyes 
I'm scared that it would feel like home, but it's okay
All the little things you notice, if you're watching the snow fall, too
It's piling up on the dried Queen Ann's Lace, such a beautiful delicate crown 
for such a poisonous majesty...
You said it perfectly the other night, how everything we tell each other is like hearing it for a second time...
You're like a song I've heard before, soft and sweet and a little sad and somehow perfect, 
one I never remembered 

And never forgot 
I walk into this theater now and the lighting goes purple, the color of you...
Let's take chances because what if 
What if we're right, what if this universe is nothing more 
than our imagination? 
Right now is all we have, you and I both know --
The past can hurt and the future is blinding...
Nov 18

You, the stars, and I

I lost you when the sky fell, I still love you in the mornings...
when I let my mind wander to the way you held me and the way you held all the stars in your eyes...
As if I belonged to you, as if all the stars in the sky were yours to keep forever, which I suppose they were...
And when the first shooting star glimmered, it reflected in your eyes, in those eyes, a window into the scattered constellations 
of your heart...
But I am still waiting for the day I can see you again, every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year feels like an eternity without you...
I still love you in the mornings, still think about the way you held me and the stars
I belonged to you, the stars and I 
Your eyes reflected first light, the only light I ever want to see
Time is frozen without you

@Amelia_v @star @elise.writer @EvieC
Oct 27

Age 13-20

This is a little thing I wrote during a class I was supposed to be listening to, just completely overwhelmed by life....for me, this is a tiny piece of what being a teenager feels like... losing someone and meeting someone else, random little things noticed and the urgent feeling to get out fo where you are...I hope y'all can relate to it and enjoy it :)

I've been told words have power, that
MY words have power...
so then what is it that I'm saying?

I still miss him but 
it no longer aches and I know he still misses me 
and neither of us have let go completely because why else would we still be talking?
...We'll find each other again someday

Watch blue sparks fly through a glass window, car rides to waterfalls with new people, 
this is beauty and both of us are aware of it

My shoes have walked these hallways for not very long but
Oct 21

And there

Autumn city streets line my mind, you are silver next to me, a reflection…

Falling leaves send me flashes, everything wanted leaves me pacing, breathless, missing something I do not have …

I love going places, anywhere, did you know that? Take me out west, by car or train, get there fast together, let’s disappear …

2 am and I’m wide awake, window wide open, crisp air prickling the bad dreams on my skin …

There’s an apartment painted blue in the corner of my vision, twisted iron railings and a 7 pm orange toned sky …

Ask me about Hope and I will tell you quiet walks, little half smiles, and what only the moon has seen …

I remember when it was time and so I went, hoping this time it would be different and knowing that it would be hard …
Oct 21


There is a way this world settles

In which light and dark are both transparent.

The marks people leave upon this world are too often scars.

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt,

But you do have some say in who hurts you.

There are times this world is beautiful

During which i have learned to tread lightly, and yet

Still leave enough footprints to be remembered. 

He told me that details are important so we don’t repeat history and so

Life is written in fine print.

There is a pain that comes with this world, 

Of which only a select few of us know.

It is the ache of being tired, of never being able to stop, 

Pushing yourself–

So you don’t have time to think.

Beating hearts make noise,
Even when broken.